To think it’s okay to stay friends with an ex, even if your current partner is uncomfortable with it?

[MyCraftyHazelSeal]

I have an ex who has been a good friend for years and our relationship ended amicably. My current partner, however, feels uneasy about it and has asked me to cut ties. I believe that trust is key and I don’t think I should lose a meaningful friendship because of someone else’s insecurity. AIBU to think it’s okay to stay friends with an ex or is this crossing a boundary?

Seriously. It's 8 months in. It's not going to get better. It will get worse and eat up the relationship.

Wwll, even if you did, your new dp will want to check your phone perhaps. It will never end. Your friend will be hurt if you drop him, and rightly so.
Do you talk about your friend a lot? Are you allowed to have other make friends?

Do you live together?

I think cutting ties is a bit harsh, especially if it’s only one or texts a month. I guess bf thinks you still fancy him, or vice versa.

What causes you or him to text? Are you in the same friendship group? Did you know him before? What do you text about?

Would your current partner be included in this "friendship"? If not, why not?

My ex and his ex had regular meetups. He wouldn't tell me, wouldn't discuss it in any way. When we were on holiday together she sent, "love and miss you" messages, but apparently all platonic 🤔. It was sending me mad until I decided not to care anymore.

She'd go and clean his house whilst he was away.

Funny that now we are not together (though still shagging on my terms), he's going away with her next week and will be sharing a double hotel room. I hope I give her as much insecurities as she gave me, though I don't think so as she seemed to blindly trust him.

He's a snake, but I'll keep him around until it suits me otherwise for the shags. She's an outright birch because she knew what she was doing to our relationship, but was out to damage it

I didn't meet her until 3 years in when I insisted on it. He refused to be there. That's not a friendship. I only saw her one other time and both were there. He hung on her every word.

I hadn’t thought of it that way. I don’t talk about my friend excessively and my partner hasn’t expressed an issue with me having male friends in general. We don’t live together so it’s not like my ex is constantly around or involved in my life in a way that would make things uncomfortable.

I also wouldn’t be okay with my partner wanting to check my phone or micromanage my friendships - trust has to work both ways.

I agree that cutting ties feels harsh, especially since our contact is quite minimal - just the occasional check-in or chat about general things. We’re not in the same friendship group, and I didn’t know him before we dated, so it’s not like we’re constantly crossing paths.

The texts are usually casual, like catching up on life updates or sharing something we know the other person would find interesting. There’s no romantic vibe to it, at least from my side, and I don’t get that impression from him either.

I wonder if my boyfriend does think there’s still something there, even though I’ve reassured him that it’s strictly platonic.

Thanks for all your comments everyone. I’ve really appreciated hearing your thoughts and perspectives. I’ve decided I’m going to head to bed now and tomorrow I’ll break things off with my boyfriend. Thanks again for helping me think this through.

Asking this at 8 months and when you're only in contact once or twice a month is unreasonable. I actually think introducing them specifically isn't a good idea. It would make it seem like your ex is a bigger part of your life than he actually is, and probably pander to your boyfriend's insecurity.