1 year postpartum and struggling with mental n health

[user11290]

Hi,

Is it normal to still be struggling with your MH one year postpartum? My DD was born at 37 weeks via c section and has CMPA so the first few months were hard whilst I was trying to recover from the c section and was trying to figure out why my baby did not stop crying.

I love her to pieces but other areas of my life have really taken a hit. I feel like I'm always snappy at my family and my partner and that I prefer to just be alone or with DD as opposed to friends and family.

I also have OCD type thoughts where I worry that my DD has a tumour or that if I don't clean every part of the kitchen after handling chicken then she'll get food poisoning etc.

DD is 13 months and doesn't talk or walk yet and I spend hours Googling things and they make me feel like a rubbish mother.

I was prescribed Sertraline but stopped taking it after a few days as I started worrying about the side effects.

Is it normal to still feel like this 13 months later?

Thank you

You are not alone, I've been there and recovered xxx please contact your GP and see if there is some talking therapy you can access, if you feel that medication is not for you. Ask the GP to point you in the right direction for support in your community. Failing that, have a Google for anything you could sign up for in your local area that might help you, such as local playgroups etc, but also try to speak to a health visitor. Please don't think you're the only one to feel this way, you are definitely not xx

Don't think there is any "normal" after babies. It's a wild ride. Mines is 14 months, I have the doctors today to talk about pnd or anxiety meds. Got a big life event going on and struggling to cope. I always worried about side effects too, but now I'm worried about literally having a full blown breakdown. I think i have had pnd in hindsight and just ignored it and lived minute to minute as you're so busy with a lo. I wish I'd got help sooner before this utter crisis mode I'm in.
If you need the meds don't beat yourself up. My friend is a gp and she took the same one for a while, she said it really helped and she stopped after a few months. She also breastfed. Sending love and support to you ❤️ i wish it was ok to talk about this more in real life

Thank you @flippertygibbet4 and @PinkPomelo I could've cried at the way in which I could relate to your posts.

I feel like everything that my DP does irritates me and my reaction is just getting snappy. I'm not usually like this (well I wasn't pre-baby) and I feel really annoyed afterwards as I feel like a naggy old woman.

I hate the way my body looks too. I feel as though I look like a hippo as I'm still 63KG and for a 5ft2 woman that makes me look big. Obviously women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes but I've always been a size 6/8. Maybe a 10 just before I got pregnant but I'm now a size 12.

I love my baby girl more than anything and I worry about her obsessively. It's really unhealthy how much I worry (more than your usual new mum worries).

I think I may have no other choice but to start medication because I continue like this I will probably hit rock bottom.

Well done something now before rock bottom because I'm at rock bottom and trying to hold it together and failing and dropping balls all over the place. I just got sertraline so going to start it now. Have you tried yoga or meditation? I know there's such little time for it though. I never find time.
I think as time goes on you'll stop worrying. Once days go by and you realise you all made it through the day and are fine each day it gets better. I am a crazy worrier too but usually the things you worry about don't happen. I'm trying to challenge myself to think instead of "what if this happens" what if it doesn't? What if it goes well and I'm really happy? It's easier said than done but it's crazy how we never obsess over great things that could happen, just bad!

Also don't worry about your size my size changed for a year pp. Every time I bought clothes they lasted about a month and I'd change again. Also you sound a lovely size and you're a mum and your baby will get lovely cosy cuddles (no one wants boney cuddles 😂)