Do you feel your DH’s behaviour reflects on you?

[FairBrickBiscuit]

I absolutely love and adore my husband, we have so much fun together, he’s kind and smart and talented, and well, I love him.

He is very chatty and sociable, which is perfect as it gets me off the hook and he can do all the talking at parties. 😁

But sometimes he’s over the top and doesn’t pick on clues that people are trying to keep the conversation short, or that he’s oversharing. He does it at least once a day in my earshot (so probably much more than I’m aware of). It can be with friends and family or with acquaintances or complete strangers (« I’m not going to have cake: I’m watching my sugars » to the IKEA store manager yesterday, for literally no reason. I mean the guy had suggested that we go to the café and had coffee and cake while we waited for something, but he could have just said « okay lovely thank you and walked off »😂).

He did it again last night when someone asked us if we’d like to join them on a trip. I said yes and my husband added something about how he didn’t like the hotel on the last trip we went on with that person because the water in the shower wasn’t hot and he «almost got pneumonia » (the person we were talking to had chosen and recommended that hotel).

He does it all the time.

On the one hand I find it hilarious (it’s one of his idiosyncrasies and it’s harmless and quite funny) but on the other hand it embarrasses me.

Last night in the car on the way home I told him he was so embarrassing about the hotel thing and he couldn’t see why 😂

I mean I’m not going to change him now, but if your partner/parent/child does stuff that embarrasses you are you ever worried that it reflects badly on you?

He sounds pretty like me tbh. I had a very difficult childhood and had to face confidence and force myself to communicate. As a result I seen to have overcorrected and talk a lot of nonsense. I also score about 95% on an ADHD screening but haven't pursued an assessment. My wife is autistic and often quite quiet. She loves my nuttiness a lot but sometimes it's totally embarrassing for her. I really couldn't change this is how I get through life and be as happy as possible so we just accept eachother for who we are. Some people like random IKEA staff live a chat. Other people find it annoying. I've resigned myself to being pretty marmite. I think the best use of your energy is to accept your husband as he is. I'm a woman btw so doesn't quite answer it from a husband point of view. I think it's more men that are like this than women as people are less likely to tell them to shut up 🤣

Hahaha! My partner does the exact same thing!

He will also speak at length about some things if you dare to mention a topic he's passionate about, completely ignoring cues that the other person absolutely did not ask for this info dump - i.e, they will ask him how work is going, my partner is super passionate about his job, he will tell them exactly how work is going... For the past month, and how he expects it to go the next few months, the issue he had with a project, and how it was fixed, how late he has worked some days, that weird meeting he had...(my partner is currently getting assessed for ND for a few reasons, this info dumping being one of them).

I imagine it does reflect on me maybe. Perhaps? I agree it's slightly embarrassing, I get uncomfortable watching my dad's eyes glaze over. But I don't think I care that much really.. I like it. I like his passion too. It's him and he's lovely. He's the best sort of bloke and it doesn't seem to put other people off socialising with him either.

Yup all the time. Although sometimes I’m also embarrassed by my own behaviour when I realise a split second too late I overshared!

I guess it’s good you can laugh about it now but if you ever get the ick factor it’s probably the first thing you’ll start to cringe and hate.

It actually makes me feel better to see it might be quite common and that perhaps no one thinks much of it…😁

My ex-h was embarrassing to be with a lot of the time. Always moved the conversation around to him and his epilepsy and over-shared. I remember him speaking to someone next to us in a bar (he'd butted into the conversation) and as the bloke put his hand out for his beer, my ex shook his hand. It was so embarrassing and the bloke was pretty rude about it.

My DP probably wouldn't get himself into embarrassing situations. He has Aspergers so is careful of how he comes across anyway as he's been called weird in the past.