People overestimate how much children cost on here?

[Bankin]

Yesterday found an old bank statement from 2019 and worked out after paying my rent I only had 400-500 a month to spend on everything else with one child.
No idea how I managed that but I did and now it has me wondering about all the threads where people say they can't afford kids because they'd only have a couple thousand left after the mortgage/rent? Am I unreasonable to think these people are being a bit dramatic?

No it’s usually not cheaper to rely on partners wage unless on minimum wage.

@Bankin no because if you take a step back from your career, for many it won't recover.

Is it really so insane to think some people want to plan to have kids without having to financially rely on another person or the government?

In the short run it might be cheaper but not in the long run when you consider loss of earnings, loss of career progression, pension etc

Not to mention a woman having financial independence is priceless.

You say 'survived' that is very different from 'living'.

I am pretty sure most of us can 'survive' on much less than we do, we can all do without new clothes, nights out, make up, streaming services, mobile phones, bottle of wine on a friday etc etc but most people don't want to have to scrape by!

Of course there are sacrifices to be made when choosing to have children but most people do want to provide there children with a certain level of luxury and are entitled to that opinion.

People also have different levels of out goings - council tax varies - ours is £218, back in 2019 it was about £190 which would use up nearly half of your £400 that you had to live off. add in electric, gas and water and we would then have NO money left for food, school uniform, internet, TV, mobile phones, medicine, toiletries, petrol, car tax, car iinsurance, house insurance, buildings insurance, life insurance, kids activities, school dinner money and so on and on. I really dont believe you were living a nice life on £400 unless you mean after all your bills had been paid??

I was exempt but only while a student in 2019 and the first half of 2020. There was a discount after that for being single but that still did not leave much money left over for everything else don't see how these people who can't cope with 1.5-2k leftover money would cope lol

not in london but 5 days 7:30-3;30 after funded hours is £1200 for us...

Oh I agree it's priceless. My child is in school now anyway so I don't need childcare but some of the childcare bills mentioned on this thread are more than my current monthly wage so it would be cheaper to rely on my other half in that situation at least for a few years

Whereabouts?

Of course they would cope if they had to but lots don’t want to have to cope and doesn’t fit with their idea of what they believe is important for their children’s lives.

South also.

was the £400 between both you and your husband in total or just what YOU personally had left after paying your half of the rent? How did you spend that £400?

@User67556 not in London, our nursery fee for 4 days a week after the 15 funded hours (DS not old enough for the 30 hours yet), is £1200

My household direct debits, excluding mortgage, are almost £1k a month.

Kids can be "kept" cheaply or expensively, it all depends on circumstances. If you only have £2k a month left but your season ticket for the trains to get to work are £500 a month and food is £800 a month and fuel is £100 a month it soon disappears.

But surely you can understand these costs are out there - you may chose to live the way you have, others won't want to scrimp and save every penny. It doesn't make anyone's choice less valid.

Might be more expensive in the long run though if you missed out on career progression, pensions etc. Some people just take the financial hit because their DH can pay the childcare bill and they know it will pay off eventually.

I’m not sure what point you’re making. In 2019 you spent £500 a month for all your bills, living costs and child expenses? Okay?
I pay £2,700 just to go to work.
Whats the relevance?
Other than childcare both children combined probably averages out to about 400 each a month when you factor in food, clothes, clubs, gifts through the year, birthdays, holidays etc.

Still depends though doesn't it. We don't have childcare costs anymore but 1500 is pretty much our monthly bills not including mortgage, so the situation you're describing would've been unaffordable for us. Thankfully we're not in that position though

£1.5K after mortgage doesn’t go that far if you HAVE to run two vehicles (like we do for our jobs), even with no lease payments you’re looking at £150-£200 a month on insurance and tax plus fuel. Or if your council tax is high, or your house is inefficient to heat etc etc.

There was no way I was giving up my hard fought career either to live off my DH’s wage

Agree with a pp that there's a difference between living and existing.

I also think people budget in different ways. I do it annually so each month I'm hypothetically accounting for my car MOT, Christmas presents, annual trip to opticians etc. That way if I need £200 for tyres or £100 for new lenses it's there and doesn't wipe me out for that particular month. Other people just live in the month they are in and don't account for this...so their figures would look wildly different.

I think childcare is too expensive although it is short term. I wouldn't say my DS is massively expensive at primary age but I'd feel really upset if I couldn't afford for him to play for his football team or have any treats.

In 2019 a full time nursery place was £920 and that same nursery place is now £1200

What thread? Let's see

A colleague of mine pays nearly as much for one child full time than we did for twins a few years back. I'm so relieved we're out of that.

Just making the point that some people overestimate how much kids cost if I managed with £500 after rent then can't see how they can't manage with thousands after rent. This was 2019 up to 2022 btw things were still expensive 2021/22

But that's 'Mumsnet skint' which seems to be not having enough money to live exactly where you want to, buy exactly what you want as often as you like without ever having to compromise or think about the cost.

Remember that all DC need their own room with enough space for a double bed before they reach school age.

@Bankin but you've had many, many, MANY explanations on this thread of why this may not be possible. Congratulations, gold star on being frugal. But personally I wouldn't consider it responsible to plan to have a baby with only £400 to cover all bills - too many variables.