Acceptable / realistic break pattern for 12 hour day?

[Proudestmumofone1]

Hi all

I realise I am writing this from a privileged position of being able to afford help at home (I am disabled and require additional support and we are lucky enough to be able to afford it - for now!)

We have had a full time live in nanny since our daughter was 6 weeks old. She is now 3.5 and in preschool full time during term time (7.30-4.30).

Our nanny was employed as a nanny/housekeeper.

Obviously the role has changed now our daughter (since September) is in full time preschool.

However, she is often refuse to complete household tasks and we have to employ cleaners etc.

Im feeling frustrated as it is a lot of money and having to work hard whilst someone is doing very little between 7.30 and 4.30 is frustrating!

my question is, what is a reasonable break schedule for someone working 6.30am - 6.15pm?

Would it be expected that personal cooking ie preparation of own lunch, is within the lunch break?

We’ve fallen into a pattern where we have little say over the tasks she does and her schedule but this has meant there are more and more breaks happening. Eg breakfast for 40 mins at 8am ish, then cooking for lunch during morning, then eating lunch say 11.15-12, then dinner at 4.30-5.15.
she has a full hour off around 12pm to 1pm for ‘lunch break’ that she spends in her room.

I am really not trying to be horrible and not let her have reasonable breaks, but the timings just don’t work - 4.30-5.15 is the only time in the day we need help with childcare! Having the dinner break before my daughter comes home would make so much more sense…

So what would you see as reasonable for these hours?

(I do think the fact that little ‘work’ is done in the time is a factor in my frustration - max 1 hour a day of laundry).

Please please don’t pile on about the fact we have this amount of help - it really is a necessity for us as I am physically unsafe to be with my daughter alone due to my disabilities so always need ‘someone in the background’ when I’m with her.

I'd get two 15 minute paid breaks and an unpaid lunch of 45 minutes. She is playing you. Would you consider offering her split shifts so she works 6-10am and 3-7pm for example so can can have her down time when your DD is at school? I'd fully expect her to be doing all duties during working hours though.

I also think split shifts might be something to think about. Gives her chance to go to the gym, run errands, cinema, go for a walk or whatever.

These are all brilliant ideas thank you. Hadn’t thought about split shifts…

Oh the lunch cooking happens before the eating and lunch break too 🤣

You are all completely right - I will be speaking with my husband again and sitting down with her.

I have started writing down the tasks I would want during the day and it really is minimal - an hour or two tops within the 7.30-4.30. But the important part is it being our schedule and when we want it (eg quickly sweeping the hall if the buggy has brought it mud before breakfast break).

Really helped me think about what’s reasonable and given me the push to sort this out!

@stillljh You’re completely right - we don’t need a live in full time role any more. For example, we could have after school nanny help and then have our lovely cleaner come a couple of times in the week for the ‘tidy up’.

We’ve become stuck because we always think ‘but what if I get ill and XYZ happens’. But we need to buckle up and sort it out because fundamentally it’s a huge amount of money that could be better placed elsewhere.

And me stewing and becoming frustrated and then complaining to my husband about it isn’t very helpful for anyone,.. need to actually deal with it.

We’ve become stuck because we always think ‘but what if I get ill and XYZ happens’. But we need to buckle up and sort it out because fundamentally it’s a huge amount of money that could be better placed elsewhere.

@Proudestmumofone1
If you do become ill or something else happens you can reassess the situation then. If you reduce the outgoings on this useless nanny you will be able to save the money and it'll be there if something does happen.
Make a decision which suits you for now and revisit if things change. Just as you are doing right now - the full time live-in nanny was appropriate until your child went to preschool and now it's not necessary.

Good luck OP!

I think an hour break is reasonable
Or an hour 15 mins.
But can be broken up into chunks of half an hour/15 mins if she prefers.
And yes of course should be having last break before she has to care for your child after preschool