I know I’m not unreasonable, but posting here to be seen by those who need it most. Yes this is partly inspired by seeing several threads recently by women finding themselves in horrific situations where men they trusted with everything turn out to be untrustworthy.
However, I actually want to tell you about my lovely trustworthy dad, and the position my mum is now facing. They have been happily married for well over fifty years, and are both approaching 80. They are both having health problems, as people often do at that age, dad’s becoming noticeably more serious though. Unless something very unexpected happens, she’s going to outlive him.
Being practical sort of people they are making preparations for this eventuality. Making sure all finances are in joint names and she has any passwords etc. Mostly it’s not too problematic, but they’ve hit on the rather tricky point that she has never had car insurance in her own name. They have two cars, but for some reason it was cheaper to have them both in his name so they made the financially sensible decision at the time. She’s been driving for over fifty years, I don’t think she’s ever had an accident that was her fault, but because all the no claims is in my dad’s name, companies won’t accept this. Trying to get car insurance for the first time at her age and with no no claims history has been stressful. I’m so glad she’s sorting it now though, rather than be dealing with it at the same time as lots of other stress when the time comes. If he’d suddenly died in the last few years she’d have been unable to access a lot of their shared money, and also unable to drive.
It’s an awful thing to think about, but even the most wonderful trustworthy men can leave you through no fault of their own.