How do people pay for a holiday? Decent income and can’t afford it?

[Ht1]

Our take home is 5,000 a month after tax. Mortgage 1,600, childcare 1,400, car payments 450 for two cars (each needed for work), bills 600, which leaves around 1,000 for petrol or days out and birthdays or one off expenses. Sometimes we can save 300 but not always and often that gets wiped out, like last month when we had tyres changed.

Just looked at holidays outside school holidays and it’s 1k minimum for accommodation for a week, much more if adding in parking at an airport and going abroad. How do people pay for this? It seems sad a family of three with 5k a month can’t book a uk holiday with ease.

You need to work out exactly where that 1000 a month is going!

You need to figure out your priorities, particularly whilst you still have those childcare costs. Would you rather have days out to the farm or a holiday?

Are there any places near you where you can get a membership for the year? Maybe a wetland centre or a RHS place? My kids love a good explore round somewhere like that. Family wetland centre memberhsip for the year is about £85. You can take a picnic. We also spend a hell of a lot of time on the local playgrounds. I’m totally bored but again the kids love it.

Second job pays for mine.

I think there's a modern expectation that kids need to be having these "enriching" days out all the time, which they never used to. In the 80s and 90s, a day out to something you had to pay for was a treat during the holidays. On a normal weekend at most we went to the swimming baths. The idea that it was even our parents' job to keep us entertained wasn't really a thing. We played amongst ourselves or with friends.

There were more years that we didn't have an annual holiday than ones we did. We were packed off to the grandparents twice a year for a week or so every year, though. They took us to Blackpool or the pictures, and we'd go to the playground everyday, and Nanna always had sweets (rarely allowed at home!).

I don't mean to be all, "kids today don't know they're born" (and I am remembering my Grandad lecturing us about how he had nothing more than an old bicycle wheel and a stick to play with as a child).

I purposely bought a cheap house so I wasn't overstretched.
I only buy cars with cash and when I absolutely have to.

I disagree that the car payments are what is driving this.

I think they're just part of a bigger picture which is that OP has high outgoings compared to her salary. 3/5 of her income is going on her mortgage and childcare. Another 1/5 on cars and bills. That doesn't leave much, really.

If another family is in her exact position but without the car payments, they're almost £6k a year better off. It's a lot of money when you think about it.

You have high outgoings! We have the same take home and mortgage is 1.3k childcare is £350 and no car payments
We still don't do luxury holidays- we're doing haven twice this year

You obviously have a nice house and high bills because of that nice house. Then you have nice expensive cars. If you had middle range and not high end then you’d be able to afford a holiday.

im so tired of people with decent incomes playing the poverty act

Totally get it. Credit cards for many I think whether they admit to it or not

I think if you've got £1000 a month discretionary spends and you can sometimes save £300 a month from that, just put £300 a month straight into a holiday savings account and then be strict with the rest. Obvs prioritise spends you have to do like presents etc and then if it gets to the end of the month and you're running short just do a visit to the local park with some pack butties instead of a pub lunch and farm visit. Xx

It's very doable to make £700 stretch, you might have to be alot more careful, maybe buy more things second hand but it's just until the kids start school. At least you can get a term time holiday. Xx

Request to work from home

You should still have childcare; otherwise what you are doing is looking after your children at home and expecting your employer to pay you for doing it.

Our total income is 3k for a family of 3 but our mortgage and childcare only come to £900.

We do prioritise holidays and therefore try not to spend much day to day - second hand clothes, free days out or National Trust (have memerships) with a packed lunch, eating out only when there's an offer on, don't spend anything on hair/beauty etc. Also only have one car between us.

As others have said, you can go away very cheaply on a Sun holiday or Butlins break and we have done both. The beauty of having a nursery aged child and not being tied to school holidays is that you can also take advantage of cheap out of season all inclusive breaks. There are options out there if you aren't too fussy about where you go, aren't expecting perfect sunny weather and are happy to make the most of it.

10 percent of your joint income on the cars is not cheap.

It's not a big mortgage in many parts of the country. In the SE it would barely get a two bed terraced assuming 10-20 per cent deposit.

Other people do things differently. Some people really plan. We bought a house in a cheap area and as a result were mortgage-free by our mid-30s. We spaced our children out so we didn't have to pay multiple childcare fees because we didn't have family help with childcare like some people. We both kept up with our careers. Took short maternity leaves. We did not spend £1k+ on holidays in the early days. We do now easily and can save for university if the children want to go.

£100k isn't a bottomless pit of money and children are an expensive lifestyle choice. You can't expect to fund a house, two cars, children in childcare, other associated costs, days out, AND £1k+ holidays on £5k a month. That isn't realistic. In your case, when your children no longer need childcare you'll have money for holidays.

But, in general, the more money people have, the more money they spend, so unless you prioritise saving rather than spending on days out and other frittery things you'll never have money for the big cost things.

Your childcare bill is phenomenal. There’s your answer. In a couple of years that’ll ease. A lot of people don’t manage any luxuries in the 1-3 years.

This! I’m in a big 3/4 bed in Scotland and my mortgage is half the OPs. In London you wouldn’t get a flat for what my house cost. Location is key with mortgages.

Why be so picky, it is a large mortgage in comparison to their earnings and other expenses, she wasn’t saying it was a large mortgage in comparison the south east.

op, the bottom line is you spend all you’ve got on other things, that’s why you can’t afford a holiday; others do not. So they can.

£1600 is a lot of money each month when you also have childcare costs of £1400 and bring in £5000.

And I know it's not a popular view on MN and I expect I'll get shouted down for it, but nobody has to live in the SE and spend nearly 2k a month to live in a terrace either. That's a choice they've made, just like many of us choose to move to cheaper areas in order to free up some of our income.

Me and my partner have 2 DC. Granted both are in school but we earn less than you. We earn about £4000 pm after tax. We pay £2500 in total outgoings per month including the house, the car etc. We still manage to afford a foreign holiday for the 4 of us. We book it and pay for it monthly. Then when we get back we wait 6 months and book the next one and do the same thing. It's a brilliant way of doing it as the money comes out ad a direct debit, i don't even notice its gone.

Less outgoings more frugal and sinplistic. Making short term sacrifices.

My DPs riased us humbly we didn't have "holiday" we would go visit family abroad once every 2 years yo see family not a holiday. We barely did paid activities in the UK. Did a lot of nature and sightseeing locally. DPs worked in factories and able to buy a home cash and after a some time comfortable enough to pay for annual holidays "back home".

If you want to save for something you have to count the pennies and cut back on none necessities. I didn't do paid after school clubs and I didn't suffer. Infact my beat memories were form normal non paid activities. Going to the park, going to the woods, picnics eith family and cousins etc etc.

Parents had 1 car and we would walk to school or get the bus on bad weather days. So from primary age walking 2 miles to school and 2 back. Secondary was 2.5miles each way.

I'm sure someone else may have said this but you have said bills £600 leaving £1000 over for petrol and days out.

Bills:
TV licence
Car insurance
House insurance
Netflix
Broadband
Phone contracts
Car tax
Food

I can't see how £600 can possibly cover all of that.

Then there is:

Haircuts
Dentist/prescriptions
Dry cleaning
Child's uniform and shoes
Clothes for parents
General household maintenance
Make-up
Birthdays: gifts and cards
Christmas
A tiny bit of socialising
Parking

I'm not sure you are including everything and when you do, there will be yiur answer.

Take out the child care payment and you're laughing.
It's always more expensive then.
We rarely had holidays when the kids were little.

There are holiday home swap sites where for an annual fee and you can swap to stay anywhere you want in the UK.

This article has lots of info: https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2022/oct/15/home-swap-holidays-stay-for-free-save-cost-of-living-crisis

Personally, I like the camper/trailer idea more though!

I take public transport to work which costs me about £85 a month, yes it's less convenient as I have to walk kids on foot in the morning then continue on foot to where I catch public transport. But it does save us quite bit?
The trains and buses are packed in the morning and afternoon so I'm pretty sure plenty of us make this choice - and yes, you feel a bit rubbish on packed grotty public transport rather than sitting in a your own fancy car but then, that's the trade off to afford a lovely holiday each year?
Also my mortgage is quite a bit lower than yours but income is higher - it all adds up.

Different people bought at different times and will be at different life stages, try not to compare.

Some people will be envying you, having managed to get on the property ladder, running two decent cars and managing to afford expensive childcare And still finding money for nice stuff like farm visits with your little one. Swings and roundabouts