To want to stay during my daughter's speech and language therapy?

[mamariamama]

My daughter is three and has a mild stutter. I don’t know if it’s just a phase or something more permanent, but we decided to start speech and language therapy (SLT) just in case. Since she’s bilingual, we had to find a therapist who speaks our language, which wasn’t easy in the UK. Eventually, we found someone qualified who seems good with kids, though she’s a bit firm and direct with me as the parent. The sessions are held at her house.

Here’s the issue: she insists my daughter needs to be alone for the sessions and has basically told me to “go get a coffee” for the hour. But she lives in a super residential area, I don’t drive, and we take a taxi to get there (she knows this). So my options are to sit outside in the freezing January weather or spend an extra £10-15 on taxis just to go find somewhere to wait, plus whatever a coffee costs, and rush the coffee as by the time I've found a taxi, reached a coffee shop, ordered etc, it's time to pick my daughter up. She’s let me sit on her sofa before but was clearly not happy about it.

AIBU to feel a bit put out by this? I get that some kids do better without a parent there, but surely she could be a little more understanding of the fact that I literally have nowhere else to go? Would it be unreasonable to push back on this a bit?

Have you actually asked if you can sit in her living room?

I would have thought for safeguarding reasons, you'd need to be there. I'm sure someone else on here will be able to advise you regarding child protection legislation.
If it were my child, I'd insist on staying.

I don’t like the fact that you say she is “firm” with you as the parent. You are her paying customer. It sounds like she has tried to assert some sort of dominance from the start. Now you are leaving your tiny child alone with her even though you are not comfortable with it.

Come on OP. In the nicest possible way, you need to stop this now and start really looking out for your child. This type of dynamic is just a no, and it’s your job as a parent to put boundaries in place, be firm and not to trust strangers who are pushy about wanting time alone with your child.

Yes, and I did sit her in her living room one session but she seemed really put out by me doing this, said it's "fine just for this session" as really it's better if she child is left to it, and the only reason she agreed is because my 3 year old was (understandably) horrified by the suggestion that mum would have to leave

Honestly, that would give me weird vibes and I certainly wouldn’t be leaving my child with her.

We've done ot and speech therapy with my 3 year old and I've never ever been asked to leave the therapist alone with my child. No way would I do it . You need to find someone else.

I had SLT sessions with my youngest when she was about 6 years old due to a lisp and her pronunciation of certain sounds. I personally wouldn’t be leaving my 3yo in a house for an hour with a stranger. Our sessions were actually online as (very luckily) I found out I was able to avail of sessions through my health insurance. Our therapist involved me in the whole session as it was only an hour a week but I needed to learn the skills and games to be able to work with her the remainder of the time.

Im expert but it very much seemed about the proper formation of sounds which I’m sure would be applicable to any language

Sounds very odd never had a parent asked not to attend. As your paying are you sure it's not just about money for her? Have you seen a HV for their opinion on her speech...stuttering is a normal phase and I would think more common in dual language...but not sure...

Please, please, don't go back! Massive safeguarding issues! Also, you don't even know who can show up at the house during the time you're not there. I'd also flag it (but I don't know to which body though).

My ds had a speech therapist for about 10 sessions when he was 3. She came to our home, and I was fully expected to be present to support him. I wasn't involved except to sometimes encourage him. It was helpful for me to see the techniques. I wouldn't have left him alone I don't think.

Has she experience with this age group? Does she normally work in early years?

Honestly OP I'd throw this one back and try again. This is quite frankly an incredibly worrying attitude towards you being present at these sessions with your 3 year old. My DNeice has been to various private and NHS SLTs and my sister or BIL are present at every session, as you would expect. You're basically being asked to drop off your toddler at a complete stranger's house for an hour and leave them to it.

Whatever benefit you think is there from her speaking the other language is completely nullified by the fact she clearly pays little to no attention to safeguarding advice or won't listen to you. This is not a connection that will help your DD in the long run.

What? This is very bizarre. I would not put up with this. YANBU at all.

Same here. I get that an older child may not want their parents there but this is a 3 year old!

In a similar vein to other posters, at this age, the visit with the therapist should 100% be including the parent so that they are confident in continuing the therapy at home. Watching videos or following info sheets is not enough. My son was around 3/4 when we followed the Lidcombe Program and therapy sessions absolutely included me.

Not acceptable at all. 3 years old is far too young to be left in the home of a complete stranger. What if she gets upset or needs the toilet?
Have you seen evidence of this person's qualifications and membership of professional bodies?

Are you certain this person is fully qualified and has the relevant legalities sorted such as insurance, membership of professional bodies etc.?

I would not leave a 3 year old alone in someones house. I really don't think you should attend again.

I wouldn't leave a 3 Yr old alone . When my child did speech therapy I sat in every session and learned from the interactions how to follow up at home . Is the therapist registered ?

All children should have a chaperone which is usually their parent. This does not sound right at all OP and I definitely would be remaining in the room or finding another therapist.

I worked with children's speech and language therapy teams in the NHS and they have lots of bilingual children coming to their clinic. No problem at all, they are used to it and do not need to speak the same language. They can also book an interpreter if needed although this is usually only to be able to communicate with the parent.

I think it’s the HCPC.

I would never leave a child that young with someone who is basically a stranger. So many potential safe guarding issues!
If she is firm with you, I wonder how firm or unpleasant she will be with your child.
I paid for a SLT, she was amazing, came to my house and involved me in the games they played and made it all a fun experience. Time to move on.

I’m a music teacher, not an SLT, but with young children I always ask parents to stay for the first lesson and after that they’re welcome to either sit in, or wait outside the room (the door has a window in so they can see/hear) depending on what they and the child want. It’s basic safeguarding. Trust your instincts and try to find another therapist, I think - the language shouldn’t matter, their skills and rapport with you both (and willingness to involve you in the process and be open) are most important. 3 year olds don’t necessarily have the communication skills to be able to tell you if a person is doing something inappropriate or making them feel uncomfortable, that would be my biggest worry if you can’t see what’s going on.

Absolutely not to leaving a 3 year old alone with a stranger. What are you thinking?! That's pure madness!

We had the same at that age (was temporary- wanted to speak faster than able to). Out SLT never asked us to leave the room, in fact involved us in the activities and what we could/should do at home

ditch her; we live in England, do it on English only