Child maintenance help

[FairfightMum]

I’m sorry If already discussed but new to Mumsnet.
my ex partner and I had a financial agreement set up but he’s now stopped paying.
I’ve looked at csa/cms and the amount they’ve suggested is no where near going to cover the costs of my 2 children’s needs.
Uc had told me I HAVE to do 30 hours and earn over £1550 per month every month regardless of school holidays, sickness etc.( I’m self employed hairdresser)
my work is generated from out of school work hours.
i already have the children in childcare twice.a Week,which I have to pay 15% towards(uc cover rest) but now I’m going to have to pay private childcare for me to be able to work after 5.30 pm.
The ex had moved 45 mins away so refuses to take the children to his place, so had been dropping them home by 6 pm. I work till 8.30 pm those nights. So that’s not working.
I don’t want him In my house anymore to do the childcare.
But it seems the csa/cma won’t take the extra childcare into consideration?!
therefore earning what uc has requested I earn EVERY month is going to be almost impossible!
I feel so stressed and like a sinking ship.
i have a mortgage and I’m the only parent providing a secure home for them( he moved in with me).
he’s moved back in with his ex but got a different girlfriend 1/2 his age! (Him 52) that he introduced to our children ( without my knowing until he’d dine it!) 3 weeks after he moved out. Confused the kids like u wouldn’t believe!
It makes me so cross that he can be classed and have rights as a ‘father’ but can pay very little towards the REAL costs of having children and see them very little aswell!
grinds my shit tbh

You'll just be expected to get a job that fits better around your family life. That's life as a single parent. You could try a different approach and offer to do visits to care homes or holiday camps etc to get more daytime clients.Otherwise a different job during the week and hairdresser work the weekend days he has them until they are older.

Child maintenance never has been and never will be anywhere near the amount (or even 50% of the amount) it actually costs to raise a child if you add in childcare costs.

However, UC have a point. You need a job in school hours, otherwise your children will never see you, and you’d be sitting doing nothing while you have the ‘free childcare’ of school.

You are not being unreasonable because its unfair, but no CMS don't take into account childcare and age of Chile, or even previous financial contributions. Just use their calculator which is a drop in the ocean. My childcare bill is over 1k a month (this includes applying the 30 "free" hours) and I get £180 a month from exh. Its unfair, but childcare costs are temporary and you need to do everything you can to be financially independent so you can provide for your family x

You are not being unreasonable, absent fathers get off lightly.

But there is not much you can realistically do about that.

You can realistically negotiate with UC. You need to set out the problems you are having working 30hours, complete with timetables of the kids, the additional childcare costs that UC won't cover, etc. If you can make them understand why 30h is unfeasable for you right now, you can get your expected hours reduced, which will in turn reduce your minimum income floor.

They may come back with suggestions on how to fix the issue and work 30h, you'd need a good reason why their suggestions aren't plausible.

Is this to do with the minimum income floor for self employed? So uc are going to treat you as having an income of 30xmw irrespective of your actual income and this is leaving you short?

You'll just be expected to get a job that fits better around your family life.

This. Get a different job that overlaps more with school hours to reduce your childcare issues. Most parents of younger children don't work evenings unless they have a partner working during day & are doing it to limit childcare cost.

Its not only their fathers job to provide financially, you need to as well. He should be helping with childcare/childcare costs.

If you're a hairdresser why aren't you working during school hours? More convenient for you, more convenient for your clients.

YANBU, but that's that reality of being a single parent. It's shit. It's never ending. And NRPs get away with the bare minimum.

I’m self employed hairdresser) my work is generated from out of school work hours.

Why? What are you doing during school hours?

You aren't unreasonable that it's disgraceful that some men don't pay for their children including your ex. But then you go on to question why you should pay for them either. You're an adult, take responsibility for your own expenses. If the hairdressing was a viable career then you would be able to set your own hours or earn a lot more. Time to try something else; 30 hours easily fits into school time, and clubs can give you even more working hours if you want them. Get a job while the kids are at school and after school clubs, retail would be a better fit.

Why aren’t you working in the school day?

my hairdressers little boy is at school today as are my two. She’s coming over at 9.15 for a half head of highlights! Why on earth aren’t you working the bulk of your hours when you have free ie school childcare? That seems madness.

build that business up as quickly as you can. Contact playgroups or soft plays. Can you bob in with a stall and advertise and go mobile so you can see busy mums at home? Lots of people need that. Or the elderly. Basically people who are free during the day. That way your evenings will be freer to enjoy your kids (can work late if they are at their dads)

as for CMS not is certainly isn’t half but get your application in asap!

The system is crap unfortunately. CMS worked out my ex husband had to pay £14 per week for our two DC. He won't even pay that and despite being on the collect and pay option with CMS they haven't been able to get any money from him either. I'm a nurse but can't work nights/ weekends etc so have a community job that works around the children.

Can you work during school hours also? How old are your children, could you have clients come to the house out of school hours if the children are old enough to amuse themselves? It's not really clear from your op how/when you work?