Not to accept friends quote for some work

[dinowars]

We needed some work doing on our house and had a friend who works for himself in that line of work.
After asking him to give us a quote we said we'd have a chat but actually thought he was charging a lot and so found a local guy who could it cheaper.
For context money is an issue and we were on a budget.
However this friend who is part of a couple we both consider good friends has also got some money problems as business is quiet and that's why we thought we'd like to offer them the work initially so got a quote.
They have now been asking when we'd like it done and are annoyed that we have got someone cheaper as they were counting on the money.

I regret asking them now, have we been unfair and ruined a friendship? We've seen them once since and things felt really awkward.

No you haven’t been unfair at all, you asked for quotes and picked one. That’s the whole point of quotes.

The one thing that you might have done a bit differently is thanked him for the quote and say that you had a cheaper one and you’re very sorry that you can’t afford to use your friend unfortunately. I’m sure they would have understood - maybe they are annoyed at the lack of communication rather than you not using them.

You haven’t done anything wrong. That’s the nature of working for yourself in a competitive market. Close friends sometimes do ‘mates rates’ so the fact that you’ve been able to find it cheaper by a stranger tells me that they weren’t worrying about your financial situation when giving you a quote. Thus you don’t need to worry about theirs.

Think the only thing you could have done is go back to him with the cheaper quote to see if he could match it if he couldn’t then explain you would need to go with the cheaper quote.

It’s rude of them to assume that you’d give them the work just because you’re friends. He could have done it more cost effectively for you, but didn’t because they assumed you were easy profit.

That’s why you never mix business with pleasure - it gets awkward.

This friend who is part of a couple we both consider good friends has also got some money problems as business is quiet

Maybe that's not surprising if he's charging over the going rate?

I can see why you now regret asking, but he's also being deeply unprofessional; in business you sometimes get the job and sometimes don't, and maybe it's time he realised being "friends" should make no difference

This is the issue with mixing business and friendship, I think.

Did you ask him to match the cheaper quote? I'd maybe have done that before going elsewhere, but YANBU to go with the person you can afford.

That is the way quotes work.

To be honest, you could be better off using the other guy anyway.

If the opportunity of another job came up in the middle of yours, your friend could take it as he needs the money and expect you to understand as your friends.

I would have let him know I was going with a lower quote - I'm sure that wouldn't have gone down well either but it is best to be clear.

You were unfair not to offer him the chance to match the cheaper quote before giving it to the other business.

This.

To be honest, you could be better off using the other guy anyway
If the opportunity of another job came up in the middle of yours, your friend could take it as he needs the money and expect you to understand as you're friends

A very valid point, @purplecorkheart ... it's a well worn path for tradies to "just pop out for 10 minutes" which turns into hours, without inviting it because someone "thought you'd understand"

My DH is a builder and sometimes when he quotes for a friend’s job he’s not the cheapest, it’s just how it is. But he’s busy and so not normally that fussed if he doesn’t get the work. It is aggravating though when a friend goes with a cheaper quote that my DH knows isn’t possible, and that somewhere in the course of the job, ‘something’ will come up and the contractor will charge for extras, taking the price well over the original quote. Worst example was when a friend was quoted for a loft conversion, DH priced in the cost of replacing a sizeable part of the roof because he could see it was fucked and wouldn’t take extra weight, his quote was £15k more than another contractor who didn’t include the replacement and promised to try to ‘save the roof’ 🙄. Anyway, the job ended up costing them a further £30k. That was annoying but it’s up to them really. Your choice.

My DH has had a similar experience @Showdogworkingdog - he's been called back a couple of times to fix bodge jobs by customers who went with the cheaper option, lol.