Am I supposed to announce that I’m dating someone?

[Covermeinsuns]

I’ve been single years until I met someone in October. it’s going well but the relationship is as yet unlabelled, although has been exclusive for a long while.

I moved out of the U.K. a couple of years back.

There are 3 men back in my home town that I was friends with, but also had casual flings with over the years.

I’m still in touch with all of them here and there (platonically!) via social media.

Going back to England next month to see my family and all three guys have said they’re looking forward to catching up when I’m back.

I’d like to see them (and will likely bump into them at pub anyway) I go back years with them all and I’ve always caught up with them on past trips. Sometimes platonically, sometimes not…

I haven’t told any of them that i’m dating someone, as we don’t chat about our lives in that way via text.

It seems a bit dramatic to announce, unasked “alas I am now attached”, but it also feels a bit unethical to let them think otherwise. I feel odd either way!

I will absolutely tell them in person, incidentally, and I’m certainly not going to shag any of them!

My question is whether it’s wrong to meet them at all, and if I do, do I have to proclaim my unavailability in advance?

Well they can’t be good friends is you haven’t even mentioned that your seeing someone. Have you told your women friends, were you keeping them on the back burner?

Just tell them it will be interesting to see is they are so bothered to remain friends if casual sex is definitely off the table.

Could you just say something like, "I can't wait for you to meet James, I think you guys will get along really well" or something like that? Then if they don't twig and ask you who James is, you just say "the guy I'm seeing".

They’re men! None of my male friends make particularly engaging conversation about what’s happening in my day to day life.

I definitely wasn’t keeping them on the back burner. It genuinely just never came up in our sporadic chats.

Are you not privy to the soft launch?

Public enough social media post where these friends are going to see, ambiguous (as it’s “unofficial”) but alluding to the relationship. Not tagging them. Two drinks together, shot of the cinema, anything. “Another great night together”

People get the idea instantly but no one needs to feel pressure about being outed and having labels put on things. Others know to back off.

You are going to realise that their interest in keeping in touch is going to wane dramatically once they lose the opportunity of shagging you, even randomly.

They are not friends, they are FWBs who keep their options open, DGAF about how they learn you are not available anymore, their loss.

If they were true friends, the topic of your personal life would have come up.

Are they friends or acquaintances or men hanging around wanting a shag?

I get the dilemma. I don't have many people in my life now but the ones who are nearly died of shock when I started dating someone. Tbh I only disclosed it because it was convenient.

depends on who they are in your life. I don't think you are obligated to say anything because they're men.