Am I gaslighting my partner?

[MyVIsForVendetta]

Having trouble in my relationship and I don’t know up from down at the moment.
My partner is away after a fall out yesterday.
We have been messaging all morning and getting nowhere.

She says to me “I can be home in an hour or I can stay the night at the night at my mums.”
I was panicking and didn’t know what to say, she kept asking and I eventually said stay at your mums.

She went mad and said I must be having someone stay over then (im not), she started was angry and panicking that I wanted her away so I could fuck someone else.

I felt dumbfounded and said these were the options she gave me.

She said I was gaslighting her.
i can’t see how I was. Was I? She says I unintentionally gaslight her all the time and I’m worried she is right.

She often gives me options like this and gets mad when I choose the wrong one.
im so fucking confused.
there is of course more context but for now I really need to figure out if im unintentionally gaslighting my partner.

You had a row, she left and subsequently gave you the choice - she could come home or stay at her mum's. You elected for option 2 - stay at mum's. Then she goes bonkers accusing you of being unfaithful. It sounds like she was gaslighting you not the other way around.

You’re not the problem. She is.

“She often gives me options like this and gets mad when I choose the wrong one.”

You really don’t have to stay with someone who does this to you.

There is of course more context.

For example, I messaged my ex once when I was drunk. I can’t even remember what it said.
I think it was along the lines of “sorry I handled things so badly” regarding me leaving him.

I deleted it and she found out.

she doesn’t have by trust for me but that’s my cause

If she'd asked you whether she should come home and you said come home, then she said she was coming home and you denied you'd ever said she should come home, then you'd be gaslighting.

So, no.

Whether she trusts you or not is a different issue.