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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another MIL one

4 replies

Shruggs · 19/01/2025 15:15

NC and changed some details.

Not sure who is BU here. MIL seems to be ignoring me and DH ever since I visited hers earlier in the week. I picked DD (2) up from nursery, and went to get DS (4 months) from MIL’s where she’s been looking after him so I could go to a class. I popped in for 5 minutes so MIL and FIL could see DD but said I couldn’t stop and needed to get back for DD’s nap. The week earlier she had refused to nap after I’d hung around MIL’s after nursery, and I’d had an afternoon of hell with both babies, so I didn’t want a repeat of this and wanted to get home at a good time to settle them both.

MIL just pursed her lips and FIL was in the process of getting toys out for DD to play with. They know that, at half 12, DD needed lunch, DS needed a bottle and both needed a sleep- it’s the same every day - so I don’t know why they were acting like I was being difficult. We live 5 minutes away so it was just easier to put them in the car to get home at a good time for them to settle.

Anyway, they’ve barely spoke to us since and haven’t visited the kids this weekend, like they usually do.

MIL also keeps telling me I need to
ask her to help out more (DM helps me out with them on her days off and we get out to parks, soft play, etc) but whenever I ask her, she makes a deal of rearranging hair appointments, meals with friends etc that she’s booked in, so I rarely ask and wait for her to offer - she never does.

AIBU to have taken the kids home when I did? Should I have let DD play there for an hour, so she could spend time with her grandparents, despite the fact we’d have had a hellish afternoon?

OP posts:
Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 19/01/2025 15:18

You do what's best for your dc not a grown woman. . Pandering to that shit will only feed her entitled manner..... She's cut off her nose to spite her face imo. Leave her to it. In fact dh can manage any relationship going forward .. She won't dare criticise him I bet....

Shruggs · 19/01/2025 18:04

Yep just trying to make life easier for us all. It annoys me that she always says how she never sees them but never pops in considering she lives 10 minutes away and regularly drives straight past our house to get places. Neither she or FIL work or have hobbies so it’s not like they’re super busy and can’t call in.

OP posts:
Sixtop · 19/01/2025 18:08

You’re overthinking this. Just do what works best for you and the children. Your PIL can use their words if they’re upset about something.

Shruggs · 19/01/2025 19:19

Sixtop · 19/01/2025 18:08

You’re overthinking this. Just do what works best for you and the children. Your PIL can use their words if they’re upset about something.

Thanks. Yes, I am and you’re absolutely right. It’s the passive aggressive ignoring/comments that really grate on me. This is just another thing in a long list of things. DH is also pissed off with them so I’m leaving him to deal with it now!

OP posts:
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