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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

P1 boy peeing in a bin - more to it ?

32 replies

AleenaM · 20/01/2025 22:59

At pick up teacher said son was very upset at lunch and after buy not willing to tell anyone why, and saying he is not ready. After some time he said to the teacher and I that it's to do with not wanting to do some activity. Now at bedtime after me making jokes about not wanting to do the activity he said it wasn't that, he just said that and he is too scared to tell me why he was upset. After a lot of pushing he said he peed in a bin at the toilet school, but I worry that there could be more to it, like someone asking him to do this, more than just peeing in a bin happening etc. For now I've said thanks for telling me, promised not to tell anyone and said that if he remembers more, he should tell me.

Feel worried that he had made up lie (activity) instead of saying what had happned. Also if it was just peeing in the bin why would he be so upset about it and want to keep it to himself. I also feel he's leaving out details like who else was there and what did they say, ie did they laugh etc (he says they said nothing). For background he is struggling a little bit with boy relationships in primary, including recently an older boy from his composite class putting pressure on him to do /not do things /spend time just with him etc.

Am I just paranoid ? What other questions to ask tomorrow, or what things or red flags to look out for.

OP posts:
AleenaM · 21/01/2025 13:26

thaegumathteth · 21/01/2025 13:10

If you don't trust the school why on Earth are you keeping your son in it? Also did you tell him it was naughty and someone will have had to clean that up?

Because my feeling is that the large majority of schools will be even worse than this and I would put him through a school move to find out even worse issues. this is regarded as one of the good schools in my city but constantly quote staffing issues, children are physically fighting everyday and staff say nothing, injuries are underreported in my opinion, teaching is hectic. He's only in p1 so I am trying to figure out if my expectations following 4 yrs of private nursery are ridiculous, but suppose I can do some visits around town to see other schools.

I don't see what could be achieved by telling school about this other than more shame and labelling my son, because I've seen their actions following other issues brought to their attention.

I don't think I need to tell him he is naughty after an afternoon of him denying to tell anyone at school what happened, calling himself dumb and stupid, crying, refusing to tell me what he did, being scared etc. I did ask if he tried to clean it etc but he was very well aware he did something wrong.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 21/01/2025 15:07

AleenaM · 21/01/2025 13:26

Because my feeling is that the large majority of schools will be even worse than this and I would put him through a school move to find out even worse issues. this is regarded as one of the good schools in my city but constantly quote staffing issues, children are physically fighting everyday and staff say nothing, injuries are underreported in my opinion, teaching is hectic. He's only in p1 so I am trying to figure out if my expectations following 4 yrs of private nursery are ridiculous, but suppose I can do some visits around town to see other schools.

I don't see what could be achieved by telling school about this other than more shame and labelling my son, because I've seen their actions following other issues brought to their attention.

I don't think I need to tell him he is naughty after an afternoon of him denying to tell anyone at school what happened, calling himself dumb and stupid, crying, refusing to tell me what he did, being scared etc. I did ask if he tried to clean it etc but he was very well aware he did something wrong.

I think a school just accepting that children might pee in the bin and not doing anything about it is not acceptable. As a pp pointed out, somebody has to clean that up. It's not OK. I am a retired teacher and if a there was an incident resulting in any kind of bodily fluids we would tell the caretaker and cleaners so they could deal with it appropriately.

Your other examples are also bad. This school sounds terrible.

Han86 · 21/01/2025 15:10

School should be aware to talk to the children about respecting the property. It is not ok for children to use the bin.
If your child has seen someone else do this and is now copying them, then he needs to be told no, and the teacher informed about what he saw. Maybe the school need to be aware of this as a silly trend going on, maybe a challenge. They need to put a stop to it.
Also as mentioned, this needs proper sanitising, not just a quick bin bag change. It is dirty and unhygienic.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 21/01/2025 15:11

If this is (potentially) the second time that your son has been sexually coerced, why do you think this sort of thing is happening to him ?

AleenaM · 21/01/2025 18:23

Calmhappyandhealthy · 21/01/2025 15:11

If this is (potentially) the second time that your son has been sexually coerced, why do you think this sort of thing is happening to him ?

Don't know, you tell me

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CaptainMyCaptain · 21/01/2025 18:31

If you think he is being coerced to do this it is really important to contact the school and find out what is happening.

AleenaM · 21/01/2025 19:00

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/01/2025 18:31

If you think he is being coerced to do this it is really important to contact the school and find out what is happening.

I think he isn't as he said he had seen a boy whom he doesn't know at all do it before.

The previous incident was not at school

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