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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want a Porsche?

115 replies

NaMaStayInBed1 · 19/01/2025 10:40

This is a bit deep so please be kind!

I grew up in a council house in the 80s/90s with the housewife Mum and manual low paid worker Dad, all good. In secondary school, I went to a school at the other side of town where most parents owned their house. As I got to 14/15 I began to feel inferior and poor, my school trousers had holes in the crotch whilst my friends wore Tammy Girl. I went on to have a child at 18 and threw myself into being a Mum and fighting the stereotype of a teen Mum, would go to many baby groups. Because of my age, I again felt inferior and I was a size 20 so lacked confidence. I later went to Uni and have a fantastic career and have lost weight and feel good. Still don't own my home but live in a lovely area, we may buy but mortgage rates and economic instability have put us off - rent is cheap and we dont have to worry about unexpected repairs.

I currently drive an Audi, and previously a Merc. I'm looking at my next car and want to step up in prestige so for a long time have said it would be a Porsche family car.

I heard someone say the other day on TV "stop spending money on things you don't need to impress people you don't like" and it has made me question my motives!

TLDR: My career and car make me feel like I can hold my head up high. Things that need me feel inferior: growing up in a council house at school with mostly fanilies who owned their homes, being a teen Mum, being obese. I am very proud of my career and now want a Porsche to replace my Audi. I have always felt that people have looked down on me/had an inferiority complex and things like this grow my confidence.

YABU: you probably don't really want a Porsche, you are just trying to impress people

YANBU: A Porsche is a sign of doing well and will make you feel good to reach a new goal

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 19/01/2025 10:42

If I didn’t own my own home then I wouldn’t be spending money on fast expensive cars personally.

CandyLeBonBon · 19/01/2025 10:42

You'd be better off spending the money on therapy to deal with your crippling insecurities.

You've done well for yourself but instead your need for external validation is your entire identity. THAT's very unhealthy and very unsustainable. If you lose your job or get a health issue that stops you working, your entire identity goes out of the window.

Hoppinggreen · 19/01/2025 10:44

Can you easily afford one?
If so get one but only if it will make you happy. It doesn't matter if it makes you happy because you think its impressing people, if it makes you happy the reason doesn't matter.
I would say though that its not as impressive as it used to be due to all these PCP and Lease schemes that make cars more affordable. I see plenty of Porsches in my not so posh Northern town.
BUT if you want one and can afford it why not?

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 19/01/2025 10:45

If you can afford it do it. You know 2nd hand ones are affordable right?

pizzaHeart · 19/01/2025 10:45

If you want a Porsche and can afford it - go ahead ( but it seems you don’t as your housing situation is not resolved)
I don’t think buying Porsche will help you, it seems the two previous cars didn’t.

Eyesopenwideawake · 19/01/2025 10:46

Buy a Porsche because you love the look and feel of the car and the simple "OMG, I've got a fucking Porsche!" feeling. Accept that it is ugly, ridiculously expensive to run but will make you grin like an idiot whenever you drive it.

Do not buy a Porsche because of what you think other people think about you.

Therapy is cheaper.

To want a Porsche?
SweedieLie · 19/01/2025 10:50

I currently drive an Audi, and previously a Merc. I'm looking at my next car and want to step up in prestige so for a long time have said it would be a Porsche family car

This doesn't sound like you want one at all.

Tbph, posh expensive cars don't really impress nowadays anyway. Finance is too widespread, they're not a signifier of wealth anymore. Our local Council Estate is full of cars worth ten times what ours is 🤷‍♀️

PeppyTealDuck · 19/01/2025 10:54

Is that the thing that matters the most to you? How about financial stability for your family? Education? Your family provided you that, and most people value that over cars.

kaos2 · 19/01/2025 10:57

Embarrassing to own a Porsche and not a house tbh but if you want it then do it

We have a Porsche and they are expensive to run so bear that in mind .. my dh lives it because he loves cars bling because it validates him though .

YaWeeFurryBastard · 19/01/2025 10:57

No way would I be buying a Porsche (or anything other than a basic functional car) if I didn’t own my own home, and I say this as someone who’s likely to buy a Porsche for our next family car!

Yes cars are nice but they are luxuries once the basics and beyond have been paid for. No way would I prioritise a car over giving my children stability through owning my own home.

TidyDancer · 19/01/2025 11:00

Okay honestly, it doesn't sound like the car is the issue here, it sounds as though you are chasing the next thing that you think will make you look better to other people. That's actually quite sad. In your position I would focus on owning a home and possibly seeking some counselling for how you're feeling.

Bubblesgun · 19/01/2025 11:00

@NaMaStayInBed1

congratulations on doing so amazingly well for yourself. That shows a sheer drive and focus regardless of where it comes from, this is to be celebrated for you by you.

would the car show that? By that I mean looking at yourself in the mirror and telling your younger you “kuddos kid! You ve done very well with your own elbow grease and you should be very very proud”.

i wonder if this would help you more?

at some stage, you re going to have to find a way to get over the stigmas of your upbringing, with or without outside help. You certainly may have had more hurdles than some of what you perceived in your school friends, but they are just that perception because no one what it s like behind closed doors.
you may own your home, but if there is neglect it is tragic anyway.

good luck Op

MrsMoastyToasty · 19/01/2025 11:01

A car will depreciate in value but a house generally increases in value.
A vauxhall or mini gets you from A to B in just the same way a porsche does.
You need to keep to the speed limit, despite the vehicle being able to do 180mph or whatever.
I was a teenager in the 80's. Porsches always remind me of yuppie city types shouting " Ya! Buy! Buy!" into an original brick of a mobile phone

Ringpeace · 19/01/2025 11:08

You sound very insecure.

If you're buying a 'prestige car' so it looks like you've 'made it' you need to know that nobody else really cares about the car you drive.

I live in a well-off area of Cumbria. Nobody here has anything to prove. There are a few 'prestige' cars but there are many more Skoda Yetis, Volvos, Panda 4x4s and very many ageing but well maintained Land/Range Rovers.

Ultimately, it's up to you. But I'd personally be putting my cash into bricks and mortar or investments rather than a depreciating asset.

littlemisssunshine247 · 19/01/2025 11:10

Spend the money buying an asset which will appreciate in value (a house) first before something which will depreciate (the car).

SwedishEdith · 19/01/2025 11:11

Therapy.

You're still tied to childhood insecurities. It's pretty shallow to be impressed by cars. Drive round leafy Cheshire for a bit and you won't be thinking, 'Wow, these are people I aspire to be like '.

boobleblingo · 19/01/2025 11:12

Agree with PPs - buy the house first. Then the car, then the second house...

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 19/01/2025 11:12

A preacher wouldn't impress me. I can see your reasoning though, if it makes you happy do it.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 19/01/2025 11:13

Ffs. Porsche.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 19/01/2025 11:13

I buy nice cars because I like nice cars. Sometimes that means they are expensive, and sometimes they’re not. I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks. Indeed, that’s my approach to buying / doing things in general. But live and let live. I think you’d be surprised how little people actually do notice the car you drive. I’m retired now, but when working you’d see a huge difference between how similarly paid people spent their money, and there’s no right or wrong answer.

But, if the only reason to buy a Porsche (which is owned by the VW Group anyway) is to impress others then I would question whether it’s really the right thing. They are however very nice to drive and live with, so if you value that sufficiently then you don’t need to justify it to anyone IMO.

Titasaducksarse · 19/01/2025 11:16

CandyLeBonBon · 19/01/2025 10:42

You'd be better off spending the money on therapy to deal with your crippling insecurities.

You've done well for yourself but instead your need for external validation is your entire identity. THAT's very unhealthy and very unsustainable. If you lose your job or get a health issue that stops you working, your entire identity goes out of the window.

You couldn't have put into words any better than this. 100% agree.

Namechangedforthis25 · 19/01/2025 11:18

If you had a house I’d say go for it

but at the moment you are paying someone else’s mortgage every month with nothing to show for it long-term and with the potential of financial instability now and when you retire (given you will need to pay rent as a pensioner if you don’t own. T then)?

I would much rather own a piece of the world which will increase in value than an expensive depreciating asset… in fact that’s such common sense

save for the house, keep the merc - and go for the Porsche later once you have the house

personally I have the house and we pay private education for our kids - our next thing is upgrading from our basic car but that was the least of my priorities

Namechangedforthis25 · 19/01/2025 11:18

If you had a house I’d say go for it

but at the moment you are paying someone else’s mortgage every month with nothing to show for it long-term and with the potential of financial instability now and when you retire (given you will need to pay rent as a pensioner if you don’t own. T then)?

I would much rather own a piece of the world which will increase in value than an expensive depreciating asset… in fact that’s such common sense

save for the house, keep the merc - and go for the Porsche later once you have the house

personally I have the house and we pay private education for our kids - our next thing is upgrading from our basic car but that was the least of my priorities

Fetburzswefg · 19/01/2025 11:18

I personally wouldn’t buy a Porsche if I didn’t own my own home yet. That would be my main priority, because it’s so important for future financial security.

People who know that you own a Porsche but rent your home will think that you’re wasting money on financing an expensive car (whether or not that is actually the truth) instead of investing in your future and won’t be impressed.

It sounds like you’ve had a very successful life and have so much to be proud of. You don’t need validation from the kind of people who think flashy cars are a status symbol. Your successes speak for themselves already. Prioritise what will actually secure your future over expensive status symbols.

doyouknowthemuffinman42 · 19/01/2025 11:18

I'm a single mum too (29 with dc 2)
I wanted the Taycan for ages, but I didn't buy it as I had to buy my home first. Mortgage free fortunately, but as my dc is so little I will wait a few years and get the Taycan. Currently looking for a Velar and will get dc dad to pay for it 😄