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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the biggest culture shock you've experienced?

1000 replies

Sacredhandbag · 23/01/2025 16:20

Good or bad?

For me it was definitely the bike culture in Amsterdam - and I loved it.

But also, the over enthusiasm of shop workers in America, the silence in the streets in Japan, and the way Australians are so outdoorsy but can't handle the rain 😅

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Sidebeforeself · 23/01/2025 22:05

TheFlyingHorse · 23/01/2025 19:51

I'm going to Marrakesh for the first time next month and I'm worried now! Were you alone? I'm going with DH and wondering if being with a man might make a difference.

My experience was awful. Vendors would only speak to DH not to me. One told me not to disrespect my husband because I said I didn’t want to buy something. Arm gripped so hard it left bruises

Havanananana · 23/01/2025 22:05

Notonyourjelly · 23/01/2025 21:50

In the shopping centre lifts, people were employed to press the button for the floor you needed to go to and they sat on a stool next to the buttons all day.

This used to be very common in shops in the UK until the 1960s or so. The lift operators were often people with disabilities.

Posh department stores in the UK cities had "lift girls" and "lift boys" well into the 1970s. These pressed the buttons (and sometimes opened and closed the safety doors or grilles) and called out which department was on which floor of the store - as evidenced by the theme tune to "Are You Being Served"....

Ground floor: perfumery
Stationery and leather goods
Wigs and Haberdashery
Kitchenware and food.
Going up! [which told you the direction of the lift]

First floor: Telephones
Gents' ready-made suits
Shirts, socks, ties, hats
Underwear and shoes.
Going up!

["Telephones" meant the location of the public telephone boxes, as telephone handsets were only supplied by the GPO and this was before mobile phones existed.]

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz6wvKUsP6M

Here4thechocs · 23/01/2025 22:05

Relocating to the UK in 2010 from Africa , where if I invite you to a party , MY party , it’s cos I, can see to it your foods, drinks and everything else is taken care of by ME, the celebrant , your host & you aren’t expected to pay for your own food, at MY party. I bet you know where this is going ….

I got invited to a birthday dinner, I had bought her gifts and well, sat down to eat. After all said and done , imagine my shock when I saw slips going round and people calculating what they ate and drank 🤣🤣. Of course I never went anywhere without my dr card and thankfully, I wasn’t and still not a drinker so from memory , I think I only had to pay £18 or so but I was “shook” ! 🤣🤣.

lessons since learnt , of course but I’d never be found hosting a party like that. We simply don’t do it.

Purplebunnie · 23/01/2025 22:06

Theeyeballsinthesky · 23/01/2025 17:24

Going to Paris aged 16 (so 35 odd years ago) staying in a youth hostel and being given a bowl of coffee and a roll to dip in it for breakfast

I remember my French penfriend when she came to stay dipping her toast with blackcurrant jam into her coffee and asking why I didn't do the same. I probably had butter on my toast so it would have been a bit bleurgh

loonyloo · 23/01/2025 22:06

Applesonthelawn · 23/01/2025 18:04

The way men treat women in other countries.
Not saying it's great here btw.
Argentina - you literally get followed down the road like a dog in heat. It's absolutely feral. And they talk to you and expect you to actually go to one of those hotels where they rent by the hour. I absolutely don't look the type (whatever that is).
Also the way you are treated in places like Egypt.
I was offered a job in the Middle East on about an eighth of my UK salary "because you are married and your husband will look after you". No thanks.
I could go on.

What part of Argentina? I spent a lot of time in Buenos Aires a few years ago and never had anyone follow me, not even walking home in the early hours of the morning. I stayed near at the Congreso end of Balvanera and mainly spent time in San Telmo or Palermo and the areas in between. Not denying your experience, just wondering if it was a different city or a different part of BA

EaglesWings · 23/01/2025 22:06

Going up to Leeds in the early 90’s for university and seeing how different the people were - they’d say hello, start a friendly conversation with you, form an orderly queue at the bus stop. I loved my time up there.

Greyish2025 · 23/01/2025 22:09

mintgreensoftlilac · 23/01/2025 20:23

Yeah I'm really fascinated by the not using knives thing. I feel like here in the UK it is bad manners to just use a fork. How do they eat something like a piece of chicken that would need to be cut up?

I think they cut it up then put the knife to the side and eat with a fork,

Arraminta · 23/01/2025 22:14

Newsenmum · 23/01/2025 16:45

Being grabbed and stared at in turkey, even when not wearing particularly revealing clothes (imo).

Yep me too. Went to Bodrum with DH (then DP) when we graduated. Okay, I did have waist length blonde hair but always dressed conservatively. But I was constantly approached, grabbed, heckled and whistled at by local men. DH had to escort me everywhere, even to the loo and back. Luckily DH was a rugby prop and built like the proverbial brick shit house, but he spent the whole holiday squaring up to the local men. Just exhausting.

Mopsy567 · 23/01/2025 22:17

Italy.

I was so excited to visit the historical sites there, but my God, the sheer rudeness and racism of some of the people in Rome! I'd never experienced anything like it. People giving me dirty looks for just being on public transport or walking down tbe street and shop assistants serving all the other white people before me. It was such a disappointment. I was grateful to get back to the UK to be honest.

loonyloo · 23/01/2025 22:19

loonyloo · 23/01/2025 22:06

What part of Argentina? I spent a lot of time in Buenos Aires a few years ago and never had anyone follow me, not even walking home in the early hours of the morning. I stayed near at the Congreso end of Balvanera and mainly spent time in San Telmo or Palermo and the areas in between. Not denying your experience, just wondering if it was a different city or a different part of BA

Actually, just to correct myself clearly an idiot, now that I think of it, a few years prior I'd spent a few days in Bariloche and I remember being mystified at the local men hissing at me to get my attention. But I don't recall ever getting followed. Generally I find Spain far worse for cat-calling than Latin America (I've spent a lot of time in both)

Greyish2025 · 23/01/2025 22:22

Aftergloww · 23/01/2025 20:08

Nothing could have prepared me to the drinking and drug culture in the UK. The way it’s treated so casually is baffling. I’ve never seen anything more depressing.

Also no one going for walks after dinner.

where are you from?

Pussycat22 · 23/01/2025 22:26

Snowfall11 · 23/01/2025 17:11

Yeah, that’s unreasonable. I would kind of hide in the corner and do it quietly on the subway if I had to.

Id've blown my nose even more loudly!!!!

Ginmonkeyagain · 23/01/2025 22:29

How run down and old fashioned a lot of public transport is in America. I still think everything in America is bigger and better than here, but their trains and metropolitan transport systems suck - badly.

whynotwhatknot · 23/01/2025 22:29

CarolinaInTheMorning · 23/01/2025 17:39

Americans don't really use knives.

We do use knives to eat, but not in the same way as in the UK.

how do you use them

Papyrophile · 23/01/2025 22:30

I was surprised when I arrived in the US that I instinctively understood how to travel around NYC better after on my first excursion than people who had lived in NJ all their lives. I was horrified by the bathrooms in Max's Kansas City (no locking doors) on my first night out.

In Abidjian, Cote d'Ivoire, I was astonished by the huge snails that covered the surfaces in food shops and were for sale as food, and thrilled that every one complimented my 'posh' (schoolgirl) French.

Londonrach1 · 23/01/2025 22:30

Instanbul! The food, people, sights....the mosques were stunning and I never felt so safe as a female. I'm returning! It's my favourite city I've visited so far and I'm so glad I visited it.

Scammersarescum · 23/01/2025 22:31

I've been all over the place and places like India, Vietnam, Cambodia , the middle east have definitely felt different and eye opening but the only place I ever feel that is a true culture shock is the USA.

So many flags, as another poster pointed out so much Jesus. In Orlando you regularly see a crucifix in the sky created by a sign writing plane.

The bizarrely slavsh patriotism. Watching grown adults come to a complete halt and put their hands on their chests when the national anthem starts playing is arresting.

The terrible build quality of cars and sheer size of cars in the USA and the fact they are so fuel inefficient. The general complete lack of environmental awareness. Widespread use of single user plastics. Lots of polystyrene. Motels serving breakfasts on polystyrene plates. Single glazing in areas that rely heavily on air con. The general lack of design. Oven and kitchen appliances look huge and seriously out of date. I flew through stuttgart airport and miami airport in quick succession and miami just seemed so antiquated and utterly lacking in any style by comparison.

The way the TV news is a combination of alarmism and entertainment, but also when watching it you'd barely know any other country exists.

The TV adverts, there's so many, so frequently and they last so long and so many of them are for pharmaceuticals and they always have a disclaimer at the end read at breathtaking speed that usually says something like may cause debilitating wind, blindness and/or death.

The lack of food choices. So many carbon copy menus, chicken wings, burgers, tilapia, ribs, steaks. So little diversity of vegetables. The crazy portion sizes. The food often bring served luke warm. Having your bill shoved in your face when eating out, no you are not allowed to order a coffee and linger! Not that you'd want to hiven the volume that Americans converse at and the inevitable TV noise because so many restaurants have tvs.

How incredibly fat a lot of people are and i say that as a properly tubby bastard myself but watching parents pour packets of sugar into their kids ginormous cups of full sugar coke is utterly wild.

The crazy tipping culture. The faux friendliness of waiting staff compared to the general unfriendlinss of most people. The poor customer service when you're dealing with anyone who isnt tip dependent.

The misogyny, men really talk down to you in the USA. I've had a man run into me when jogging. He had diverted around a group of men into my path but thought I should shift and that's just one example of many. Shouldn't be surprised really given the lack of women's rights in the USA.

The toilet stalls, why are the gaps so high and the toilets so low? Being laughed at for asking where the toilet was and being told it was the bathroom. It wasn't. There was definitely no bath in there just bogs. And if there had been a bath in the USA it would have been weirdly shallow anyway

The insane consumerism. Watching people take suitcases to the boxing day sales is certainly different.

The total lack of social provision and care for others, just north of miami we saw some little benches by the beach, you had to ring a private company to rent them. God forbid the general populace might want to sit on a bench and enjoy their coastline. Unless you can pay for it, you get nothing. The poor are barely considered and are treated as barely human.

The way Americans are so class obsessed. They can't wait to size each other up in the social hierarchy. I was in munich recently and there was an NFL game on so lots of Americans The number of conversations we heard between Americans where they immediately told each other their jobs was eye popping.

The absolute inability to queue properly. So many of them jumped the queue at passport control at Munich airport. Seemingly oblivious to the hundreds of others waiting. Last time I was in the states I was queuing for a restaurant a young lady waltzed in past the very obvious queue and started telling the receptionist what size table she wanted. In the UK i think she would have probably pointed out that there were people alreadty waiting but no, the receptionist immediately started noting her details until I intervened and told her in no uncertain terms that she should wait her turn. In san francisco there were so many people jumping the queue to get on the cable cars i was surprised there wasn't a riot

The vocal rascism, last time in the states we heard an American loudly congratulating a hungarian on their lack of black population shortly after asking him where he was from. He looked as shocked as we were.

The poverty in some areas in mind blowing but also in general the infrastructure is in a shit state. Manhatten looked so shabby and dirty last time I was there and it stank of bins.

The American obsession with germs. Seeing apples individually plastic wrapped yet I have never seen people decimate public toilets in the way American women do. If you go in at the start of the day somewhere like a museum or a national parkv the toilets will be clean, but by the end of the dsy the floors will be covered with litter and tissue. Perhaps its always seen as someone else's job to pick up rather than do it yourself.

I had so many preconceived notions about the USA being this incredibly shiny, advanced, world leading country but every time I go it's such a shock just how sad and dysfunctional a place it seems and how me, me, me it all is..it is so different to Europe in really every way it really represents a proper culture shock.

BruhWhy · 23/01/2025 22:38

Has anyone mentioned how much Italians love kids yet? That was so interesting for me. Everywhere we went, people said hello to our children, a sweet old lady stroked DD's face and called her beautiful, they were welcomed everywhere we went and interacted with so warmly.

We were there for a wedding and stayed in a big communal villa with all the wedding guests, and I was speaking to the owner about this and she was floored by how I described the UK in comparison.

Snowfall11 · 23/01/2025 22:40

Scammersarescum · 23/01/2025 22:31

I've been all over the place and places like India, Vietnam, Cambodia , the middle east have definitely felt different and eye opening but the only place I ever feel that is a true culture shock is the USA.

So many flags, as another poster pointed out so much Jesus. In Orlando you regularly see a crucifix in the sky created by a sign writing plane.

The bizarrely slavsh patriotism. Watching grown adults come to a complete halt and put their hands on their chests when the national anthem starts playing is arresting.

The terrible build quality of cars and sheer size of cars in the USA and the fact they are so fuel inefficient. The general complete lack of environmental awareness. Widespread use of single user plastics. Lots of polystyrene. Motels serving breakfasts on polystyrene plates. Single glazing in areas that rely heavily on air con. The general lack of design. Oven and kitchen appliances look huge and seriously out of date. I flew through stuttgart airport and miami airport in quick succession and miami just seemed so antiquated and utterly lacking in any style by comparison.

The way the TV news is a combination of alarmism and entertainment, but also when watching it you'd barely know any other country exists.

The TV adverts, there's so many, so frequently and they last so long and so many of them are for pharmaceuticals and they always have a disclaimer at the end read at breathtaking speed that usually says something like may cause debilitating wind, blindness and/or death.

The lack of food choices. So many carbon copy menus, chicken wings, burgers, tilapia, ribs, steaks. So little diversity of vegetables. The crazy portion sizes. The food often bring served luke warm. Having your bill shoved in your face when eating out, no you are not allowed to order a coffee and linger! Not that you'd want to hiven the volume that Americans converse at and the inevitable TV noise because so many restaurants have tvs.

How incredibly fat a lot of people are and i say that as a properly tubby bastard myself but watching parents pour packets of sugar into their kids ginormous cups of full sugar coke is utterly wild.

The crazy tipping culture. The faux friendliness of waiting staff compared to the general unfriendlinss of most people. The poor customer service when you're dealing with anyone who isnt tip dependent.

The misogyny, men really talk down to you in the USA. I've had a man run into me when jogging. He had diverted around a group of men into my path but thought I should shift and that's just one example of many. Shouldn't be surprised really given the lack of women's rights in the USA.

The toilet stalls, why are the gaps so high and the toilets so low? Being laughed at for asking where the toilet was and being told it was the bathroom. It wasn't. There was definitely no bath in there just bogs. And if there had been a bath in the USA it would have been weirdly shallow anyway

The insane consumerism. Watching people take suitcases to the boxing day sales is certainly different.

The total lack of social provision and care for others, just north of miami we saw some little benches by the beach, you had to ring a private company to rent them. God forbid the general populace might want to sit on a bench and enjoy their coastline. Unless you can pay for it, you get nothing. The poor are barely considered and are treated as barely human.

The way Americans are so class obsessed. They can't wait to size each other up in the social hierarchy. I was in munich recently and there was an NFL game on so lots of Americans The number of conversations we heard between Americans where they immediately told each other their jobs was eye popping.

The absolute inability to queue properly. So many of them jumped the queue at passport control at Munich airport. Seemingly oblivious to the hundreds of others waiting. Last time I was in the states I was queuing for a restaurant a young lady waltzed in past the very obvious queue and started telling the receptionist what size table she wanted. In the UK i think she would have probably pointed out that there were people alreadty waiting but no, the receptionist immediately started noting her details until I intervened and told her in no uncertain terms that she should wait her turn. In san francisco there were so many people jumping the queue to get on the cable cars i was surprised there wasn't a riot

The vocal rascism, last time in the states we heard an American loudly congratulating a hungarian on their lack of black population shortly after asking him where he was from. He looked as shocked as we were.

The poverty in some areas in mind blowing but also in general the infrastructure is in a shit state. Manhatten looked so shabby and dirty last time I was there and it stank of bins.

The American obsession with germs. Seeing apples individually plastic wrapped yet I have never seen people decimate public toilets in the way American women do. If you go in at the start of the day somewhere like a museum or a national parkv the toilets will be clean, but by the end of the dsy the floors will be covered with litter and tissue. Perhaps its always seen as someone else's job to pick up rather than do it yourself.

I had so many preconceived notions about the USA being this incredibly shiny, advanced, world leading country but every time I go it's such a shock just how sad and dysfunctional a place it seems and how me, me, me it all is..it is so different to Europe in really every way it really represents a proper culture shock.

I have never understood why so many restaurants in the US have god damned TVs flashing in your face.

purpletap · 23/01/2025 22:46

China. There was a toilet that was not just a hole in the ground, but there was a sloped trough running under all the cubicles so waste was floating past underneath you. The stench was unbearable.

And elsewhere in the area we visited a place with toilets on the other extreme, with fancy buttons which did different things!

Seeing people washing their clothes in the dirty river, minutes away from designer shops.

The things they sold in jars in the supermarket!

Being treated like a celebrity: I was stopped by many people who wanted their photo with me. I’m pretty sure I don’t look like any celebrity! There was a language barrier as none of them spoke English but I’m guessing it was because I’m blonde.

I loved it though - have visited more than once!

CharlotteStreetW1 · 23/01/2025 22:48

Serenityandsmiles · 23/01/2025 20:44

British hospitals. My first shift as an RN, I walked onto a ward, and was gobsmacked it was the old nightingale style wards. My infection control background died that day. I very nearly quit when I saw the bedpans weren't single use😱 Also the old fashioned uniforms and titles of sister and matron.

Had you been time travelling?

CarolinaInTheMorning · 23/01/2025 22:49

It appears that we have now shifted from culture shock, which I think of as being surprised at how differently things sometimes are in other countries, to full on bashing of other cultures and people.

squidgie · 23/01/2025 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 23/01/2025 22:55

Non tantrumming well behaved children on continental Europe

Thegoatliesdownonbroadway · 23/01/2025 23:00

People eating dogs in Korea, was back in the 80s

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