About the reaction to taking a sick day yesterday?

[Celia24]

I started a job last summer and haven’t been off sick since then.

Yesterday morning I woke up and then let my manager know I had to take the day off. I also said I would try to check in later. She said rest up, kindly cancelled a meeting and I slept until 3pm. I felt really awful.

This morning she said I should have told them if I couldn’t join a meeting (which another team member was on, therefore cover anyway) and that I should have ensured a piece of work was covered (a piece of work I had told her about plus the deadline). And that I should have checked in later like I said I would.

In this moment I feel upset and unsupported.

If you were off sick you shouldn't have said you'd "check in later" because you were off sick.
Tell them you needed to sleep because you were UNWELL and unless they go on about it just forget about it.
Next time you are ill just phone in sick and don't say you will "check in".

@Needmorelego youre right, I shot myself in the foot with that one.

but really, I told her I had to sleep all day and she ignored that. As a manager she has a duty of care and I don’t expect to be dragged over the coals the one day I am off.

@Celia24 hopefully because this was a one off your manager will soon get over it 🙂
Hope you feel better today.

Manager sounds like an arse.

But you said you'd check in later and you didn't, so that makes it harder to argue she was the 100% the unreasonable one.

The thing is, with a duty of care doesn't come mind-reading skills. In my company, anyone saying they'd check in later would essentially be saying they're taking the morning to rest, but might be well enough to work again in the afternoon.

It's always best practise to cover what you'd be missing when calling in sick too - so just mentioning, 'I won't make X call but Y will be on it, and I won't meet Z deadline but will prioritise it when I'm back'. Otherwise managers can (and sounds like she has!) been caught on something. Takes a few seconds but makes sure the bases are covered.

You were wrong to say you would check in and then not do so. So black mark there.

Otherwise a bit of a shitty attitude from your manager but I suspect that when you said you would call in later her brain immediately jumped to the conclusion that you wouldn’t be at the morning meeting but would be attending the meeting later in the day, or making some provision for it. I don’t know why if you mentioned the work and the deadline though.

It sounds as though either she got it in the neck from her superiors about the meeting or was shown up somehow during the meeting by your absence.

Or she is being deliberately over the top because it’s your first absence and this is her management style.

Was she ok otherwise? Did she ask you how you were?

I genuinely thought I would sleep for a couple of hours or until midday then wake up.

It was quite shocking to wake at 3pm! When I say work and deadline, I had already sent her the piece of work that needed to be done that day. In my old place of work, this would just get picked up because quite clearly the person is sick!

She asked how I was but before I could reply listed off why she was annoyed. Didn’t feel like a genuine how are you. Today I am a bit better but still fatigued. Suspect Covid.

If I said I'd check in later, I would do that even if it was just to decline any meetings I couldn't join.

Having said that, you did inform your manager you weren't well, so it's not particularly reasonable to have expected that you'd be joining all calls for the day either. As for the arrangements to cover work, I suppose it depends on what the work is and how urgent it is. If it's time sensitive work, then it would have been a good idea to inform her that it needed to be done and someone else would need to cover and then leave her to make arrangements to assign to someone else. If it isn't time sensitive, then why does she want you to arrange cover for a day of absence?

why would you check in when you are off sick. Next time, call in sick, no offer to check in. Simples. Lesson learned. Don't overthink it.

This whole scenario has made me feel that having a sick isn’t really a thing. Like you’re still expected to check messages etc?!

She has come back now saying she just wanted a handover for the day. In future I will try, but the point of being sick was I was completely out of it, do not pass go. And she knew the task deadline for that day.

Maybe have a word with her late on Friday afternoon op? When her ire has died down a bit.

Explain about your previous work as tactfully as you can and say you feel there was a miscommunication,

Hope you feel better soon!

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Oh well if she has come back and said that then I suspect she is regretting going so hard on you.

Just make sure you clarify the procedure for any future absences.

I've noticed the downside of WFH is that Sick Days are a thing of the past, unless you are in hospital.

I think that you confused her by saying that you would check in later. That's more, I need to take a couple of hours, not I'm off sick today and not working.

If you are sick, then much clearer for everyone to say that you are sick and not working at all.

You followed procedure by calling in before your shift started. You said you'd be off sick and that's the end of it. Even though you said you'd check in later and didn't, doesn't matter. You already told your manager you were going to be off sick all day.

Your manager isn't entitled to a handover or anything else when you're off sick. When you're off sick it means I will not be attending any meetings or doing any work, no matter what the deadlines are.

Your manager needs to update herself on the sickness and absence policy.

I think this is one of the downsides of WFH. Unrealistic expectations when people are ill with handover etc as we can access the systems from home. The mantra in my company is now: WFH if you are too ill to work from the office. You really cannot take time off anymore unless you are hospitalised.

Just be firm next time.

It says in the OP that she told her manager she needed to take the day off.

No confusion. If someone calls me and says I need to take the day off and I'll call you later, I would tell them not to and I would hear from them the next day.

Manager is just being an arse.

I would not be giving a handover for the day if I were off sick or I’d be well enough to just do the work myself

Just be clearer next time. If you dial in sick and you are too sick to talk or do a handover then that's fair enough. If you are well enough to say xyz needs doing then that's fine too. Just be clear next time

Exactly. If you're off sick, you're too ill to work. I have seen colleagues make themselves so ill trying to not be off.

This shame of taking a day off helps no one. No individual employee should be this critical. And if they are I hope they are paid in line with that

She sounds impossible and given you’re still relatively new I’d start as you mean to go on - ask her for clarity around her comments and what her expectations of you are when you call in sick re meetings and outstanding work. I’d frame it as - given you called in you assumed it would be understood you couldn’t deliver on meetings and work; to help you understand for next time, what did she expect. This will also allow you to politely challenge if she has unreasonable or unrealistic expectations when someone is unwell.

This whole scenario has made me feel that having a sick isn’t really a thing. Like you’re still expected to check messages etc?!

@Celia24 this really depends on the culture of the organisation as well as your manager's personality and work style. Some managers are a bit more human than others and some are downright militant. Then there are those who take things literally, i.e. you said you would check in and that is what she expected you to do.

In any case, I wouldn't worry too much about this. It's not a big deal and it's highly likely your manager has already moved on and you should too. Personally, I wouldn't expect a handover from a person who is off sick (how is that possible in cases where someone was taken to a hospital for example?) and I wouldn't by default expect them to check in even if you'd tell me you would.
It's clear, however, that your manager somehow has different expectations and a different view of the world. It's also obvious that your organisation tolerates her management style and approach for some reason. I am sure that now you have learnt something new about your manager, you won't be telling her again you'd check in next time you happen to take any time off due to sickness. I hope you feel better soon!

This may be an expectation with some managers, but IMHO they are in the wrong.

When I am off sick, I am off sick. I don't log in at all. I don't check what is in my calendar, so can't arrange cover for meetings or cancel them (I would have to log on to cancel meetings in Teams, so I don't).
The policy is to phone your manager by 9am if you are sick, but if I wake up feeling ill in the night, or go to bed ill, I am not setting my alarm just to wake up and make that phone call. It is more important that I sleep as long as I need to. I phone in when I wake up naturally.