In asking my MIL to go home???????????

[Eve34]

Ok this is a long one so hang on in there.

I was working away last week so MIL had my son for a few days. DP had friends over the weekend so spent Saturday with MIL. FIL was staying with DP so MIL asked if she could come down with me and spend the weekend with us.

On getting ready to go MIL,SIL and 2 dogs are all packed in the car. WE arrived home and rearranged sleeping arrangement, DP and I went in with DS. Dogs barked on and off in the night. DS woke between 12 - 4 am so we had a really bad night.

Monday afternoon we were all exhusted, so DP asked if she would mind going back home monday evening so that DS, DP and I had a good nights sleep as we had work Tuesday. MIL doesn't work. She huffed off and said I will just go as I am not wanted here and gave us hell on leaving.

So now I am left feeling really bad about upsetting her but it was unreasonable of her to bring Daughter and dogs causing more stress in the house.

So what do you think, do I need to butter her up, or wait for her to come round.

Many thanks

What does DP think? It's his M, he asked hr to go - why doesn't HE butter her up?

I think I have got a bit lost on the geography of where everyone was but after looking after your son for a few days, she probably did feel a bit 'oh they only want me when they need me'. Couldn't you have just asked the sister and dogs to go? or explained that it wasn't her who was the problem, but the sister and dogs?

IMO butter her up, she is being unreasonable but I would opt for a quiet family life over making a point here.

If it becomes on on-going thing (ie her having huffs) then I would move on to plan two!

HTH!

You didn't upset her. Your dp did . Let it be between them.

Did sil and dogs just get in the car then? At no point did anyone invite her, or hear her ask if she could come too? That's a bit weird.

I'd just leave it, tbh. Consider it done and dusted. You didn't do anything wrong! Sometimes it's best to stand your ground, firmly but politely. If she brings it up, maintain your position - the sleeping arrangements were inadequate and causing you problems. If you back down or try to coax folks out of their mardy fit, it comes back and bites you in the bum, ime because they think they just need to sulk and whine enough to control you.

And then, of course, you have to encase them in concrete and drop them in the Humber. It gets messy and awkward, really it does...

Thank you ladies, I am all for a quiet life I was trying to compormise (sp) by offering to sleep on lounge floor so they could stay. SIL doesn't drive and 200 mile trip. MIL had well and truely got the hump and went off. DP and MIL have a very difficult relationship, am getting fed up with being caught in the middle of it and always being the peace maker. Such is life.

Better the peace maker than the fire starter. Help him smooth it over. But at least she WENT!