Hi guys.
the family and I have had a big argument with wedding plans today which is happening in 3 weeks. I’m getting married and Both our parents have passed away, more recently my parters mum who he was extremely close to. We plan on having a photo of her at the wedding on a table during the ceremony. As both my parents have passed away I wanted to put a photo of my dad during the ceremony too. The reason behind is that I had a much better relationship with my dad. My mum and dad broke up when I was 10 and I never saw him until I left the family home at 17. I lived with my mum and step dad. What the family don’t know is that I was SA from 12 by my step dad. When him and my mum broke up I found out she had an idea but didn’t say anything or protect me. None of the family know of this. I have had therapy and have recovered. My gran, brother and sister don’t know. My gran, brother and sister know nothing of this, this was 20 years ago and protected this information from them. I’m now classed as insensitive for not having a photo of my mum on the table with my dad. They know my mum was also physically abusive towards myself and brother excluding my sister. She had a totally different up bringing than me. I just don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve to “get over it” I’m being “insensitive” but they don’t know about the SA which is the main reason my mum isn’t on that table. I just can’t forgive her. I’m now 40. My mum broke up with my step dad when I was 17 but I just won’t forgive her for admitting what she did. How do I go about this? I don’t want to upset the family and allow the secret to come but I’ve became the bad guy for hiding a dirty family secret. I want to have a good reason why my mums not there or do I stop protecting my mums legacy. I really don’t want to hurt feelings but my feelings are being hurt.