To have suspended my sons sim card.

[Discodance1988]

I'm feeling majorly conflicted and mum guilt right now..

I've made the choice to call my network provider and suspend my sons (15) contract sim card. This was decided after a whole week of him being vile to me. I've threatened in the past to cancel the contract but never did it. I've had years of him being disrespectful and calling me names and acting like he's the one in charge and disobeying every rule and stampeding over any boundary I set. So today I made a stand. Now he's moaning because his 6th form applications are registered to that number but the number is basically not in service unless I reinstate the sim card by calling the network provider. Which I am not going to do, until I see a major improvement In how he treats me/speaks to me.

He has got the option of a PAYG sim which is already here to use, so he isn't cut off from the world. It's just a different phone number.

Have I done the right thing? I never seem to know anymore.

Also for what it's worth i plan on cancelling the entire contract in December I just can't afford to pay £300+ to cancel it entirely right now in one go.

Physically removing the phone is a no go as well, he will literally run away. He's also talle4 than me and stronger than me.

Im confused

You've cancelled one sim but are giving him another?

Is the other low on credit so can only be used in emergencies? Sorry, don't understand

I think it's time to involve the police if he's threatening to run away. Give him a Nokia and tell him it's all he's getting

And you sound afraid of your safety? The kids these days are encouraged by Andrew tate and these podcast men to disrespect single mums and this is the result.

Is there a man you can ask to step in?

If not, I'd call the police and social services. There's no shame in reaching out if the only other option is him going off the rails

Best of luck, op ❤️

(Sorry, I've assumed you're a single mum. If his dad is around, I'd leave this with him).

I don’t understand why a new sim in his phone is a punishment?
Inconvenient but not the end of the world. I would also support communication re his A levels.
You are right to stick to what you said re consequences but I’m not sure this is the best one to choose.

@mumofoneAlonebutokay I'm not scared of him and he's never been physically violent towards me either, I was just giving context as to why I can't take the physical phone off him. The thing is practically superglued to his person.

Basically he will use what the past early help worker has said and the school about being contactable in emergencies and able to contact people in emergencies against me so I have to give him a PAYG sim in the interim but it I don't have to top it up if he doesn't do his chores/treat me with respect if that makes sense?

So one is on contract with unlimited everything calls/texts/data that's the one that's been suspended, the other one is PAYG and isn't unlimited in fact it's very limited in comparison to what his contract is.

He's under CAMHS and I have reported to police in past when he's ran away. They have always said to not take the phone away because that's the cause of it happening. So even the police basically had his back with that.

This is more to show him that he can't keep treating me like he is doing and expect me to just shut up and put up, I've told him if he majorly changes how he treats me I will reinstate the contract sim it's his choice now.

@caramac04 he is able to update his phone number on the application or he could literally walk around to the 6th form block as its attached to the school he currently attends. He can easily give a new number out. He's just lazy and doesn't want to have to do that. Once the contract is cancelled in December he can have the original number he uses now turned into PAYG.

Unfortunately there has been nothing that's worked in terms of removing things like consoles etc and maybe now he doesn't have a contract sim he will wake up to see that his behaviour is appalling and make the relevant changes. He is after all very goal driven so if he wants his contract back he knows what he has to do.

Thank you OP for extra info. I now think YANBU.
I completely understand how difficult teenagers can be and how frustrating their selfish and self destructive behaviour can be.
Can I just say, gently and with no knowledge of how you interact with him on a daily basis, that if you can find, every day, one positive thing you can say to him you might well find him becoming less negative towards you.
You will probably need to be hyper vigilant in spotting praiseworthy acts by him but it could be just that you think he looks nice in that hoodie/colour etc. If a miracle occurs and he brings a dirty cup down, despite an overflowing bin and mouldy bowls in his room, thank him for that one cup.
Teenagers often feel the world is against them and nothing is fair so a bit of praise can boost their confidence.