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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the biggest culture shock you've experienced?

1000 replies

Sacredhandbag · 23/01/2025 16:20

Good or bad?

For me it was definitely the bike culture in Amsterdam - and I loved it.

But also, the over enthusiasm of shop workers in America, the silence in the streets in Japan, and the way Australians are so outdoorsy but can't handle the rain 😅

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 23/01/2025 23:00

Sidebeforeself · 23/01/2025 22:05

My experience was awful. Vendors would only speak to DH not to me. One told me not to disrespect my husband because I said I didn’t want to buy something. Arm gripped so hard it left bruises

We just got back from Marrakesh a few months ago. We stayed in the old city (medina). I was surprised I was directly spoken to often and addressed and hands shook as a women/. I found none of this poor behaviour and we went all over, to the marketers and new city. The tourist parts were the worst and tacky but otherwise it was an amazing experience.

I would say to be respectful and cover knees and shoulders. Those wearing tube tops in a Muslim country did gwt some strange looks but honestly it was just disrespectful. We got lost a few times and plenty of people came to help. Lovely, friendly warm people

Aftergloww · 23/01/2025 23:02

@Greyish2025 Portugal. So you’d think I’m used to my fair share of partying, but it’s a lot more paced than here.

MoonKiss · 23/01/2025 23:02

Thegoatliesdownonbroadway · 23/01/2025 23:00

People eating dogs in Korea, was back in the 80s

Restaurants in either Laos or Myanmar (forgotten which) with little cauldrons outside indicating that they serve dog. Fun fact: apparently black dogs taste nicest.

mathanxiety · 23/01/2025 23:05

CurlyhairedAssassin · 23/01/2025 20:33

You don't have subways? 🙄

There are many different classes of trains in the US as elsewhere. Amtrak (intercity and cross country) has loos. Commuter trains (regional) have loos - in my area anyway. Local trains (they're not all subway systems) do not. However, people sometimes pee in them all the same.

Sacredhandbag · 23/01/2025 23:06

Yougetmoreofwhatyoufocuson · 23/01/2025 19:15

The first time I landed in London on my own, (14) and made my way out of the airport and onto the underground, no one stared at me and I wasn’t groped or touched once. It was amazing.
I remember looking out the window of the train and goggling at how green and lush the countryside was, how fat the animals were in the fields, at the abundance of fruit and berries in the hedges and nobody taking any notice. I fell in love then and there and have loved it ever since.

Where did you come from?

OP posts:
Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 23/01/2025 23:10

Scammersarescum · 23/01/2025 22:31

I've been all over the place and places like India, Vietnam, Cambodia , the middle east have definitely felt different and eye opening but the only place I ever feel that is a true culture shock is the USA.

So many flags, as another poster pointed out so much Jesus. In Orlando you regularly see a crucifix in the sky created by a sign writing plane.

The bizarrely slavsh patriotism. Watching grown adults come to a complete halt and put their hands on their chests when the national anthem starts playing is arresting.

The terrible build quality of cars and sheer size of cars in the USA and the fact they are so fuel inefficient. The general complete lack of environmental awareness. Widespread use of single user plastics. Lots of polystyrene. Motels serving breakfasts on polystyrene plates. Single glazing in areas that rely heavily on air con. The general lack of design. Oven and kitchen appliances look huge and seriously out of date. I flew through stuttgart airport and miami airport in quick succession and miami just seemed so antiquated and utterly lacking in any style by comparison.

The way the TV news is a combination of alarmism and entertainment, but also when watching it you'd barely know any other country exists.

The TV adverts, there's so many, so frequently and they last so long and so many of them are for pharmaceuticals and they always have a disclaimer at the end read at breathtaking speed that usually says something like may cause debilitating wind, blindness and/or death.

The lack of food choices. So many carbon copy menus, chicken wings, burgers, tilapia, ribs, steaks. So little diversity of vegetables. The crazy portion sizes. The food often bring served luke warm. Having your bill shoved in your face when eating out, no you are not allowed to order a coffee and linger! Not that you'd want to hiven the volume that Americans converse at and the inevitable TV noise because so many restaurants have tvs.

How incredibly fat a lot of people are and i say that as a properly tubby bastard myself but watching parents pour packets of sugar into their kids ginormous cups of full sugar coke is utterly wild.

The crazy tipping culture. The faux friendliness of waiting staff compared to the general unfriendlinss of most people. The poor customer service when you're dealing with anyone who isnt tip dependent.

The misogyny, men really talk down to you in the USA. I've had a man run into me when jogging. He had diverted around a group of men into my path but thought I should shift and that's just one example of many. Shouldn't be surprised really given the lack of women's rights in the USA.

The toilet stalls, why are the gaps so high and the toilets so low? Being laughed at for asking where the toilet was and being told it was the bathroom. It wasn't. There was definitely no bath in there just bogs. And if there had been a bath in the USA it would have been weirdly shallow anyway

The insane consumerism. Watching people take suitcases to the boxing day sales is certainly different.

The total lack of social provision and care for others, just north of miami we saw some little benches by the beach, you had to ring a private company to rent them. God forbid the general populace might want to sit on a bench and enjoy their coastline. Unless you can pay for it, you get nothing. The poor are barely considered and are treated as barely human.

The way Americans are so class obsessed. They can't wait to size each other up in the social hierarchy. I was in munich recently and there was an NFL game on so lots of Americans The number of conversations we heard between Americans where they immediately told each other their jobs was eye popping.

The absolute inability to queue properly. So many of them jumped the queue at passport control at Munich airport. Seemingly oblivious to the hundreds of others waiting. Last time I was in the states I was queuing for a restaurant a young lady waltzed in past the very obvious queue and started telling the receptionist what size table she wanted. In the UK i think she would have probably pointed out that there were people alreadty waiting but no, the receptionist immediately started noting her details until I intervened and told her in no uncertain terms that she should wait her turn. In san francisco there were so many people jumping the queue to get on the cable cars i was surprised there wasn't a riot

The vocal rascism, last time in the states we heard an American loudly congratulating a hungarian on their lack of black population shortly after asking him where he was from. He looked as shocked as we were.

The poverty in some areas in mind blowing but also in general the infrastructure is in a shit state. Manhatten looked so shabby and dirty last time I was there and it stank of bins.

The American obsession with germs. Seeing apples individually plastic wrapped yet I have never seen people decimate public toilets in the way American women do. If you go in at the start of the day somewhere like a museum or a national parkv the toilets will be clean, but by the end of the dsy the floors will be covered with litter and tissue. Perhaps its always seen as someone else's job to pick up rather than do it yourself.

I had so many preconceived notions about the USA being this incredibly shiny, advanced, world leading country but every time I go it's such a shock just how sad and dysfunctional a place it seems and how me, me, me it all is..it is so different to Europe in really every way it really represents a proper culture shock.

I get this is your experience but the reasoning behind some of the things you point out is just wrong. ‘Shoving a bill in your face’ during a meal is because NA’s aren’t Europeans and generally don’t like to linger, shouldn’t Thats or ask for Theo bill and would probably complain if it didn’t come quickly.

Cars are fuel inefficient because they don’t have to be - fuel is exceptionally cheap comparably.

Slavish patriotism is wrong. It may not be popular but Americans are very proud to be American. Flying you glad in NA is very common - it’s the same in Canada.

Anyway, again it’s your experience but the cultural reasons are different if you are from there rather than an interpretation of the culture through British eyes.

mathanxiety · 23/01/2025 23:16

feellikeanalien · 23/01/2025 20:23

Visiting family in the US as a teenager in the mid 70s and going to McDonalds for breakfast and discovering root beer. There weren't any McDonalds in Scotland then.

Attending church with family on the 4th of July which also happened to be the bicentennial year and loads of people dressed up and standing with their hands on their hearts singing God Bless America. I also wondered why they were singing the wrong words to the British National Anthem!

As a 13 year old I thought that it was the most amazing place in the world and wanted to move there.

Also going to East Berlin at the time of the fall of the Berlin Wall and trying in vain to spend our Ostmarks as we couldn't take them back to the west. We couldn't even get a drink in a hotel bar as there was a queue. In the end we gave what we had left to two East Berliners who were coming back from the west. We then got round the corner and found a duty free shop.😁

Was it "My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, to thee I sing" that you remember? "God bless America" was penned by Irving Berlin and became popular in the 1930s and WW2.

I'd love to have stowed away in your luggage for your trip to East Berlin. A once in the history of the world moment there...

Masmavi · 23/01/2025 23:16

Mittens67 · 23/01/2025 19:39

I am not a big traveller but my biggest culture shock was my first visit to Liverpool with my boyfriend who later became my first husband.
He was a scouser and on arrival and especially my first night out on the town with his lovely mates I could not believe how friendly everybody was.
The weather might have been a lot colder but the people were a hundred times warmer.
It was lovely.

Same, first night out in Lancashire' with my cousin when I was a teen. Real contrast to the south of England where friends of friends would barely acknowledge each other.

Toseland · 23/01/2025 23:18

MorrisZapp · 23/01/2025 21:27

Nah, I'm going to need the names of those chip shops 😂

Leith Links on the way back to the campsite 1994!

mathanxiety · 23/01/2025 23:19

BunnyLake · 23/01/2025 20:02

The lack of pavements is insane. I stayed in a place near Boston and the entire neighbourhood had no pavements and there was no such thing as a bus stop (or a bus). I couldn't imagine the area I live in here to have no pavements anywhere. I don’t know how the more elderly managed their lives there. I couldn't live like that.

The elderly would drive or sell up and move into a retirement village/ home.

Nonstoprain · 23/01/2025 23:21

First time abroad-to Portugal, around 8…tuna toasties (had never heard of them and never tasted tuna that good before)

Dieppe with school at 11..breakfast of chocolate milk with croissant to dip in

Tunisia at 12/13, being confused by being followed around by men asking my dad if they could buy me for x amount of camels. Having to be warned away by an older teenage boy who broke into our holiday resort to basically stalk me

Greece at 18 with a boyfriend, the freedom of driving around on mopeds, the sun, food…it solidified it in my mind that I couldn’t live in the uk for much longer (moved abroad 5 years later)

India at 20, the colours, smells, extreme poverty and being ambushed in the market places. Having to run into a backstreet bar with my boyfriend and hide from so people circling us and following us. Being advised to cover up (I was wearing typical 20 year old clothing for on hols-denim shorts and vest top)

Morocco at 25, the completely insane driving, inability to drink alcohol and being conned a fair amount by others. Also being stared at a lot on the trains

Thailand..Bangkok and noodles for breakfast

Switzerland…the insane prices

NYC…the amazing food, customer service, constantly filled iced water, the compulsory tipping and a guy picking up our bags being extremely angry at us for not tipping him, it didn’t really cross our mind.

Amsterdam-the cafes and the stairs

Portugal-still find it weird I can get beer at a drive thru Mcds

JerrySprinter · 23/01/2025 23:21

Greyish2025 · 23/01/2025 19:02

I actually don’t think you are from the North East at all

Were you familiar with ALL of the north east in the 80's?

Masmavi · 23/01/2025 23:22

Marble10 · 23/01/2025 20:29

The sheer size of Turkish weddings.
1000 people - normal. Everyone you've ever spoken to, your parents have ever spoken to, everyone. Plus the fact you have to provide food and drink for this amount of people (albeit you make your money back as cash gifts are a must).

My mother in law's long-time neighbour's son brought his wife and children. I'd never even met his mother! 🤣

Nonstoprain · 23/01/2025 23:23

*Warned about an older teenage boy

feellikeanalien · 23/01/2025 23:28

mathanxiety · 23/01/2025 23:16

Was it "My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, to thee I sing" that you remember? "God bless America" was penned by Irving Berlin and became popular in the 1930s and WW2.

I'd love to have stowed away in your luggage for your trip to East Berlin. A once in the history of the world moment there...

They sang both. As a teenager I found it all rather embarrassing,

I am so glad we went to East Berlin. It was an amazing experience . We drove and I remember at the East German border seeing all the Trabants queuing to come across to the west. My ex-h was convinced we were being followed as we drove over to Berlin. (we were in a British registered car) We had to stop as the car was playing up a bit so we pulled into a lay-by on the autobahn and a car pulled in behind us and just sat there.

It really was a moment in history.

Sacredhandbag · 23/01/2025 23:33

NameChangedForThis1985 · 23/01/2025 19:40

Absolutely Japan. It's interesting to see a lot of people have said about the people being so incredibly polite and couldn't do enough for you - as a young solo female tourist I have to say I have never ever felt so bewildered and ignored as I did over there. Even trying to order food in Osaka I was met with completely blank looks - even when gesticulating to the pictures (I knew never to point). I did learn from a tour guide later on that apparently I am the complete opposite in every way to the standards of beauty they have over there, so it could have just been because I'm ugly AND English😂

Also, the NOISE - I'm autistic and at times it was almost painful - whilst it's an experience to hear the different jingles for each train station, the piped bird noises in the subway, the three different tones at the same time for crossing the road, and the non-stop singing jingles in Don Quixote and the konbini.... it soon gets incredibly tiring!

I have to laugh at those who got a shock re Northern girls and their lack of coats though - I'm nearly 40 now and still won't wear one unless I'm in a restaurant (sheer lack of cloakrooms is part of the reason). I'm a small North East town girl and remember going out for my 18th in the middle of December, in the snow, in a tiny mini dress, heels and not much else, not even a bra 😂

I wouldn't say they are a "can't do enough for you" culture, just an incredibly efficient and considerate of others. They seem to love rules and process and organisation. If you are taking a photo, people will stop and wait for you and then carry on. In the UK people will barely notice you are taking one and just wander in front of you with their head in the clouds or they will know and they simply don't care.
Obviously it's a generalisation of both cultures.

OP posts:
Jaybee33 · 23/01/2025 23:34

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 23/01/2025 22:55

Non tantrumming well behaved children on continental Europe

Oh this old bollocks always gets trotted out. I am half French, half Spanish and I can assure you we have many tantrumming, badly behaved children in both countries.

andIsaid · 23/01/2025 23:39

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 23/01/2025 23:00

We just got back from Marrakesh a few months ago. We stayed in the old city (medina). I was surprised I was directly spoken to often and addressed and hands shook as a women/. I found none of this poor behaviour and we went all over, to the marketers and new city. The tourist parts were the worst and tacky but otherwise it was an amazing experience.

I would say to be respectful and cover knees and shoulders. Those wearing tube tops in a Muslim country did gwt some strange looks but honestly it was just disrespectful. We got lost a few times and plenty of people came to help. Lovely, friendly warm people

Why is it that people who have a decent experience in Marrakesh always "suggest" to the women who did not "Dress/cover yourself/be respectful"

The majority of women under a certain age who go there have terrible experiences not because they are not respectful but because the local men are bloody appalling.

North Africa in general is not a great place for young, white women to travel to.

ilovesushi · 23/01/2025 23:39

When I moved to southern Italy in my late teens and I got constant hassle from men. Learned to walk around with a stony faced expression and make no eye contact. In SW America, people were totally incredulous that I wanted to walk anywhere unless it was hiking or canyoning. Places are definitely built on a scale that accommodates cars not pedestrians.

Lack of duvets in Italy was a complete pain. All that origami with your sheets. I am talking a while back so maybe the duvet has reached Italy now.

HashtagShitShop · 23/01/2025 23:40

London.

I live in the back end of nowhere in one of the countries most deprived areas. We are literally the end of the line for local trains, any further and it's into the sea. Our little quiet town doesn't have uber, bolt or anything similar. Our busses and trains stop at 10pm or just after and we don't have trams. We don't have big chain restaurants outside of the obvious like McDonalds, not even a Nandos. Our shopping center is essentially emptying itself through high rents but no maintenance and no footfall, our 'poshest' shop there (and in the entire town) is M and S. It closes at 5 every day other than Sunday when it's 4 obviously. It would take approx an hour to walk from one side of the town to the other.

My first London visit was when I was into my 20s, it was my first big city visit too. It was so overwhelming and big, loud, busy with stuff happening everywhere you looked well into the night and so many public transport options. I've been a few more times since and visited various parts of it but it still remains overwhelming

phoenixrosehere · 23/01/2025 23:45

CarolinaInTheMorning · 23/01/2025 22:49

It appears that we have now shifted from culture shock, which I think of as being surprised at how differently things sometimes are in other countries, to full on bashing of other cultures and people.

It always does and often posters went to a small part and decided to generalise the whole country, but if you did the same to them, they likely would be mad.

SnackSnack · 23/01/2025 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

@squidgie Thank you 🤣 Do you care to elaborate on your assessment or are you going to leave me hanging?

Aftergloww · 23/01/2025 23:47

@Jaybee33 to be fair I do feel like here they let tantrums slide a lot more. Little Sebastian wouldn’t be traumatised hearing a firm, harsh no for once in his life.

Winterscoming77 · 23/01/2025 23:49

Bangla Road in Phuket was absolutely wild I’m from a small village and that was my first trip out of Europe

New Orleans was like living in a movie, as was NYC.

Vegas just loved it so in your face and unapologetic

Aftergloww · 23/01/2025 23:50

@andIsaid my DD has traveled in Egypt and Morocco extensively on her own and so far no issues, she’s made local friends along the way and said 99% of men were extremely respectful.

Marrakesh doesn’t seem to have a bad rep tho, probably due to being so touristy.

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