To need some kind of closure -Content Warning (added by MNHQ)

[Journeyintomelody]

I've posted on MN quite a lot about this over the last year. The support and kindness I've received on this forum have helped me through a tough time.
Very quick context for those who don't know...
Single mum of 10 month old. Was raped whilst at uni (mature student). Made a complaint to uni During uni's investigation a decade long history or sexual misconduct was unearthed. I was the last in a long line. (I dread to think what other young girls before me went through!)

And so this is the outcome. I settled with the university. They agreed to compensate me (nowhere near as much as I lost but enough to help me get back on my feet). I was invited to give a statement re. the member of staff involved. I agreed and then they ghosted me. 2 months later I asked if they still needed my help, they said they had enough for their investigation and so I wasn't needed. (My initial thought was thanks for telling me! I'd been building up to this interview for weeks!). No updates, no reply to my letters or emails. Just a check. It appears that the member of staff on question no longer works at the university (as of January). However I still feel really annoyed that it's all been hushed up. It basically looks like he's been let go, but no damage to reputation and has gone straight to another place with no consequences at all. Maybe I'm being unreasonable,l...it just feels like such an anti climax. I don't know what I expected to happen. I just can't get over the fact this man has messed up the lives of so many people and just gets to walk free.

Im glad all the drama is over and I can get on with life with DD but at the same time wish I had had some closure.

Can any mumsnetters please give me some words to help me get over this?

How were you able to settle with the university? I am no lawyer but surely you can't settle out of court for a criminal offence? Did you report the tape to the police? If so, how did he walk free.
I'm sorry I haven't seen your other thread so I am sure I asking questions you answered already and I don't want you to go through this traumatic experience again. But yes... I would be uncomfortable with that outcome too.

If he's gone straight to another place, I'm assuming they have no idea what he's done and now more women are at risk. Perhaps start there, you could use your frustration to do good.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, you are absolutely valid to feel this way, I would be raging .

Like a previous poster I haven't seen your original thread, do I take it you didn't report this to the police? If not, is it too late? Have you signed a non disclosure agreement? Sorry to have to ask questions, but it's hard to know what to say when we don't know the original story.

I haven't signed an NDA. The university do know what he did, at least some of the worst things. There was also stuff that came up in the investigation that I don't know about. I didn't report it to the police at the time because it's my word against his. I have no evidence and also it was a pretty traumatic and I wasn't ready to go through the whole process at the time. I don't know whether he was sacked or left on his own accord but a linkedin search tells me he is somewhere else now with no real consequences. For the last year he wasn't allowed contact with students during the investigation and this essentially gave him time to advance his career in other areas. It looks like he's come out better rather than worse and it just makes me so mad. Part of me just wants to forget about it and move on but the other half is so angry at the injustice. I don't think it would be to late to go to the police but it's unlikely to go anywhere and risks making him even more angry - I don't want to put fuel on the flame..

If the university have evidence that their former employee is a serial sexual offender, are they not duty bound to report their findings to the police? Victims could decline to participate, I guess, but I’m surprised the university has no duty to report it if they have reasonable evidence or grounds to believe he is an offender. Is the issue the exact one you outline- “he said, she said” so there little “proof”- other than the weight lent by the fact there are multiple victims?

Could the reason they have not been publicly open about the reasons behind the perpetrator leaving (whether because he was sacked or resigned before he was sacked) be because he has not been charged/convicted of a crime they have to be careful about what is said more widely (even if their investigation is clear that multiple complainants/victims corroborate the history) due to risk of him claiming slander/libel or because it is “hear say” until tested in court.

I’m not a lawyer, or trying to brush aside what he has done in any way, but I imagine they can’t go around telling all and sundry he is a rapist when he has not been convicted of this. So, they could say he has been sacked for gross misconduct (of a sexual nature, perhaps) if asked for a reference, but could not take it further than that.

If you really don't feel you want to take it further OP, then I think the best thing you can do is try to put it behind you, but it might be worth considering some sort of therapy to help you to do that?