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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Burial advise legal HELP needed

61 replies

Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 08:38

This is a real dilemma
X and y were married over 50 years
x bought burial plot 600 pounds .
Y died first was cremated her ashes put in plot waiting for beloved x
x has just died
Council are now saying they want 1000 to open grave on top of burial costs
x was never notified of changes , if he had y would never have been put in grave , she’d. have waited in an urn at his home

Any thoughts . This represents a fortune to the family

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OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 08:40

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User67556 · 21/01/2025 08:41

Yeah sorry this is an oversight. Can you just have a cremation and scatter the ashes on the same grave? And then update the headstone?

OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 08:42

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Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 08:42

User67556 · 21/01/2025 08:41

Yeah sorry this is an oversight. Can you just have a cremation and scatter the ashes on the same grave? And then update the headstone?

It’s too late burial next week

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OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 08:43

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User67556 · 21/01/2025 08:44

Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 08:42

It’s too late burial next week

A week to cancel it then/change to cremation?

LIZS · 21/01/2025 08:44

That sounds normal . Is x being cremated or buried? When they purchased the plot there acquired "exclusive rights of burial" for specified number of burials/cremations for which there would be a scale of fees. Is interment of an urn cheaper, or can their ashes be scattered instead?

Calmhappyandhealthy · 21/01/2025 08:44

This is something that would have been explained to X at the time of purchasing the plot

The costs involved in a new interment are quite high and are usually passed on to the family

OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 08:45

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Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 08:46

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What additional cost ?
The grave is going to dug for the casket that’s covers what you are referring to.
At present it’s only a box close to surface ( undertakers words) . This is an additional cost to the normal burial costs

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LIZS · 21/01/2025 08:46

Presumably they paid to inter y ashes so knew there were interment fees.

OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 08:47

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Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 08:50

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X put the grave in a family members name . She has never received any amended contract and knows x never did , they had discussed what both x and y wanted.
The undertakers have said this is a recent change they hadn’t encountered before

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OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 08:53

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midgetastic · 21/01/2025 08:54

1000 does seem a lot to essentially dig a hole and make good after burying an urn

The death business is like weddings I suspect - overpriced because of what it is

caramac04 · 21/01/2025 08:57

Reopening a plot is chargeable and im
sure the council would have made this clear at the time of the plot purchase. It sounds like there has been misunderstanding/miscommunication within the family.
It is a lot of money considering what the grave diggers are paid but there is also admin to consider.

LIZS · 21/01/2025 08:58

If it was transferred into another's name does x have legal right to be buried there? Were the undertakers who interred y made aware that a burial would follow, if so why was the issue of cost and placement not explained at the time. A burial is always deeper , especially if first of double depth. Or was it meant to be an ashes plot?

Calmhappyandhealthy · 21/01/2025 08:58

£600 is the cost of the plot

I'd be utterly AMAZED if burying/interring two bodies/ashes was included in the £600 plot purchase

I've never ever heard of this and I've worked in the industry

If the original contract DOES say £600 for everything, I'd be interested to know where you are in the UK (rough area, not postcode!!)

stanleypops66 · 21/01/2025 09:00

It's normal to pay to open a grave.

OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 09:03

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GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 21/01/2025 09:04

I'm confused.

The plot was bought for £600.

An urn was interred for £?
Now there is to be a burial of a coffin, (not ashes?)

The fee for that is £? which you're happy with

But there's also a fee of £1000 to - what? Remove the urn and rebury? And that's what you're saying is unexpected?

Is that right? Because I think some PP are reading it as the £1000 is to bury x, but I don't think that's right?

OneDeftPombear · 21/01/2025 09:12

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ohtowinthelottery · 21/01/2025 09:33

I'm assuming this is a Local Authority run graveyard. Both my parents are buried in one. When my DM died, 2 years after DF, we had to pay for the reopening of the grave. From memory it was around £600 and that was nearly 9 years ago.

Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 09:59

midgetastic · 21/01/2025 08:54

1000 does seem a lot to essentially dig a hole and make good after burying an urn

The death business is like weddings I suspect - overpriced because of what it is

Sorry if it’s not clear
y died 15 years ago was cremated , her ashes were put near surface of grave awaiting x . Now x has died and will be buried in coffin at the grave he purchased .

The cost is an additional £1000 to the council just because the urn is there . The grave will be dug to put coffin in so this represents no extra work just an extra cost that x and family were never notified of.

Thr undertakers think this extra cost is ridiculous

Hope that makes more sense

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Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 10:01

Calmhappyandhealthy · 21/01/2025 08:58

£600 is the cost of the plot

I'd be utterly AMAZED if burying/interring two bodies/ashes was included in the £600 plot purchase

I've never ever heard of this and I've worked in the industry

If the original contract DOES say £600 for everything, I'd be interested to know where you are in the UK (rough area, not postcode!!)

No the £600 was just for the burial plot , purchased many many years ago. Burial costs like you say are a known extra , it’s an additional cost £1000 that we are questioning

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