Husband's cousin

[optimistic47]

My husband's cousin concerns me with his comments. Whilst not directed 'at me' he comes out with things in front of me as the only woman in the room. One time he joked about the use of rohypnol as a date rape drug when we went round his house at christmas. Tonight I had his non-stop commentary about the sex appeal (or not of) females on top of the pops, and their need to get their kit off. My husband made a joke about the difference between a dog and fox (he said 8 pints). My brother in law just sat their impassively. The cousin laughed, and noted that I looked 'pissed off', I just thought he was extremely rude in my living room as a guest (we've put him up for several days). My husband tried to pacify me afterwards saying 'you know what he's like, he meant no harm'. His cousin is 60 and not some 20 year old in a nightclub. Am I being unreasonable to feel fed up with my husband's cousin?

Gross behaviour. What young lady with decent amount of self esteem would ever want to "get her kit off" for an old pervert to leer over?! Umm no thanks Saville.

I found your husbands joke harmless TBH. But the rohypnol comment is concerning. Never let yourself or any other female be alone with this man 🤮

Maybe he just has an odd sense of humour, but I think it's creepy AF.

He and your dp both sound awful and both you and your bil should have spoken up. Why were you watching Top of the Pops?

Going off topic, but why do you ask why they were watching TOTP? It’s on tv every Friday, and my husband and children (teens) enjoy watching it. Not meaning to sound rude, just genuinely intrigued by your comment.

Sounds like misogyny runs in the family op, your husband's joke was disrespectful as well.

I did actually say something in my own home. His cousin has way too much to say for himself and admitted to me earlier in the evening that he doesn't mean to upset people but he has 'no filter' (translation: I don't care if I am a dick, and make no apologies for it). I think he took the hint that I found him a pain in the butt. He's gone back home this morning and doesn't live locally (thank god).

Ah we all love a good joke that contributes to rape culture, top bants from this man

He's obviously a piece of shit but I’d be seriously unhappy for my partner to not call out a joke like that, “mate that’s not funny that’s pretty fucked up”. They say “not all men” but happily let fucked up comments like this slide

Wait, what, TOTP is back on?!
And yes OP, sorry he's awful, and so is your husband for enabling him.

Ughh. I'd be more bothered about your husband's comment. A one off comment said to be cheesy, yes, maybe. The same comment by a man in the company of both his wife and known dirty pervert cousin...no chance. I'd be having words with him and seriously considering what he was playing at. And why on earth do either of you entertain spending time with someone else who jokes about date rape?

I have had a private word with my husband about this, and said how uncomfortable and offensive I find it - especially as the only woman in the room. The drug comment was at the end of our joint christmas get-together in the cousin's home. As I didn't live locally or drive I was kind of stranded with them TBH. I think I was quite shocked at the 'joke' and felt even more awkward as this was in the man's home. Last night I was glad that they left my company, however they looked at me as if if it was my problem. We all know that comments like these are unacceptable but his relatives kind of looked at me as if I was I was the hostile one.

My husband made a joke about the difference between a dog and fox (he said 8 pints). My brother in law just sat their impassively. The cousin laughed, and noted that I looked 'pissed off',

I don't get this bit, should the cousin have ignored your DH?

Interesting point on the lack of filter. My brother is exactly the same as you describe this cousin. In the case of my brother I don't think he's purposefully being a dick, but he doesn't know how to behave any other way.

He can't read the room, doesn't know when something is inappropriate or not, he gets a thought in his head and says it out loud. He thinks a joke is funny so he'll tell it to everyone else, regardless of setting. Chronic oversharer.

He has other traits that make me think he has some form of Asperger's or something like that.

It’s repeats from over the years. It’s been on tv for some time now. They watch the episodes on Friday nights, but not sure if there are others.