To let 4 year old do their own thing in soft play?

[omrsun]

He knows where to find me but AIBU in not hovering over him and letting him just get on and well, play?

Never sure what the acceptable age for letting them get on with it is.

God of course yes! 4yo’s don’t need to be helicopter parented. It’s far more damaging to be overbearing at 4!

I left mine to do their own things from about 2, maybe even earlier.

If they seem happy in their own company or have someone to play with, let them get on with it! Keep an eye on him though

Yeah it’s fine I leave my 3 year old off on her own! I can’t go in anymore as have a little baby with me too! She just watch her from my table

Yeah that’s fine, so long as you keep an eye and intervene if he starts climbing up the slide or being too rowdy. I wouldn’t follow mine around past the age of being toddlers, surely that’s the joy of soft play 😂

DD is 6 and would be mildly embarrassed if I were to go in with her!😅.

As long as you are keeping an eye on them and ready to intervene if necessary, you're good.

Are the people saying OP IBU those annoying bastards who stand at large in the soft play and moan when kids run into them?

It depends on the child , if your child is well able then let her off. My 3 year old is extremely clumsy so there's no way I could leave him to his own devices, he'd do himself an injury

I agree with PPs- leave him to it but watch him like a hawk in case he starts misbehaving. Don't be one of those parents who sits there on their phone.

I voted BU because of the 'he knows where to find me' 'let him get on with it' sentiment. That conjured up pictures of those parents who go and sit with a coffee, totally ignoring the havoc their little precious is causing with other kids. 'Knowing where to find me' doesn't really sound like 'letting them get on with it while always watching and ready to intervene'.

From someone who did a fair chunk of my degree at soft play while my DC played, absolutely 4 is old enough to let them play, but do keep an eye on what they're up to every so often, and be prepared to intervene if necessary (assuming you can actually see in the soft play area!)

(15 years ago or so, I was an expert on which soft plays had the best coffee and WiFi provision our town. Got very good at blocking out noise too!)

I've seen so many older children charging around, knocking little ones over, going in the baby area, pushing in etc and it's always their parents who are nowhere to be seen!

I think you’re looking way too much into that - OP means he won’t have the panic moment of losing her because he knows where she is.

Fair enough. In my lived experience, 'he knows where to find me' means switching off because the kid will come if they need to. Or just not checking on them. As long as they're in sight and the parent is watchful, that's fine.

As long as he’s not a known regular biter / hitter/ pusher of other kids!!! - and he knows to come to you if any issue - it should be fine to go off to play at 4, but would still keep an eye on them as you can never predict other kids behaviour / lack of supervision by their adults.

My son was going in alone from just before 2! He has an older sister and seemed to learn quickly from her. I kept an eye out whilst drinking coffee and reading mumsnet now he is 3 he is well practised and is fine, luckily never had an issue.

A 4yo is perfectly fine to be let loose in soft play - if you have done the groundwork and actually taught them to behave.

Those on their own at 3-4 are about 50:50, the kids who are ready and the kids who have never had much guidance and climb up the slide, push littler ones off things, hit when someone is in their way yet come out crying themselves. You know if their behaviour is good enough and if they have the patience to wait if a toddler is taking a long time going through a tunnel or something.

It's fine, provided they are generally well behaved and know about turn taking etc. I always sit at the table closest to the entrance to the baby area, in case DC ever runs across to go in there, so I can catch and field them back into the big bit! I think it's only ever happened once 🤣

It’s absolutely fine, my youngest son who is 7 seems to pick up all these littles ones and has a little gang following him😂

It's not just about how your child behaves. Even if they're fine, you never know if they're going to come across someone who is a little bully or gets very physical. You still need to keep an eye out, even if your child is the sweetest thing in the world. There's plenty that aren't.