Apologies, this may be a long one, I’m having serious anxiety over whether I’m doing the right thing… perhaps this is more of a “get it off my chest” but we’ll see…
DS is in Primary Year 5. We moved 18 months ago just as DD was moving into year 6 therefore kids stayed at their current school as felt it was best for her to do her SATs first. DD is now in Secondary school and she started not knowing a single person. She’s made friends quickly and settled in well but is a sociable child so it didn’t come as a surprise.
DS stayed at original primary school - we battle traffic for 40 minutes each morning to get in to school (walking or cycling would make us late for work so we need to drive unfortunately), and there has been a couple of issues that I don’t think the school has dealt with correctly over the years however, both my children have loved it and have wonderful friends. DS has struggled to really concentrate in previous years, but he’s hit the ground running this year and has made an amazing start to the year!
On Friday DS and I went to visit a primary school within a 5 minute walk of both home and work. It’s a nice school, some of his teammates go there (although, they don’t really speak much), he could meet some new friends who would move into the secondary school he will likely be going to and who live in the area, and next year he would be able to independently take himself to and from school - something he has been itching to do this year but the distance would mean it would never be feasible for him. This also means I could increase my hours at work so I can upgrade the car which is on its last legs and afford a family holiday maybe. His best friends are in his football team so he’d still see them weekly. It all sounds great…
… but. I cannot get over this overwhelming anxiety I feel. I have visions of him walking a playground by himself, eating lunch alone, being picked on or whispered about! Or that he’s going to fall way behind and struggle to catch up, making his mental health dive bomb. He’s a shy boy until he feels comfortable and would watch from the side for fear of rejection if he asked to play. It’s 2am and I’ve been unable to sleep for fear that I’m taking him away from something so stable and a place he loves with people he trusts and plonking him somewhere with strangers. It is taking over every thought I have and I cannot switch off from it.
The new school have given me some reassurance that they will buddy him up and ensure he’s involved but nothing has settled this anxiety. They’ve even offered some day/afternoon/morning sessions before we officially accept an offer of a place to see how he gets on.
Im having such a head vs heart debate and all I want to do is the best for my son. In the long run, if this new school works out, it’ll 100% be the best decision. But what if it doesn’t…
YABU - Get a grip. Listen to your head, it makes sense and will be fine.
YANBU - Maybe moving him now isn’t the best idea?