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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be asked by 60 children where babies come from?

38 replies

jipori · 21/01/2025 09:19

I'm a midwife and have been asked (along with others) to go and speak to my son's school year about my job.

They are in year 1.

I just feel like my job opens me up to a whole host of questions. Even from explaining how babies are actually born.

DS is very aware, but I know other parents aren't as open.

I love talking about my job, but I feel like this could end in disaster?

AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
Dror · 21/01/2025 09:20

How could you think you're being unreasonable?

LittleRedRidingHoody · 21/01/2025 09:21

OMG I'd love to be a fly on that wall 😂

But you're not being unreasonable! I'd imagine it'll get back to parents what you've said and you'll get awkward looks or be avoided for the rest of time!

Original poster
jipori · 21/01/2025 09:21

Dror · 21/01/2025 09:20

How could you think you're being unreasonable?

I was expecting people may say I am over-thinking it.

OP posts:
TaggieO · 21/01/2025 09:22

I mean, technically you’d be talking about how they come out, not how they got in, so maybe it wouldn’t be a complete shitshow….? Grin

I think I would swerve this one like the plague, tbh, just in case!

noworklifebalance · 21/01/2025 09:22

YANBU
You are not a trained to be delivering this information to young children. Their parents may have issues with what you tell them, however factually correct and sensitively you deliver it. Plus there is no particular need for a midwife (or obstetrician) to do this - you are massively over qualified for the age group!

littleluncheon · 21/01/2025 09:23

Questions about how the baby grows or gets out are fine to answer.

Questions about how the baby gets in there can be referred to the teacher.

Dror · 21/01/2025 09:24

Be confident in your decisions.

It's a stupid idea by whoever asked you. The kids won't understand any aspect of your job beyond 'I help women's babies be born', so a 5 second speech.

ManchesterGirl2 · 21/01/2025 09:25

Personally I think there's no harm in giving them scientifically correct answers, and I think your job would be really interesting to the kids. But I can see how it might make things awkward with other parents.

Halfemptyhalfling · 21/01/2025 09:25

I think you should raise these concerns with the school as they may have helpful protocols for this

takealettermsjones · 21/01/2025 09:26

Oooh, that's an interesting one. As a parent I would be fine with this (within reason - e.g. I wouldn't expect you to go into graphic detail about episiotomies or anything), but not all parents have the same opinions of course.

If it's something you'd like to do, you could perhaps have a meeting with the teacher first and ask exactly what material they want you to cover, and what they plan to do if (when!) the questions about conception happen.

Alabas · 21/01/2025 09:26

just ask the school what they are teaching them and refer any questions you don’t want to answer to the teacher.

Coriol · 21/01/2025 09:26

Not in the least unreasonable to decline, obviously, but in practice much of it would probably be hilariously wife of the mark. Assuming this is one of those weekly ‘parents talking about their job’ things, DH (who worked in PL football) did it when DS was Year 1, and got questions like ‘Are the footballers allowed to go home after the game?’ and whether the local team’s mascot was ‘real’.

Allswellthatendswelll · 21/01/2025 09:27

If you want to do it I would talk to the teacher beforehand as I'm sure (hope!) they have thought it through.

I do think you are right to question it though as although I think children should know I know from my teaching some parents can be funny about it. I've had parents worried I'm going to tell their children where the baby is etc as I'm currently pregnant! 🙄 It's on the school to have thought about this.

I think in general it's a nice thing to do though.

pimplebum · 21/01/2025 09:28

It’s a careers talk , give s speel about your job and tell teacher you won’t be taking questions

ConflictofInterest · 21/01/2025 09:30

It depends though, if you're just doing 5 minutes on your job with other parents doing the same thing I can't imagine it would be asked or not be something you couldn't brush past. Surely you could talk about your job 'caring for mummies' without any focus on how the baby got in there. At 5 they are going to be less interested than you think. I think if it was year 5 it would be a difficult talk but Y1 would be fine. My kids have been quite happy at 5 with, babies grow in mummies tummies, in response to 'where do they come from'.

Toddlerteaplease · 21/01/2025 09:31

pimplebum · 21/01/2025 09:28

It’s a careers talk , give s speel about your job and tell teacher you won’t be taking questions

To five year olds?

Fridgetapas · 21/01/2025 09:31

It’s fairly common for people to go into schools and talk about their jobs if they might be interesting to children - firefighter, police officer. At that age they often do a topic on ‘people that help us’ but maybe teacher has slightly misjudged it with midwife and not thought about the questions it might bring!

helpfulperson · 21/01/2025 09:33

It's possible this is for 'people who help us'. You could just talk about working in a hospital, a bit about doctors and nurses who help sick people and then say you are a special type of nurse who helps mummies when they have babies.

Katy232425 · 21/01/2025 09:33

You’re reasonable to say no if you like, but I think you’re overthinking it. If they ask something you can’t answer you just say “I’m afraid I can’t answer that”, “That’s a question you need to ask your parent”, “Oh that’s not a part of my job” etc etc.

Surely this is just a careers or “what different jobs people have” type talk and you can go in and talk about the checks you’d carry out on a baby? Bring your stethoscope and demonstrate it? You don’t have to talk about birth or your actual specific midwifery role.

But if you don’t want to do it then say so, I doubt they’ll give it a second thought.

MotherJessAndKittens · 21/01/2025 09:34

I wouldn’t as at that stage some may know where and how babies are born and some won’t. I think most would know that they grow in their mummies tummy but not about birth.

PrincessAnne5Eva · 21/01/2025 09:35

Yeah I'd swerve that if you can. If you can't, can you just say something like "I look after little babies as soon as they get out of their mum's tummy and I look after mummies who have babies in their tummies." Something really low level. Then talk about how you can listen to the heart and maybe tell them about ultrasound with a picture and point out which bit of the weird space alien thing on the photo/projector screen is the baby's head?

Crazybaby123 · 21/01/2025 09:49

Could you give them a bullet list of things you could discuss and say also that you have concerns about speaking because of xyz reasons. The school should if you do go ahead send out a letter to parents with the outline and ask if parents are happy for their child to be included. If you are not happy about doing it then say with your reasons.

Fridgetapas · 21/01/2025 09:50

Katy232425 · 21/01/2025 09:33

You’re reasonable to say no if you like, but I think you’re overthinking it. If they ask something you can’t answer you just say “I’m afraid I can’t answer that”, “That’s a question you need to ask your parent”, “Oh that’s not a part of my job” etc etc.

Surely this is just a careers or “what different jobs people have” type talk and you can go in and talk about the checks you’d carry out on a baby? Bring your stethoscope and demonstrate it? You don’t have to talk about birth or your actual specific midwifery role.

But if you don’t want to do it then say so, I doubt they’ll give it a second thought.

Actually after reading this I think it definetly could be done and fun and interesting for the children!
Im thinking chats about check ups - blood pressure, listening to baby’s heart. Maybe a scan of a baby in the tummy and where its head and legs are.
Not too much about birth - just you help mummies give birth to their babies and then maybe about visiting mum afterwards, weighing the baby (bring in the scales?) and nice bits like that.
The tricky bit is all the questions they will inevitably ask - how does baby come out, how did it get there etc! I guess you might have to come prepped with some skim over it type answers!

Phthia · 21/01/2025 09:50

The obvious response is to tell them to ask their teacher. But I would check with the teacher whether s/he has thought this through and is ready to deal with that one.

Soontobe60 · 21/01/2025 09:53

I very much doubt the school is expecting you to deliver sex education 🤣
it’ll be more like “I look after mummies before and after they have a baby” “some midwives work in a hospital some in a clinic”