Annoyed at colleague

[LuLu345678]

My colleague has recently been off on long term sick eith a serious illness. It’s an illness I’ve had in the past and spoke to her about it to try and support her. I didn’t specifically say keep it between us but given the sensitive nature of what we were talking about I assumed that was a given.
Turns out she has told several other colleagues about it. They instantly treated me differently because of it, so I could tell (the same day).
am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at her? I just assumed some things were a given not to gossip about….

I guess it’s a risk you take when you tell people personal information.

That's extremely unfair of her and I would be hurt and upset.

To assume is to make an ass out of u and me!

Well you obviously knew about her condition, so why would you assume that the conversation would be kept secret? She obviously didn't see it as private. So yes I think you are being unreasonable, but I think your other colleagues are being pretty unreasonable if they are treating you different because of some health condition you have had.

Did she tell you about her illness in confidence? If not, and it was more common knowledge, if she is OK with people (including you) talking about her, then I can see that she might have assumed you were OK with her talking about you

Unless you specifically said “please can you keep this between us.” I don’t see that she’s done anything wrong.

she is obviously open about her illness with colleagues and doesn’t see it as something to hide and as you talked to her she probably assumed you were too.

seems like an innocent mistake.

Tbh it probably wasn’t to offend you, there’s not much you can do. I understand but guess it goes to be a lesson to be careful who to tell, annoying as that is.

I think you were naive rather than unreasonable. In hindsight you might have prefaced sharing with a ‘I am quite private so only want to share this with you…’ but it’s done now. Though you could still go back and mention to your colleague not to share it with anyone as it would make you uncomfortable (she can then do damage limitation and stop it being spread any further).

The colleagues who now know won’t likely dwell on it and will forget soon enough. Just carry on being yourself and if it’s ever mentioned just say, ‘I shared that in confidence and would rather not discuss it.’