Accidentally booked a trip away over my best friends birthday

[brassandswitch]

So I've just spoken to my best friend and showed her where I'm going on holiday with family in July, only for her to mention I'm away over her birthday. Completely forgot and didn't realise - I wasn't here last year either as I was away for work. She gets very touchy about it. I've apologised and she's genuinely upset at me for it. AIBU?!

You are not being the slightest bit unreasonable. Don’t apologise or anything like that as that will be taken as you've done something wrong (which you haven't).

It’s very immature for a non-related adult to expect you to just be around for their birthday, especially if nothing has even been planned.

Unless it's a significant birthday and you have previously accepted a party invitation then she is being ridiculous!

She sounds very selfish and immature.. So it's her birthday..so what.??

Oh boy I wouldn't even expect my mum to be around for my birthday, whats wrong with people ?!?

Jesus, the things some people post AIBU’s about are ridiculous, looking for advice on things that are so obvious

She's upset because you didn't put her birthday as a higher priority than your holiday?

Is she 12????

Tell her to get a bloody grip. That's ludicrous.

Oh, and stop apologising to her. She's being a brat.

Lol...your friend is pulling your leg surely...no one would do what she is suggesting. Yanbu.

Are you her only friend?

Do people still behave like this?

Why would you book a family holiday specifically around a friend's birthday?

When it's my birthday I have a meal out with my family on a day that's somewhere around the date of my actual birthday. It's been a long time since I went out with friends. Probably my 30th. Marriages happen, babies are born, priorities change.

Even children have birthday parties on days different to their actual birthday.

Well if she hasn't arranged anything yet and your presence is that important to her, she can arrange the celebration before or after your holiday. It doesn't need to be on the exact date.

I agree that she's being immature but actually I think it's worse than that. How dare she assume that her birthday (which you have already planned to celebrate with her at a concert) should dictate your vacation plans? It's rude, it's entitled and kind of unhinged tbh. Why does she think she's more important than everything else you have going on in your life and everything that the other people you are holidaying with have going on too? It's just weird

As a grown up, this is a weird reaction. I love my best friend but I don’t consider her birthday a date I have to live my life around.

I was on a cruise last year when my (adult) son had his birthday - it certainly didn't scar him!

Your friend sounds very immature.

Unless she has already invited you to something for her birthday this is just weird. Non issue

My very best friend doesn't have anyone to celebrate her birthday with, and even SHE doesn't mind if I'm not around on her birthday! Sometimes I have to work, sometimes I'm off with my kids... we do something really nice one day in the week before. She's never complained - because she knows that real life continues outside her.

I have good friends who I adore, but this notion of a grown woman who has a 'best friend' who has some kind of claim on her time is something I only see on mumsnet, I don't know anyone in real life who is in the kind of co-dependent 'best friends' relationship that is often referenced on posts here.

OP, honestly your family and booking a family holiday that works for you is the priority here, not some over grown 5 year old who insists her birthday should be of any importance to anyone else!

I barely remember my friends’ birthdays. We usually just do cards.

Sounds like you need a new best friend, preferably one that isn’t a child.

Does she get you birthday presents?

She is BU to be annoyed when she has form for not making plans.

YANBU!

Sounds like she expects her friends to be waiting on tenterhooks, ready to dance to Her Majesty' whims.

It's a hard NO from me. She needs to grow the fuck up.

She will have to get over it unless she wants to look childish. Honestly there are so many threads about grown women having hissy fits because "it's their party and they'll cry if they want to" yet they don't book the date, pay for their guests or arrange anything fun. You have your own life.

I’m not 100% certain I know when my best friends birthday is…

and yet she IS complaining....

she's a big baby. just smile and wave. you have done nothing wrong.

this would have me backing off tbh.