School refused to authorise absence

[Windybananas]

Hello everyone, looking for some insight into whether IABU.

We live rurally and about 45 minutes from DD's primary school. There are closer schools, but she was settled in when we moved here, so decided to keep her there at her request. The driving is a pain, but we work over that way too, so it fits in usually and she is adamant she wants to stay there.

Her attendance is excellent and she received a certificate last term for outstanding attendance. She loves school and always has fab parents evenings etc. Anyway, due to where we live, we are really suffering from the storm. We have lost power. Where we live is surrounded by (extremely bendy!) trees and a ford, too. I am also heavily pregnant (40 weeks) and also have a 19 month old. We currently have 78mph winds according to Met Office. I imagine in reality, it's much higher too, given we are on an exposed hill. As I say, it's pretty rural... think barren hill land.
Anyway, I rang the school office this morning to explain the situation and that I didn't feel it was safe to do a 90 minute round trip with DD in these circumstances. The office then refused to authorise the absence. I'm really angry as her attendance record is excellent as stated earlier. I appreciate it's not their problem that we live far away, but surely a bit of understanding and common sense is needed here.
Also just before anyone says it's unfair to keep DD in this school, I would love her to go to a closer school (I'd even say the closer schools are actually better...) but she really wants to stay where she is and we have respected that.
I am also a teacher myself (secondary) so I understand the attendance push and keeping on top of parents who are lax etc. But we never have been.
AIBU to contest the office's refusal to authorise the absence?
Thanks.

Exactly.

Lying goes against my very basic instincts, but it's easier for you and for the school. And it really doesn't make a difference to your DD's schooling.

Our schools closed, but previously (I also live 30 mins from my kids schools, on the side of a wind-swept hill) I've called in in bad snow/wind to say we'll not make it in today and it's been fine.

Red weather warning ffs!

Same. Our schools closed today in the amber zone.

Just write to the head teacher and complain. They’re being unnecessarily unreasonable.

OP it's painfully ironic that on one hand you're complaining what a bureaucratic nightmare school absence policies are and on the other hand you're saying you would judge a child for having an unauthorised absence.... have you actually heard yourself?!

Yeah because a headteacher has nothing better to do than deal with petty complaints like this 🙄. The child has an excellent attendance record. One unauthorised absence will not result in a fine or social services knocking at the door- it’s really a non-issue.

It’s annoying OP - like you said you tried to do the right thing and got penalised for it - obviously one of those “computer says no” moments for the school / headteacher. It’s one of those silly things!

as other PPs have said a one off unauthorised absence really shouldn’t make a difference. I appreciate you work in a school and they are hot on attendance but in a child that has an otherwise perfect attendance record and no other concerns at home I think you know that this is really not going to mean anything at all. If you’re really worried take pictures of the tree blocking your path and your pregnant bump that will be time stamped so if needed you can prove this is an exceptional circumstance.

enjoy day off with little one congrats on new addition to family.

Can you show where the OP was judgemental? I've just read all her posts and can't find a single instance of this, and I would certainly be sensitive to this as a parent of a DD who missed most of three and a half years of school.

The stats are about the school, not your dd.

The part where she's scared of her child having an unauthorised absence in her record because it will make teachers like her put her child in the category of 'those families' who don't care about attendance. She's worried people will think she's poor, or uneducated, or a bad parent, because that's how she views people.

Let's examine what she says:

I think for those saying it doesn't actually matter... I guess you are right. I am just frustrated that I tried to do things properly, yet was given a response that basically said my reason was not acceptable. Also, I know as a teacher myself, that unauthorised absences aren't ideal to have on your record. Yes they 'don't matter', but they create an often unfair picture of a child's family having bad attendance/not caring etc. Maybe I am more worried as I've seen it from the internal side of things.

They often create an unfair picture of a child's family having bad attendance/not caring.

That is not judgemental, it is standing outside of the bureaucracy and saying that the system is unfair.

I have been on the receiving end of plenty of judgement for unauthorised absences, and trust me, that is not it.

“It's also not true that unauthorised absences don't matter. Sadly they do, as they absolutely inform a teacher's perspective of the child's background”

“I know as a teacher myself, that unauthorised absences aren't ideal to have on your record. Yes they 'don't matter', but they create an often unfair picture of a child's family having bad attendance/not caring etc.”

This is where op has said that teachers make judgements based on unauthorised absences.

I honestly wouldn't worry about 1 unauthorised absence. It's not the end of the world and I'm sure their hands are tied as to what reasons they can authorise absence for. They don't have to take your travelling distance into consideration as it's your choice to keep her in a school that involves such a long commute.

This.

when I get myself worried about things like this, I try to ask myself whether it will matter in five years’ time or if anyone will even remember it happened.

usually something else has popped up to replace this particular issue!

I'd be tempted to complain. If schools don't want to deal with "petty complaints" and head teachers "don't have time for this", then they should just authorize it in the first place...

I’d take a picture of the tree blocking your access. Email it to the school and leave it at that.

Well if they don’t like it, maybe as a leader they should try empowering their teams to exercise discretion and common sense.

Or maybe the op should just let it go because it doesn’t matter…

This. It's such a cop-out to say that schools/headteachers should be protected from dealing with the minor consequences of THEIR defective implementation of rules. The "don't trouble them with petty matters" approach is depressing. If rules are unfair or silly, they should be changed and they are fair game to be complained about.

But it does to OP, hence they started a thread about it.

It doesn’t matter to you, in your world or the context of your life, and that’s great for you. But telling someone who has a problem that it doesn’t matter, doesn’t solve their problem or help them to find a solution.

It really doesn't matter.
Schools do not have the flexibility to authorise an absence of this kind. The circumstances for an absence to be authorised are very very narrow.
There will be no consequences if it's not part of a pattern of behaviour demonstrating a low regard for attendance.

It isn’t the school’s fault if there simply isn’t a category for authorisation that they can tick.

Of course a string of unauthorised absences for repeat holidays , kids birthday, Mum’s birthday, random duvet days, probably alongside late arrivals etc etc will inform a school’s view of the parental support that a child gets… but the OP is already known as a parent who attends parents evening, has a well supported high achieving child.

I think you have to commit to a lot to choose to live in very rural places where it is a lifestyle choice, but I wouldn’t give this unauthorised absence a moment’s more thought.

I think the best way is to send them an email with listing all the info and then to keep this email and their reply for your records. If the issue arises you’ll be able to show it.

Unauthorises absence doesn't have any bearings on anything unlesd there is a pattern or blatently went on holiday for a week. Otherwise noone cares about it, so don't worry

I'd be annoyed too and would challenge it, because it's encouraging you to put yourself and your children in a dangerous position.

Imagine if you had felt under pressure to make the journey when they had refused to authorise it despite the weather warnings and been injured or had an accident