To have not expected these feelings

[Howles]

I decided to end my relationship almost 8 months. I genuinely thought I didn’t love him anymore as he put no effort into our family and I had so much resentment as he spent most of his time out with friends/hobbies etc. I was fine until he met somebody else straight away and now I can’t stop thinking about them Both. He never even replies to messages about the children and barely sees them. Why is it so hard?

Sounds like you made the right decision. I couldn’t respect a person who didn’t want to speak to their children or care about them, let alone love them.

Stop messaging him, get on with your life for the sake of the children. You’ll find much better.

how could somebody just do that? I guess some people don’t like the responsibility of being a parent

Men really are not wired the same as women. To me it sounds like he wanted it to be over but wasn't brave enough to do it himself. So he treated you badly until you did it. He then doesn't have to be the 'bad guy'. He's gone out and found a replacement but he will be with her until in difficult and then leave much the same as he does to you. The fact he doesn't put effort in with the children just shows what kids of person he is, never trust anyone who doesn't care about their own children. He might start making an effort with the kids if the new woman starts asking questions about why he doesn't see them.

Sounds like he checked out a long time ago so it was probably easier to move on. Be reassured at you’ve done the right thing; his behaviour proves it

Was it eight months ago that you ended it? I'm assuming so since you say children and I'm assuming you didn't have twins who are tiny.

This.

Usually men who meet someone else "so quickly" actually had them on the side for a while first.
Sorry.

Try not to give him anymore headspace for your own well being.

He'll be with her for a bit then he'll do to her what he did to you.

As much as it hurts I know that this is usually the case

so your kids have met , been rejected by, and now lost a step parent?
next time wait longer before introducing a bf

Some people aren’t like that. Not just men, not just women. No man I know is like this and I know a lot. Her partner is crap, but let’s not revert to damaging stereotypes and excusing bad behaving because of sex.

No this is their father sorry

I read it as the children were theirs? If not this does change things.

Just missed your update. I know of three men that have left due to relationships and they all are very invested in their children. Your ex sounds like a person who you don’t need in your or your children’s lives.

No we have 2 children together and broke up 8 months ago. He is now with somebody else, I am not in another relationship

I ended a 10 year relationship. I was so horrified it was me ending things I gave up my share of the house and moved out with our son. I don’t think my side of the bed was even cold before he had another woman. We live and learn.

He sees them once a week and is always late to pick them up, he doesn’t even give them a call until the following Sunday it’s absolutely heartbreaking. I feel like such a fool for having children with with this man but I was with him for 10 years until I felt I could trust him to be a good father, not always the case though is it

Just bloody awful

not to drive nails to your coffin but I do not understand the logic of no fault divorces nor waiting the man always to be with me and no having hobbies.

My husband and I are all very happy sitting on our devices doing each their thing. The more time I have to myself, the better

Yes but I should also get the same amount of free time. It was massively unfair

It’s really hard not keep myself from comparing myself to OW. All her pictures are really filtered so it’s hard to work it out. I know I am just torturing myself at the minute.