To un-embrace the grey?

[Thebrandnewdeal]

Ok please talk me down if I’m about to do something stupid.

I am 44 and started to go grey very young, by the time I was 30 I was having to dye my hair regularly. By my mid thirties it was at the point of having to dye it every couple of weeks as so much grey was coming through. I was fed up with it and buoyed by people my kind of age on insta who had proudly ditched the dye and looked great, I decided to go for it.

My natural colour is a mid-dark brown, so when I decided to embrace the grey it was a bit of an undertaking. I got my hair highlighted quite a lot over a couple of years, until it was white/silvery blonde, and then once I got to the colour I wanted I just got partial highlights every 6/7 months or so just to even it up.

So that’s how my hair has been for the last 6+ years, and I loved it for a long time, so much less hassle, and people would often tell me how nice it looked. However, in the last few years my face has started to catch up, and whilst I’m still not particularly wrinkly for my age, I definitely don’t look like I did when I first went grey. I feel like back then I could pull it off in a kind of ironic, down with the kids kind of way (that shade of hair was very fashionable with the yoofs), but it’s dawned on me lately that I look like an old, washed out crone.

So is it too late to revert my decision? I know I will be even greyer than I was last time my hair was brown, and I will be dying it all of the time. But I’m looking at people I know who are my kind age who still have their natural hair colour very enviously at the moment. If I decide I hate it and want to start the grey process again it will take a good couple of years to get through the brown dye and get it highlighted to the right shade again, so I need to be sure about this.

AIBU to consider this? A very vain AIBU I know 😬

Go for it. The only thing I’d suggest is having a good think or maybe a chat with your hairdresser about what colour would suit you best rather than automatically going for the mid dark brown you used to be.

That’s great advice, and probably a lot safer than me grabbing a box of dye and then being full of regret.

Although I haven't ever worked as a hairdresser, I did train to be one over 20 years ago. I remember the advice used to be is that you shouldn't fight the grey with a darker colour. You go with it by going lighter. Advice/opinion/trend may have changed since.

I don't think a box dye is the way to go. Home dyes always look flat and cold imo. No ones hair is naturally one solid colour. Your tresses will look much more natural and pretty if done by a professional.

Personally, I'd be tempted with hi and lo lite foils with a light brown on the rest if you want rid of ALL the grey. But as I say, I've not worked in that field for a long, long time so I may be totally wrong!

Also, it depends on your finances and whether you want to spend the money and time in the salon every couple of months. As you state being quite vain (as am I lol), it might be worth the investment.

I'm 41 and lucky that I only have 1 grey hair, that I pull out (my mum was very grey mid 30's, but then, she had to put up with me!). And I found a grey hair "down there" the other day 🤭

Speak to a good stylist about ‘grey blending’. There are some good videos on TikTok/YouTube that show amazing examples of styles that look fantastic and are much lower maintenance than all over dye. Good luck!

Tbh I'd think very carefully about it and I'd also avoid trying to revert back to what was your natural colour.

Personally what I find most aging is people dying their hair the (dark) shade it was in their youth without considering how much their complexion has changed.

I'm in a slightly different position in that my hair is naturally dark blonde/very light brown depending on the light or if I've been in the sun.

But my grey is getting ever more prevalent and not in an attractive way ie it's not grey enough to rock that look, but too grey that it's very noticeable (to me at least).

I've chosen to have fine highlights through it to bring it to a mid tone cool blonde. I'm really happy with it.

It's not a massive maintenance issue for me as highlights are much more forgiving on re-growth and my colourist deliberately used multiple shades that included my natural colour and very light (almost grey) so it all kind of grows in together iyswim.

Having gone through the grey transition I wouldn't go back to block colour if I was you, but lighter highlights might work.

That said, in your position as a first step I'd probably look to my make up.

When I started hair highlighting I also realised I was still using the same makeup shades and products I had used for years and they just didn't cut it anymore.

Specifically a change to a balm foundation (more like a tinted moisturiser), a great concealer, cream blush (not powder), ditching the black liquid eyeliner in favour of a soft eyeshadow stick in brown and a warmer shade of lipstick was a game changer.