hi, I need advice/anything about my relationship/partner. For background, we have been together for 6 months. The relationship is usually very nice and lovely, he’s very attentive and always compliments me and makes me feel extremely good. He’s there when I’m ill physically and he gets me gifts sometimes and does little acts of service a lot.
anyways, some things are getting on my nerves. He was working full time when we first got together but he got made redundant for faking Covid… when we were together he always treated me to meals out, dates, gifts etc. it was never about the money but he really invested in me as a man. Anyways, he got made redundant and since then he’s seemed fine and insisted it but things tell me otherwise. This is before I get onto what bugs me. He’s still the same loving boyfriend but I don’t know if he’s secretly depressed- his flat is an absolute mess he leaves cans, dirty food, any mess u can think of around and gets through lots of cutlery. I was and still am concerned but then it falls down to me to clean it up- yes I could leave it but I did leave it once and all flies gathered:( I tell myself he’s secretly depressed as he’s told me loads he has childhood trauma, depression and therapy etc however while I’m washing up and cleaning he’s playing video games…
he also gets very snappy. Like I’ve been on my period past few days & I put my head in my hands because I’ve been feeling extremely sick and he growls “what’s wrong now ?!” , he also got very angry at me when I won on bingo and he won nothing. He got very annoyed & went off on a little rant about how he’s never going again & how hes not got much money and he was basically pushing me to pay for a taxi home for us. I didn’t- but the last thing that pees me off is how the financial balance is off. He used to pick up the bill then it went to half. I believe that most the time as a baseline it should be half if you’ve established a loving long term relationship and the man should pay for the woman as treats etc but again I’m not a money grabber sorry I am crap at wording things but I’m tryna say it’s not about money for me BUT I feel he’s kinda sponging off me a bit. I pay for everything now- lunches out, taxis, etc and I am pretty skint now for 2 weeks. I asked tonight if he was getting me a bag of crisps as he said he was getting food for himself and he said no he couldn’t afford it. But he asks me to pay for his cards (he collects cards) & other stuff like he had £18 & made me pay for something that costed £10 for him as well as my £10 on top!! I feel he’s really pushing it now so I’m being distant and I’ve made a promise to not pay for him anymore!! He also gets very stroppy and angry when my best friend texts and he slags her off. He keeps saying how he’s going to push her out “our lives” and he hates her. He said she said bad stuff to him but I don’t believe it. My best friend wouldn’t say this to him. She just wouldn’t. I nodded and went along with his twisted version of events and tried to keep her seperate. I just need advice I love him and he’s amazing as a partner. He’s not lying about the money he provides me with proof and is hardly eating. He is living off his PIP- but I feel I’m overstepping my role now.
i feel so sad as he’s normally so loving and not abusive.
does anyone have any thoughts or advice?? Any insight?? Thank you? What do I do? I don’t wanna dump him:(