I’m not BU DH was massively in the wrong here right?

[Twinkledinkle]

I have flu, I feel pretty awful. Last night agreed DH to do nursery and school drop offs. It’s annoying that one is 815am and the other 9am, so we normally take a child each. Anyway, I woke up to get some meds and found DC3 sat downstairs on her own. He’s gone and taken the eldest and left her here, without telling me or bringing her to me. He hadn’t locked the door so she could’ve let herself out!
I’ve just rang him and he casually said ‘I suppose I should’ve locked the door’
What??!!! She’s 3!!!

Blimey I'd be fuming, what's wrong with him!

Oh my goodness! 😱 I would be fuming!

No YANBU. That's negligence. Especially if she could have got out. He should have told you he was leaving her at home so you could watch her. I can't imagine the mindset where he could have done this to be honest. Ridiculous.

You are not being unreasonable.
It’s a massive lack of judgment in my book. He could wake you up and tell you to keep an eye and of course close the door.
things like this always make me think that my DH secretly is trying to escape parenting duties. Because what mum in her right mind will trust someone who does this????

It is negligence isn’t it! God I feel so utterly shite right now with a fever so I can’t think straight but I’m at a total loss why he would do that or even consider it ok. He just said ‘I suppose I should’ve locked the door’ No you fucking idiot, you don’t leave a 3 year old alone, end of.

I have a very sensible 3yo (as far as they can be) and that’s outrageous. I have once left her downstairs watching TV with her dad in bed upstairs (awake) to drop our older child at school 100 yards down the road but obviously told him and her and locked the doors! Still felt a bit weird.

No that’s awful and neglect. A 3 year old should not be left unsupervised in the house, although you were there you were in bed and didn’t know she was by herself so she was unsupervised. I would not be leaving him to supervise.

THREE?! I was all ready to say YABU for a 8/9 year old, but 3 is shocking. What a bloody idiot.

YABUT. The kid survived being left for 20 minutes. Who'd have thought...

YANBU that is awful

I’d be raging. Is he always so careless with them?

They are three and unsupervised. How do you think that’s ok?

With a kid that age yeah, the door needs locking.

If she was sat watching tv for 20 minutes, and knows you are upstairs, I wouldn't get that worked up about it. I'm a single parent and often will put cartoons on for 20 minutes in the living room while I'm in the kitchen making dinner or upstairs changing the bedsheets or whatever. Not the end of the world.

Unless he left a load of sharp objects or some matches to play with, I don't think it is "negligence", especially as there is another adult in the house....

He probably should've locked the door though.

And now what?

You've got flu, and sound like you're too ill to drive safely. How is he proposing she gets to nursery?

Or is he expecting you to look after at home all day?

Weaponised incompetence, he's done this so you will never expect support when you are unwell ever again. He will not tolerate his domestic unit malfunctioning so pulled this stunt.

What a prick. Sorry, you need an explanation as to why he's ignored your agreement and dumped the 3yo back on you with no discussion.

I'm guessing she's the 9am drop off so he'd come back for her...

What if OP didn’t wake up for meds until 11am? Still ok? No of course not.

By luck, not planning.

You could be absolutely right, but OP posted after 9am so I figured he hadn't come back at that point or she'd have mentioned it in the first post rather than saying she's just got off the phone