To feel overwhelmed and want to simplify my life?

[OneSnugExpert]

Life feels so chaotic sometimes - too much stuff, too many commitments, too many distractions. I’m at a point where I feel like simplifying everything would bring more peace and clarity. Has anyone else felt like this? AIBU to think that decluttering both my physical and mental space is the key to feeling more balanced?

I have a little piece of paper that reads:

Stay calm
Do one thing at a time
Do things ahead of time

Also, it seems counterintuitive, but in really busy moments - slow down. You are less likely to make mistakes, which then take time to fix.

Absolutely. I am trying to to declutter 1 spave every fortnight. Under the stairs yesterday - next on my list is old shoes- god only knows how many are lurking under the bed. It’s soo cathartic.

If you feel this would help you OP trust your instinct. Are there particular areas you’d like to simplify/steam-line? That way posters might be able to give you better advice. I have found short 5 minute breathing exercises through the day helps with overwhelm. Are there any medical or other issues (e.g. anxiety, MH issues, ND) which might be contributing that you can address?

I think my main focus would be simplifying my physical space and cutting down on commitments. I often feel like I’m juggling too much and it leaves me drained. Decluttering seems like a good starting point but I’d love to hear tips on streamlining daily routines or managing time more effectively too.

I don’t have any diagnosed issues but I do think I’ve developed some habits that add to my stress - like taking on too much or saying yes when I really want to say no. The breathing exercises sound like a great idea, I’ll definitely look into that.

Thank you all for the comments so far.

Yanbu. I know Covid was a horrible time for many and it had its challenges for me, but the simplification of life was one of the pros and I really enjoyed that.

i like the school holidays for the same reason, when most of the various commitments stop.

I use the huberman lab 5 minutes breathing exercise on YouTube but there’s loads on You Tube plus free/free to trial apps like Headspace and Insight Timer.

I think on space de-cluttering, the PP’s idea about breaking it down into mini goals like clearing under the stairs or a particular cupboard is a good idea. Feels manageable and a nice feeling of accomplishment. Marie Kondo could be worth checking out. Also, have a think about whether you need some extra storage so that it’s easier to tidy (aka dump things into a storage box/cupboard, in my case!)

I guess on saying no it depends a bit on the context whether it’s work, friends etc. Hopefully others will have good ideas

Concur about the simplicity of life over lockdowns (while fully recognising it was truly, truly awful for many)

I don’t know what stage of life you’re in OP (childfree, young children, older ones, or flown the nest) but I concur that clearing your life of stuff helps dramatically. The more things we have, the more things we have to tidy away, think about homing (is it a hobby that requires new furniture to house it? Is it an upgrade to something that needs to find its way to a charity shop?) and lives rent free in your head until an area is tidied.

I have ADHD and overspending to ‘fix’ a problem (that perfect outfit for the school run so I don’t look a hot mess/that perfect storage solution to solve my chaotic cupboards/that perfect toy that my child will play with for hours so I can get something done around the house), and buying to get a dopamine rush, is very much a known behavioural problem. I decided to do a no spend January where only consumables can be purchased, and that too the bare essentials. This gave me some breathing room to catch up on sorting the existing messes and piles without adding more to the mix (more cardboard to recycle, more invoices to shred, more parcels to collect/return) and it’s really helped. I think I’m going to continue it through to February. It’s also meant more time to read, cook from scratch 5/6 days a week, do puzzles (that went on Vinted as soon as they were completed 😂)

The system of a box each for to sell, donate, keep for later,, recycle really helps and means when one is full, it goes to where it needs to. Something by the door if you have space - a bin for paper recycling, a tray for paper that needs actioning

With regards to commitments, it’s become easier saying ‘sorry no I can’t’ when everyone around us says the same. I had less than 24hrs notice that my 22 year old cousin was returning from an overseas trip and needed to crash for a night. The following day she asked for a lift to the station (10 min walk away!) to continue her journey home. ‘No sorry, I’ll be putting the toddler down for his nap then. If you leave after 2.30 I could?’ Previously I would have delayed the nap and dragged the toddler out. I still help where I can, especially for those who have been there for me over and over, but recognise the limitations on my time and energy now.

Also taking an approach of kindness towards yourself while you embark on this change. It will be slow going and some weeks where no progress is made, some weeks where you will steam ahead, and others where you may regress slightly.

I hope you find yourself on a journey to peace, clarity and simplicity! ✌🏽

Cutting down commitments can he an easy one depending on what those commitments are.

How good are you at saying no?