to have a poo whilst talking on the telephone

[nametaken]

obviously I wouldn't do it to a prospective employer, but I often take the phone into the toilet with me when my mum, sis, or hubby rings.

It drives my husband mad but is it really such a terrible thing. Surely I am only multi-tasking?

[bran]

What do you do about washing your hands? You can't do a proper soap and water handwash if you're holding a phone.

Please, please don't tell me you don't wash your hands after a poo. I might faint with the horror of it.

[Lovesdogsandcats]

"you know, you scrunch your fanjo so the wee trickles out?"

littlewonder, thanks for making me laugh!

[nametaken]

I stay where I am until the phone call is finished then I wash my hands.

[Joash]

If you do it regularly, you do get very good at holding the phone between shoulder and ear whilst washing your hands.

[maidamess]

Never mind washing your hands, how the bejeezus do you wipe your arse whle you are on the phone?

[aprilgirl1]

he he this is funny.. must confess im at poo'er while on the phone but do put loo roll down to disguise the plop!!! and have done it while on phone to sort bills out and things

[aprilgirl1]

he he this is funny.. must confess im at poo'er while on the phone but do put loo roll down to disguise the plop!!! and have done it while on phone to sort bills out and things

[hatwoman]

don't you/the people you;re talking to find the phone a bit echoey in the bathroom? isn't that a give away.

I have spoken to my boss while dealing with a poo-ing dd. but that was in the sitting room on a potty - no give away plops or echoes. definitely multi-tasking.

[LaComtesse]

Pad the loo with loads of paper and cough at the vital moment. I've done it .

[frauster]

Poetic justice to "attend to business" while 'on hold' to customer services in revenge for piped Vivaldi. However, a bit like Russian roulette if adviser picks up the call or false-roulette if they have those intermittent messages that come on from time to time.

[hatwoman]

that makes me want to sing
"Pad the loo with loads of paper tra-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la"

[Joash]

maidamess wiping yer arse while you are on the phone? same principl, as I said earlier - If you do it regularly, you do get very good at holding the phone between shoulder and ear whilst washing your hands Wiping your arse.

[PollyPentapeptide]

i once had to wee into a jug whilst talking to solicitor on the phone. he talks so slowly (which is bad enough as he charges by the hour)but it was on his phone bill so I didn't want to excuse myself and offer to ring him back. He never suspected

Couldn't poo though (bit of a grunter ) so deffo no!

[Lauriefairycake]

I have no problem with pooing on the phone but I wouldn't share that with who I was talking to.

I draw the line at wanking though ....... even if half way through I would stop (I'm sure you're all delighted to hear that)

[Joash]

oo i wouldn't ever poo on the phone - don't you find that it muffles the mouthpiece

[LittleWonder]

all these people questioning handwashing - hold phone between ear and shoulder, this leaves you with 2 hands, you can wipe, wash and wave blimmin wands whilst on the point.
My Mum lets her food go cold because she will not eat and talk to me at the same time.

[LittleWonder]

point? phone

[madamez]

People worrying about germs? how exactly are germs from one person's ringpiece transmitted DOWN THE PHONE SIGNAL? FFS! (Hnnng! THrrrp!)

[harpomarx]

no, no, no!

am too uncoordinated, would probably wipe my arse with the mouthpiece.

also i have a rare condition that means i believe people can see me when they are on the phone. there are certain people that i cannot (by reason of their physical repulsiveness) speak to when I am naked.

[LittleWonder]

My God Harpo!! WHAT are youi wearing?

[harpomarx]

oh no

the computer too!

[Quattrocento]

Reading on the loo perfectly acceptable

Talking on the phone in the loo is totally revolting

[harpsichordcarrier]

I am with Alistair Sim: there are certain people who, as soon as they get on the phone, make my bowels move like lightening.
but yes I always hang up, mainly because what do you do with the phone while you wipe and wash

[alwaysnamechangeforaibu]

haven't read all of thread - only a selection of responses

why would anyone know that's what you were doing? as to where the phone is when you wipe then wash your hands don't you hold it between your shoulder and chin??

i'm not confessing to anything, just saying i don't think it's that unreasonable if you are truly and efficiently multi-tasking!!!

[harpsichordcarrier]

yes but if you held it between your shoulder and chin what if it fell in