Ok forgive me for coming here to vent but I have no one else to discuss this with (as won't discuss my best friend's business with our other friends) out of loyalty and also know it's not my place to give unsolicited advice to her however I'm getting so fed up with my dearest and darling best friend being treated like an absolute fool by her selfish partner.
Ok so my best friend is in a relationship of about 6 years with a guy she's is totally besotted with, he's about 10 years older than her and has an 18 year old daughter from his previous relationship, he is quite well known in our area and local pub and is a self employed builder who works alongside his business partner on big contracts around the country so is quite respected/well known with other people in this kind of construction work and comes across a nice guy always first to buy a pint etc (basically puts on a good show)
I've had a few concerns about their relationship as I feel it's all very one sided, but kind of just keep my nose out , the first red flag to me was a few years ago when they were living together in a rented house and he went on to purchase a house with just him on the mortgage, which I thought a little odd seeing as they had been together for a few years at this point and were already cohabiting, plus my friend has a steady , reasonably paid job so didn't really make sense as to why he wouldn't want to buy with her but still, she resides in this house and contributes to it etc but has no rights to it whatsoever I did question this once and she quickly brushed it off as him wanting something to leave for his daughter etc, anyway I had my concerns but as we can all agree none of my business.
They are both a fairly sociable couple but him even more so, spends pretty much his entire weekend in the pub after working away all week, and goes on a lot of lads holidays, they do holiday together but always seems to be with a group of his friends or a other couple (that would be from.his friendship group), he never really seems to show interest in going away with just her etc but she seems happy enough to go along with it.
Anyway they now have a child together (4 weeks old today) and she is the most darling little girl and I really hoped this would make him more committed but to be honest I'm just shocked at how much he's walking all over her, apparently work is slow at the moment so he doesn't really have any until the end of Feb which I thought was positive as meant he would have a decent paternity leave, but he has literally been going to the pub most nights (as early as the day after her birth and the day she came out of hospital) and is also going on a lads holiday for his birthday next week to Spain for an entire week. And I think she's putting a brave face on and keeps saying 'oh well you know what it's like life changes for the woman and not the man' but I honestly think he's just treating her like a doormat.
Part of me was wondering if she was happy to go along with it as maybe he was paying for a lot of things and treating her well in that respect but then she had to change her car due to having a 3 door fiat 500 and wasn't practical, I suggested that his daughter has it as she's in the process of learning to drive and they between them get her a more suitable car for her with the baby etc, but apparently his daughter "wants an Audi" anyway she traded her car in and upgraded to something of similar spec but 5 doors, but I noted she mentioned that she was waiting for the finance to be approved what with her being on maternity, so he's obviously not offered to contribute.
I really know this is not my business so please don't lecture me but I'm so concerned at my beautiful friend who used to be so headstrong being treated this way, am I being over protective or do you guys think he sounds selfish?
It's not as if they are a young couple in their 20s who don't know different either she is in her mid 30s and him mid 40s
Sorry I appreciate this is a lot of info at once but needed to vent