To do a city day trip for my birthday and not take my parents?

[Water41]

I'm 40 next month and I'm planning a trip to York for the day. It'll be me, my sister and her kids. My parents are both quite limited in their mobility - mum uses a mobility scooter and dad a wheeled walker. They've both expressed an interest in coming but I'm not keen because when we go anywhere it takes ages to actually get anywhere. I'm currently nursing a broken finger too from lifting the mobility scooter (it slipped and jammed my hand while I was lifting it out of the boot). They also get tired quickly and then grumpy/just want to go home. Lastly, it just doesn't feel like a fun day out constantly struggling with getting the mobility aids on and off busses, up and down kerbs and such.

We did Newcastle last year and I spent the entire day so stressed I felt unwell. WIBU to say we'll do something more local rather than York?

York is pointless if you can't cover a fair distance. YANBU.

It's one of my favourite places and I rarely get to go - it was before COVID when I was there last!

It’s your birthday, not another day for you to exhaust yourself physically caring for other people.

Politely tell them no, this is a trip you’re planning with Dsis and if they want to go it will have to be another time

Go with your DSis and bring them back
A cake from Bettys!

Two trips, one more modest one with them and York for you and whoever can manage all the cobbled streets.

I think you should offer to take them somewhere with less walking, as a separate day out.
It might be for the best to kind of keep the York trip quiet if you feel they'll get fomo.

I'd tell them you've got specific plans to walk the walls, see the view from Clifford's Tower and climb the tower at York Minster.

York is full of cobbles, steps and narrow doorways, taking them along would really limit your activities.
Can you plan an alternative day out with them on another day?
YANBU to celebrate your birthday however you like, have a great time.

Do they always join you on your birthday or is it because it's your 40th? I'm surprised they want to put themselves through all the agony of York given their limitations. If they really are that unaware then I personally would've said I was going bungee jumping. Anyway, too late now. I think you'll have to make two separate plans. Go with sis to York and your parents to an accessibly friendly place (National Trust garden perhaps) with maybe afternoon tea chucked in.

Go with your sister and enjoy!
Plan something else with parents- meal out at a restaurant, garden centre cafe, something seated like the cinema?

Say no but do something else with them they can manage

Thank you!

I've been feeling pretty horrible over it tbh. Was thinking of doing a nice meal at home (which is about 90mins from York) with them.

A nice meal at home is far more suitable.

I once invited my mother on a day out, that I had taken a day off for. Without asking me she invited my grandmother. This meant I had to drive an additional two hours each way to collect her, spent all day hefting their bags about, and couldn't do what I'd planned in the first place because of her limitations. The buggers both spent the whole drive back sleeping while I fumed.

I have never made that mistake again. Don't be me. Do what you want and plan something else that they can manage.

It's annoying to compromise and then not get the day you want and enjoy. Definitely feel free to go ahead with exactly what you want to do, especially on your birthday.

On my 40th I was just going to take the baby and toddler for fancy ice cream while my DH worked. He complained he couldn't come and that I should postpone till the weekend. I didn't go. We tested positive for Covid that night and had to isolate for a week so never went. I'm still a little annoyed I didn't just ignore him and go.

Sounds like an opportunity for another outing, perhaps for a nice meal, just you and your parents.

I would suggest a parent -friendly alternative and enjoy York with your sister without them. Have two treats 😊

Technically, THEY should be taking YOU out to a restaurant/meal, but doing a meal at your own home does seem the best option.

I agree enjoy York with your friend and do something else with your parents.