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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help needed 70th birthday

3 replies

Livi85 · 20/01/2025 19:50

I need your help please everyone. I have posted here for traffic and I know you guys give good advice

it’s my mums 70th birthday coming up and I need ideas of what to do. I am 1 of her 4 children. Me and my brother speak but my brother and I detest our 2 sisters, and they equally detest each other!! My mum is quite close to 1 of the sisters but the other sister has moved quite far away. I know both sisters will not have even thought about planning anything for my mum and my brother is actually going away on holiday at tea time the day of her birthday!!! I’m just feeding all this information because a family get together is definitely out of the question. I really wanted to take my mum away somewhere special but due to unexpected bills I have absolutely zero available funds to treat her :-( my brother has suggested breakfast/lunch at a local pub but this just seems like a cop out and not special at all. I was even thinking maybe taking her somewhere shopping but she can’t walk very far as she has issues so I feel this would be a bit of a wasted time. I just really don’t know what to do and need helpful ideas please.
aibu to feel like a terrible daughter for not being able to even come up with a special day for my mum

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 20/01/2025 20:08

Do you know what your mother would prefer? If I were your mum, I would cringe at the thought of anyone organising anything "special" for me, and thus I'd make sure I'd gone somewhere far away from everyone.
I have always told my husband that I consider a "surprise party" to be justifiable grounds for divorce!
I accept that your mother may not be the same as me, but it's much more adult to simply ask her. Theatre tickets? Lunch or dinner in a good restaurant? Trip to the races? What would she like to do?

TheSandgroper · 21/01/2025 07:57

Brunch with your brother and then bring her home to you for the night. Cook a nice dinner with a snazzy dessert.

username299 · 21/01/2025 08:02

I would organise afternoon tea. Either go to a local cafe or arrange it at home. Pastries, dainty sandwiches, scones and her favourite tea.

Watch one of her favourite films afterwards or do something else she enjoys.

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