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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher teaching my DC6 about apartheid - AIBU

69 replies

Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:28

So my recently turned 6 year old told me that his teacher told him white people and black people were treated differently in Africa and that white people were treated better.
It's important my son learns about the world but at an appropriate age. My son has never identified people by colour and now suddenly he is aware of people's skin colour.
I am furious!!! And will be speaking to the headteacher Monday.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Elasticatedtrousers · 19/01/2025 21:41

Honestly, talk about a mountain out of a mole hill. This is absolutely appropriate and taught in ks1 frequently and discussed using age appropriate language.

Some of the nonsense parents will complain about...

LoyalGreenHam · 19/01/2025 21:41

Please don't speak to the headteacher tomorrow. These people have actual problems to deal with and don't need you taking up their time with your misplaced, privileged outrage.

Ponderingwindow · 19/01/2025 21:42

We teach our children history, even though it is painful. It can be done in an age appropriate manner.

from a societal perspective, it is one of the most important subjects students will follow. They need to understand how we became the people we are today and how we as a society can avoid repeating our mistakes.

these lessons are often not taken to heart. People think history doesn’t apply to them or that it couldn’t happen again, but they are clearly mistaken.

Quinlan · 19/01/2025 21:42

Teacher isn’t the problem in this situation. You are going to sound unhinged. Do not speak to anyone at the school about this. Just… wow.

Purpleturtle46 · 19/01/2025 21:42

Gosh I hope it wasn't me, I did a similar thing the other day! Been teaching 20 years and it never crossed my mind anyone would have a problem with it! It's factual and not at all inappropriate as long as not going into details and explaining in an age appropriate way!

Greywhippet · 19/01/2025 21:43

Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:28

So my recently turned 6 year old told me that his teacher told him white people and black people were treated differently in Africa and that white people were treated better.
It's important my son learns about the world but at an appropriate age. My son has never identified people by colour and now suddenly he is aware of people's skin colour.
I am furious!!! And will be speaking to the headteacher Monday.
AIBU?

Mad. Hopefully the head teacher will laugh you out of their office

EMary12345 · 19/01/2025 21:43

We actively teach protected characteristics from the day they arrive in school - colour of skin is part of this. Our y2 children have a history topic looking at "movers and shakers" which includes Rosa Parks. I love that they are so shocked as it means they don't share the beliefs.

Maddy70 · 19/01/2025 21:43

That's appropriate what are you trying to bring up with the school?

Original poster
Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:43

So for everyone saying I am unreasonable. This was a supply teacher my son has never seen before or heard of since.
We are "people of colour" and my son understands we all have different colour skin tones but we have educated him in a way that he understands - that we are all very different. He does not differentiate his friends at school as white or black or other. He is now aware that there are differences where one group may be treated better than others. My son does not need to know this at age 6!!

OP posts:
Hercisback1 · 19/01/2025 21:44

🤦

Whoarethoseguys · 19/01/2025 21:44

I don't understand why you are furious. It's history , it happened and it's important that it is taught in schools. He isn't too young. my grandchildren have been aware that some people judge others based on the colour of their skin since they were 3!

lizzyBennet08 · 19/01/2025 21:44

I'm sure the head teacher could use a bit of a laugh in jan because that's what she will be having at your expense.

Hankunamatata · 19/01/2025 21:45

Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:43

So for everyone saying I am unreasonable. This was a supply teacher my son has never seen before or heard of since.
We are "people of colour" and my son understands we all have different colour skin tones but we have educated him in a way that he understands - that we are all very different. He does not differentiate his friends at school as white or black or other. He is now aware that there are differences where one group may be treated better than others. My son does not need to know this at age 6!!

But he does need to know this- white privilege and all that. This crap about i don't see colour. We should see colour and acknowledge that skin colour can cause people to be treated differently

Bessienol · 19/01/2025 21:45

if you ever wonder why teachers are leaving the profession in droves…..

PlumpUpTheJam · 19/01/2025 21:46

My son does not need to know this at age 6!!

Of course he does! Are you waiting for someone to shout something at him when he's on the slide at the park and then tell him about racism.

adviceneeded1990 · 19/01/2025 21:46

Hankunamatata · 19/01/2025 21:45

But he does need to know this- white privilege and all that. This crap about i don't see colour. We should see colour and acknowledge that skin colour can cause people to be treated differently

Show quote history

Exactly! It’s actually very remiss as a parent to not have had these conversations before now!

curious51dog · 19/01/2025 21:47

You are completely unreasonable. It doesn't matter if it's a supply teacher or a regular teacher. They are teaching a prescribed curriculum. Schools have enough to deal with without you wasting the time of the head teacher with this nonsense.

FarmGirl78 · 19/01/2025 21:47

This reply has been deleted

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Topseyt123 · 19/01/2025 21:48

I don't see the issue. This was absolutely a fact and there is no point in pretending otherwise.

Why the fuck do you think your child is unaware of the skin colour of others. Presumably he has eyes and can see.

I think the teacher was absolutely factual and age appropriate here. I see no reason for your fury, nor any need to descend on the headteacher.

You are being ridiculous. Get a grip.

amispeakingintongues · 19/01/2025 21:48

YABU. He's always been aware of people's skin colour. He has only just become aware of racism. The two are so different.

He's been privileged so far to only just learn of the concept. My son was 2 when he started saying a boy in his class called him "light brown" as a way of excluding him from his mainly white class.

JandamiHash · 19/01/2025 21:48

YABU

And of course he realises people have different skin colours. My kids were barely even toddlers when they’d (loudly) point it out including “that lady has a pink face” 🫨

TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity · 19/01/2025 21:49

Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:43

So for everyone saying I am unreasonable. This was a supply teacher my son has never seen before or heard of since.
We are "people of colour" and my son understands we all have different colour skin tones but we have educated him in a way that he understands - that we are all very different. He does not differentiate his friends at school as white or black or other. He is now aware that there are differences where one group may be treated better than others. My son does not need to know this at age 6!!

You've done your son a huge disservice nd the teacher has done him a massive favour.

My dc and I aren't white and I've made damned sure they know their history and prepared them for any problems.

Your son may not identify people by colour, but you can be damned sure other people do.

AlmosttimeforChristmas · 19/01/2025 21:52

Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:43

So for everyone saying I am unreasonable. This was a supply teacher my son has never seen before or heard of since.
We are "people of colour" and my son understands we all have different colour skin tones but we have educated him in a way that he understands - that we are all very different. He does not differentiate his friends at school as white or black or other. He is now aware that there are differences where one group may be treated better than others. My son does not need to know this at age 6!!

I completely agree OP. I wonder how many of the people disagreeing with you on this thread both assumed you and your child are white and are white themselves. My child is not white. 60% of his classmates are not white. Age 6 is not the age to have this kind of information shared at school. I think year 3 would be more appropriate. Genuinely, my 6 year old currently has no conception that anyone would ever think less of him for not being white. I would feel as upset as you do but edited to add, don’t go in to the school with all guns blazing. Try to have a calm conversation so you can get your thoughts and views across

Topseyt123 · 19/01/2025 21:53

Stargazingmummy · 19/01/2025 21:43

So for everyone saying I am unreasonable. This was a supply teacher my son has never seen before or heard of since.
We are "people of colour" and my son understands we all have different colour skin tones but we have educated him in a way that he understands - that we are all very different. He does not differentiate his friends at school as white or black or other. He is now aware that there are differences where one group may be treated better than others. My son does not need to know this at age 6!!

Yes, he does need to know. You're still being monumentally unreasonable.

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