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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of people thinking vegetarian eat fish

333 replies

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 13:52

Also, people who eat fish but not meat calling themselves vegetarian!

When people find out I’m vegetarian, a lot of people ask me if I eat fish. If I ate fish, then I wouldn’t be vegetarian! It wasn’t a big deal really, but an incident has happened recently where I was choosing a meal for a wedding and there was only meat options and a “none of these due to dietary preferences” option. So I ticked that. The person then contacted DH (it’s his friend who is getting married) and he explained I’m vegetarian. A few days later she said not to worry, they have sorted a fish meal for me. So he’s now had to go back to her again saying I don’t eat fish. What a faff!

I honestly thought it was common knowledge that vegetarians don’t eat fish. But apparently not because i get asked it a lot.

OP posts:
meganorks · 20/01/2025 17:05

You are being unreasonable to have a moan and rant about it to be honest. Because the people to blame are the people who aren't vegetarian but call themselves that anyway. I know quite a lot of them, and i don't think i've ever heard any of them refer to themselves as pescetarian. So after a while it only seems natural to ask.

ForRealCat · 20/01/2025 17:06

Coldanddamp · 20/01/2025 17:03

Plenty of vegetarians pick & choose eg eat sweets. gravy, etc

For my ex it was yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes. Wouldn't matter if a menu described them as goose fat, or beef dripping he'd happily grab them off your plate because he shouldn't "miss out". Despite being "vegetarian for 30 years"

Greyish2025 · 20/01/2025 17:07

ShinyHappyPeople23 · 20/01/2025 17:00

Well there are some confused pescatarians out there. No confused vegetarians.

It also isn’t unheard of for some ‘vegetarians’ to occasionally ‘treat’ themselves and have a little bit of bacon

Vegetarian 99% of the time, except for the odd ‘treat’😂

MintsPi · 20/01/2025 17:07

My late grandmother always asked me as a vegetarian if I ate fish as my uncle's then girlfriend claimed to be vegetarian but ate fish. I am surprised how many people on this thread think fish doesn't count. I wouldn't expect people to know about rennet, gelatine or cochineal but it is obvious fish are animals.

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:09

The thing is, words have meanings. You can’t just change the definition of something to suit you. It doesn’t matter if you only eat tuna once a year, if you eat flesh, from any kind of animal, you aren’t vegetarian. You wouldn’t say “I’m tee total and only drink vodka” would you?!

You either consume it, or you don’t. There’s no grey area. It’s so simple.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 20/01/2025 17:10

meganorks · 20/01/2025 17:05

You are being unreasonable to have a moan and rant about it to be honest. Because the people to blame are the people who aren't vegetarian but call themselves that anyway. I know quite a lot of them, and i don't think i've ever heard any of them refer to themselves as pescetarian. So after a while it only seems natural to ask.

No, in the OPs case the problem is that having clearly asked for 'vegetarian' food, anyone providing the meals should know that does not mean fish. If a person asking for a vegetarian meal is, in fact, a pescatarian then they'd still be able to eat an actual vegetarian meal.

Housewife2010 · 20/01/2025 17:11

If a pescetarian doesn't want to describe themselves as such, why don't they just say that they don't eat meat?

Greyish2025 · 20/01/2025 17:11

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:09

The thing is, words have meanings. You can’t just change the definition of something to suit you. It doesn’t matter if you only eat tuna once a year, if you eat flesh, from any kind of animal, you aren’t vegetarian. You wouldn’t say “I’m tee total and only drink vodka” would you?!

You either consume it, or you don’t. There’s no grey area. It’s so simple.

That’s stating the obvious though

GutsyShark · 20/01/2025 17:11

DP is vegetarian, not so many issues with fish but lots of restaurants who don’t understand that Parmesan isn’t vegetarian.

ForRealCat · 20/01/2025 17:12

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:09

The thing is, words have meanings. You can’t just change the definition of something to suit you. It doesn’t matter if you only eat tuna once a year, if you eat flesh, from any kind of animal, you aren’t vegetarian. You wouldn’t say “I’m tee total and only drink vodka” would you?!

You either consume it, or you don’t. There’s no grey area. It’s so simple.

You mean like milk; an opaque white fluid rich in fat and protein, secreted by female mammals for the nourishment of their young.

Or steak; high-quality beef taken from the hindquarters of the animal, typically cut into thick slices that are cooked by grilling or frying.

or cheese; a food made from the pressed curds of milk, firm and elastic or soft and semi-liquid in texture.

Vegetarians and vegans have been happily trashing word meaning for years.

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:12

meganorks · 20/01/2025 17:05

You are being unreasonable to have a moan and rant about it to be honest. Because the people to blame are the people who aren't vegetarian but call themselves that anyway. I know quite a lot of them, and i don't think i've ever heard any of them refer to themselves as pescetarian. So after a while it only seems natural to ask.

Yes you’re right, it’s not really the fault of the people asking. It’s the people who eat fish calling themselves vegetarian who are creating the problem. However I do think that if someone calls themselves vegetarian then others shouldn’t ask, just assume they mean what they say. If they have a problem with it, then they shouldn’t go around calling themselves vegetarian when they’re not

OP posts:
Coldanddamp · 20/01/2025 17:13

@ForRealCat exactly

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:13

ErrolTheDragon · 20/01/2025 17:10

No, in the OPs case the problem is that having clearly asked for 'vegetarian' food, anyone providing the meals should know that does not mean fish. If a person asking for a vegetarian meal is, in fact, a pescatarian then they'd still be able to eat an actual vegetarian meal.

Yes exactly, thank you

OP posts:
NormaleKartoffeln · 20/01/2025 17:14

I'm mainly vegetarian but do eat some meats on occasion. I confuse people.
Sorry. 🤣

Caroparo52 · 20/01/2025 17:15

Running joke in our family. Family member always says does x eat fish?
No she's vegetarian

Fetburzswefg · 20/01/2025 17:16

My son is a vegetarian and recently didn’t get a hot meal at nursery because the ‘vegetarian’ option was fish pie.

I know a lot of people who call themselves veggies but still eat fish - they’re muddying the waters!

Alina3 · 20/01/2025 17:16

I blame the pescetarians pretending to be vegetarian. They really confuse people who don't know much about it.

I've been vegan 20+yr and still get asked if I eat honey. You're not alone!

Maverickess · 20/01/2025 17:18

RampantIvy · 20/01/2025 16:45

It's frustrating, but at least the people who ask are finding out rather than making an assumption and risking getting it wrong.

I would just make the assumption that someone was a genuine vegetarian.

Which will usually get you an eye roll and an 'education' from someone who believes they're right that eating fish comes under being a vegetarian, because that's what they want to call themselves.
Those asking for clarification - to you know, give you the information/food you want aren't the problem.

Greyish2025 · 20/01/2025 17:21

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:09

The thing is, words have meanings. You can’t just change the definition of something to suit you. It doesn’t matter if you only eat tuna once a year, if you eat flesh, from any kind of animal, you aren’t vegetarian. You wouldn’t say “I’m tee total and only drink vodka” would you?!

You either consume it, or you don’t. There’s no grey area. It’s so simple.

How would you respond on the ever growing issue regarding cruelty to vegetables and the barbaric way in which they are savagely plucked from the earth and brutally slaughtered for the consumption of humans,

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 20/01/2025 17:24

I'm an omnivore, but this really annoys me too.

I also don't get the distinction between 'eating meat' or 'eating fish' - it's all meat.

You just need to either say that you're a pescatarian or "The only meat that I eat is fish".

Greyish2025 · 20/01/2025 17:25

NormaleKartoffeln · 20/01/2025 17:14

I'm mainly vegetarian but do eat some meats on occasion. I confuse people.
Sorry. 🤣

No need to apologise, you do you 😂

Nameychangington · 20/01/2025 17:28

ForRealCat · 20/01/2025 17:12

You mean like milk; an opaque white fluid rich in fat and protein, secreted by female mammals for the nourishment of their young.

Or steak; high-quality beef taken from the hindquarters of the animal, typically cut into thick slices that are cooked by grilling or frying.

or cheese; a food made from the pressed curds of milk, firm and elastic or soft and semi-liquid in texture.

Vegetarians and vegans have been happily trashing word meaning for years.

Eh?

It's not the vegetarians or vegans who have been 'trashing word meaning for years' it's the non veggie/vegans claiming to be veggie/vegan when they're not. The meat eaters made the issue and the fallout only impacts the veggies, and not the people who caused the confusion.

See also, the definition of the word 'woman'....

notprincehamlet · 20/01/2025 17:28

it was “corn fed” and therefore suitable for vegetarians!
Grin
Obviously a corn-fed chicken isn't suitable for vegetarians. Unless of course it died in its sleep of old age ...😈

eightIsNewNine · 20/01/2025 17:31

Dearaugust · 20/01/2025 17:09

The thing is, words have meanings. You can’t just change the definition of something to suit you. It doesn’t matter if you only eat tuna once a year, if you eat flesh, from any kind of animal, you aren’t vegetarian. You wouldn’t say “I’m tee total and only drink vodka” would you?!

You either consume it, or you don’t. There’s no grey area. It’s so simple.

And the meaning of words can be slightly floating depending on the situation.

I run an event where people sign up for standard or vegetarian food for the whole week (not for individual meals, it just isn't doable).

Typically 3/4 of people signed up for vegetarian food aren't actual vegetarians. Which is ok, the kitchen just prepares required number of portions for our group. They don't call themselves vegetarians.

However, when I communicate about the numbers with the kitchen before the event, the chef will ask me "so, how many vegetarians do you have?" And I say 20. I don't say 5 vegetarians plus another 15 who are not, but prefer vegetarian menu for the week, some pescetarians, some reductarians, some curious, some opportunists (hoping that the food with less portions cooked will be better quality).

And when they pick up their food, all of them will ask for the veggie portion and not muddy the waters if someone from the staff labels them vegetarians based on that.
And some of them will take a bit of ham or sausage at the breakfast buffet (which is confirmed to be ok from volume perspective).

notprincehamlet · 20/01/2025 17:35

There’s no grey area.
Pineapple fish?

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