Partner always being early is driving me mad!

[TheTraitors123]

Partner is very uptight about being late to things… mainly around arriving to work.

He works as a non-clinical staff member at a hospital (along the lines of cleaner, porter, security) and he insists on leaving the house an hour and 45 minutes before his shift actually starts, and we only live 20-25 minutes away from the hospital - meaning he arrives over an hour early.

I know for a fact that is what he is doing as it’s a bit of a running joke in the department and there’s often photos of him in the office (in a joking way) in the group chat, and there are no concerns about cheating or doing anything dodgy etc.

I know he panics quite a bit about rushing around and being late for things but AIBU to think it’s a ridiculous amount of time to show up early to work? He can’t leave any earlier at the end of his shift so it doesn’t benefit him or us for him in that way.

Does he insist on you being early too, if you have a shared engagement? And does he angrily put you under pressure to be early?

I have experienced this. I would ask for total clarity about the departure time and they would still start nagging me half an hour before that pre-agreed time. Used to make me so fucking angry.

Anxiety was my first thought. At least he cares about his job and takes it seriously. Sounds reliable. I can see why it's annoying though

At this point, the OP hasn't actually said in what way it affects her day to day.

This is true. I was responding to a poster who asked why it would be a problem for OP for him to be so early - these are some reasons it could be a problem. Of course, it would be better if OP explained why (if) it causes her problems.

I'd be more stressed at the thought of giving them an extra hour of my time for free every day! If he works 5 days a week, that's 20 extra hours a month! That's quite a lot imo.

Leaving an hour for the commute seems reasonable, in case of traffic or whatever but nearly 2 hours is a bit silly.

If the commute really stresses him out to this extent, I'm not sure there's much you can do about it. Maybe ask him to reduce his leave time bit by bit, say 10 mins a week until he's at the hour mark. That will still leave enough time and include extra for any unforeseen circumstances that may unfold.

My Dad was like this. He'd get so impatient with us (never angry) even if we weren't late, and would go and wait in the car with the engine running. Mum and I hated it.