To take of DC's surname as father is absent?

[charlielpink]

I have a toddler who was planned and the relationship has been extremely rocky since DC was born.

I don't think "DP" realised how tiring and hard work it would be to raise and look after a baby.

At first he was a hands on dad and a very good dad, now he will see DC maybe 1/2 a week 3 if DC is lucky.

I made the decision to separate as I was/am doing all the parenting, he gives me money weekly but that's all really.

Anytime he comes over he will want to take pictures to show everyone that he is this amazing father.

Another thing that infuriates me is how he will prioritise other people kids, for example his nephews.

Last week he didn't see DC for over 8 days and then had the audacity to complain about never spending a birthday with his sister's 15 year old son who lives with his grandmother.

I'm really fed up of this, unfortunately DC has a double barrel name with both mine and his and I want to change DC's name so his surname is completely removed.

He is a terrible selfish and lazy father and I don't think he deserves the privilege of our DC having his surname.

AIBU?

You're too involved with your ex. Minimise contact to strictly written communication about dates and times that you'll meet.

Block him on social media etc so you can't hear and see what he's saying, as it's none of your business. Don't speak to him outside of texts/emails and stay as polite as possible.

Focus on raising ds, and see where you are in 6 months.

Then you can decide how to take proper action once you've got a paper trail of his negligence.

Telling him youre gonns change ds surname will just cause drama. Best of luck, op.

Don't think that's the way to go and you need his consent to change a surname. If he doesn't consent you have to seek permission of the court.

Your understandably angry and his unreliability and disney dad behaviour but you're projecting that onto your children by wanting to remove his surname.

The child focussed way is to formalise dates and times for contact in writing. If he cannot make it or let's the children down continually then you tell him if he wishes to see his children he needs to get it formalised in a child arrangements order.