Work drama

[alexis97]

Hi mums, I need some advice because I am chewing myself up regarding this situation..

I work with my best friend and she is currently on maternity. We have been best friends for 5 years now and have been through so much together.

So we worked at another nursery together before this one, and there was an investigation that I didn't know much about as I had just started the nursery about a staff member handling BF SEN daughter inappropriately.

Fast forward and this staff member has applied to our new setting and is due to interview Thursday, we have a duty of care towards children and my children attend this setting also. I spoke to my best friend and she said twice I could say something to management about this. BF has a friend that also worked with us at the previous setting and now at the new setting. BF then turned around and said that this friend will raise it to management on Monday.

So this friend in particular my BF on many occasions has said that she lies all the time and doesn't trust her as far as she could throw her, I'm sitting knowing there's a potential concern how do I know this friend is even going to raise it?

Best friend is now annoyed that I said something and didn't let this other person say something as they know more and we're a witness to what had happened in the previous setting. But if she was so reliable why would BF say she lies all the time and she's fed up and doesn't believe a word she says? Then to go out for food and act like best friends. I've apologised to her today for overstepping but when my children attend the setting I have to make sure a safeguarding concern is reported.. we've discussed it and she said she knows I haven't done it out of malace but I didn't understand why she's reacted the way she has... I didn't want her returning to work to an upsetting situation and couldn't trust the other person would say something. I think I'm going to take a step back and not help people, all I do is help and it always backfires on me. Im not sure if I should take a step back.

It sounds like there is a whole load of stirring up trouble going on tbh.

This staff member in particular dragged a Sen child through a door. I don't think I'd be comfortable her working with my child who is also Sen. It's my duty of care as a practitioner to raise a concern. If I didn't and something happened it's a bit of a risk I'm not willing to take.

You did the right thing OP. Your friend will know this. She is probably feeling a bit out of control being off, and stressed.

I thought you said you were not involved in the investigation? So all you know is hearsay.

Not sure why you felt you had to say something and not leave to the people involved.

I work in a nursery, I have a duty of care to report something if it's a safeguarding concern. And if they didn't say anything and something happened and I knew about it, it would 100% be on my head. We are always told to report things even if it might seem like it's not a big deal because it can amount to something.

Nurseries are subject to safer recruitment. If there was an investigation at the previous nursery then it will come up on her reference as you have to declare if there have been any previous investigations/disciplinaries/outcomes. You shouldn’t have known about the investigation as that would be confidential and the outcome would be confidential as well. I’m aware that when an investigation is underway that people end up gossiping and speculating, but the reality is you actually don’t know what happened and people quite frankly need to stop and you and your BF need to stop discussing it - your training should clearly state safeguarding concerns should not become workplace gossip, it all should be confidential. If for example a child went home and said you hit them, and the nursery suspended you whilst they take witness statements and check CCTV, you would not want that becoming gossip as it makes it difficult to return if it was proven to be untrue. All you needed to say to management was, please can you check X’s references as I believe she was under investigation at X point. End of discussion, no need to tell your friend, no need to discuss it further.

Friend mentioned it to me, I didn't know about it and she said with her being on maternity she was more than happy for me to raise it and it's a concern so I raised it to management. And the girl left while the investigation was ongoing which means there's no outcome and the previous nursery don't do references just days worked etc. She hasn't interviewed for us yet. When I mentioned it management were thankful as the person in particular starting would have caused a lot of animosity for the team we have. I made it clear I didn't know what happened in the investigation just what I was told and that I didn't know the ins and outs but to give her the heads up.

First it was kinda hard to follow your ramble.

Yes you have a duty of care but it isn’t for you to discuss. That is what references are for and reporting documentation. You don’t know the ins and outs of the investigation nor do you really know what happened. You are sticking your nose in trying to be helpful with very little information that can be quite damaging to another person.

You don’t know enough about allegations to comment, you did the right thing but actually investigations concerning allegations continue whether you resign or not however just stop talking about it and leave it there. If your friend brings it up, simply say we’re not supposed to be talking about it as per our training and move on. Let the whole thing go.