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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Deep plane facelift or age gracefully and embrace the sag

16 replies

Everythingisnumbersnow · 23/01/2025 14:08

I have never been that good looking so it's a weird thing to bother me but it does

Yes with that money I could do some much better things and no one is going to think I'm younger and also who cares

Yabu - no facelift, work on your inner self
Yanbu - snip snip

(I'm 43)

OP posts:
MsPug · 23/01/2025 14:13

Yanbu!!!! I've seen some amazing results. It's like north of 50k though.

Everythingisnumbersnow · 23/01/2025 14:56

MsPug · 23/01/2025 14:13

Yanbu!!!! I've seen some amazing results. It's like north of 50k though.

I know, plus probably eyes etc. Still!

OP posts:
MadKittenWoman · 23/01/2025 16:02

Fillers are much cheaper!

Whachamacallit · 23/01/2025 16:10

Give yourself some time op. Aging hits hard psychologically in our culture and even though I’ve never really cared much about my appearance I’ve still cried a couple of times at the mirror.

Try as I might, I can’t bring myself to get needles in my face or let someone take a knife to me. But the awful sense of disconnection with my reflection passes.

There’s no judgement if this is something you’d like to do and have the means to, but don’t feel you have to.

Kattuccino · 23/01/2025 16:14

YABU!

Age isn't something to be ashamed of. Your appearance is one tiny part of who you are. I'm 47 and haven't ever had botox or fillers or anything at all. I still feel beautiful even if the mirror reflects some wrinkles and a few grey hairs.

I don't have £50k to spend on my face though 🤣

user989 · 23/01/2025 16:15

at 43 there are other things you should be doing before resorting to surgery. It's way too young and you'll be wanting another at 60.

Thethuthinang · 23/01/2025 16:26

Try face yoga first!

Anotherparkingthread · 23/01/2025 16:41

A lot of posters suggesting you will want another in 20 years are missing the point, who wants to spend 20 years looking in the mirror being unhappy with their face? What if they wish they had done it sooner?!

Facelifts especially deep plane ones are also preventitive. Surgery has come a long long long way.

Id say go for it if you can afford it and can find the right surgeon. Do research. Speak to people who have experience, who have has surgery.

I have had a few things done and honestly wish I'd done it much much sooner.

RitaFromTheRanch · 23/01/2025 17:46

It won't be 50k if you go to Nords. I'd do it!

Jackiepumpkinhead · 23/01/2025 19:52

Definitely doesn’t cost £50k but I think generally 43 is a bit young for any big surgical procedures. Although, I would have one, when I feel that I need it (45yo).

ChristmasFluff · 23/01/2025 20:24

MadKittenWoman · 23/01/2025 16:02

Fillers are much cheaper!

But nowhere near as effective as a facelift for what the OP is describing. Plus they look awful and at 43 will age her.

OP, I would never do botox or fillers, but I always intended to have a facelift once my son hit 21 (couldn't justify any added risk of dying before then). By the time he did, I no longer cared what I looked like.

When you love someone, they look beautiful to you, and that also applies when you love yourself.

Also, don't do it so young anyway, because you probably don't need it. Take a look at facial exercises on YouTube - they are brilliant for sag. Also great for skin texture.

Traceysgoingtobelivid · 23/01/2025 20:36

I definitely want at least a lower face lift and neck lift before I hit 60 in 3 years, it’s been incredibly hard seeing my face fall off it’s scaffolding since menopause hit, it’s actually shocked me as I’ve always been the one people comment on on looking younger than my years and if I’m honest I always thought ‘the sag’ would never happen to me, how wrong I was! I hate seeing my once taught neck and jawline hanging off me, life was so easy up to 50 I looked fabulous and I want to look fabulous at 60, the sag needs to be banished.

corvidconvo · 23/01/2025 20:46

It may sound flippant, but my solution to aging has been to spend less time looking in the mirror. There are more interesting things to do and see than my own face in the glass, and I think the world would be a better place if cosmetic surgery were the preserve of people who genuinely need it to function or after disfiguring events like burns or accidents.

Notmyregularusrname · 23/01/2025 20:53

Thethuthinang · 23/01/2025 16:26

Try face yoga first!

I do agree with this! You need to take it seriously and really work at it though. It won’t take wrinkles away but it can make your facial structure look AMAZING and hold things up a lot more, which is the main thing that makes people look bad (brows and eyelids, jowls).

If you are considering an actual lift, absolutely try yoga first. But if you are considering eg Botox for deep lines, it won’t affect that the same way.

stanleypops66 · 23/01/2025 20:56

Have you looked into threading- a non surgical facelift. Might be more appropriate at your age.

Catquest · 08/10/2025 21:55

Stable weight
Nutritious diet
Lots of nuts, good quality meat, cheese, eggs, complex grains, berries, I cannot emphasise enough that you should eat well
Water
Green tea
HRT
Fish oil
No booze/ fags/ vaping
Sleep
Manage stress

Facial exercises/ Face Yoga
Tretoin
Facial toner
These are 6 month minimum but stick at it.

Im 5 months in and someone told me I had beautiful skin the other day😊
Now I do have some chin going on but I feel much better about my skin in general

Im also going to say it, I've never seen a RL person who has had a FL who looked good.
They look like a 50/ 60 year old who has had a face-lift.
Don't forget that celebrities/ influencers have a whole load of help from MUA, Hairdressers and filters.
Im making the best of what I've got, keeping fit ,active and enjoying life .

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