Sleepover and friends

[Redjo123]

Hi, my daughter wants a sleepover for her 11th birthday. Until around 3 months ago my daughter and her friendship group were part of a larger group of 9 girls and 1 boy. They have recently (3/4 months ago) branched off into smaller groups and although they seem to talk to each other still things sound a little strained.
My daughter only wants to invite her smaller group of 4 and not the others which I am battling with as I feel bad for them not being invited ( I have known these girls for 4 years)
I have tried talking to my daughter about why she doesn’t want them there and it may bring them back together etc but she’s adamant that she only wants her small group of friends which is making me wonder if more has gone on in the group than she says and she isn’t telling me. I feel like it’s her birthday and she should have who she wants there.
Also not sure how I feel about her bestie staying over who is a boy ? What would you do ?

Let her invite who she wants but the boy wouldn't be staying if it was my daughter

I'd go for the small group. I don't think there would be anything to worry about from an 11 year old boy who is best friends with 9 girls, but speak to the other parents and make sure they are comfortable with it being a mixed sex sleep over.

It's up to her. You are over involved

Let her invite who she wants. Let bestie stay, but actually go to bed/sleep in a different room to the girls.

Oh and the boy thing. As long as there are others and they are not left alone then he should be invited

Of course he should join the sleepover if your daughter wants him there. It's great to have both girl/boy friends. My daughter had a boy in her otherwise female friendship group between the ages of 9-12 and they fairly regularly had sleepovers. It was TOTALLY innocent.

she should be able to invite/exclude whoever she likes, they are HER friends and not YOURS.

and if her bestie is a boy.. then he must be welcomed (with rules) and the agreement of the other mums.

Also, you can't make him sleep in a separate room!! That would be awful for him - it's a sleepover! My daughter just made the rule that they get ready for bed separately- no bother.

I think 10 guests for a sleepover seems like a lot, anyway?

Four is plenty for a sleepover, no need to invite the wider group.

I'd invite the boy and just keep an eye on them (which you should do anyway). I think having him sleep separately is fine if that makes you more comfortable.

4 is plenty for a sleepover - nothing wrong with a boy as long as other parents agree and he gets changed away from them

Invite who she wants boy sleeps in a different room