I have been with my partner for nearly 4 years, he has a 10year old daughter from a previous relationship. When I first met him everything was great, we had a relationship in its own right and I joined in on their family unit as/when it was suitable. Within a couple of months he was desperate to move closer to his daughter, I agreed to move in with them and move to the same town as his daughter and her mum, even though my work and family was elsewhere. It seemed suitable at the time as I didn’t have kids and I could be flexible with my commitments. Once we moved to the area he fully embraced himself in his daughter’s life, activities etc. that wasn’t suitable for me to join in, again this was fine, as it allowed me to spend time on my hobbies and keeping up with my lifestyle pre-moving in. I noticed I was starting to spend a lot of time on my own and felt isolated from my friends and family but also the relationship. But I focused on what I can do with that time. Then things shifted dramatically when we had our own child, she is now 16months. Should mention his daughter lives with us 50% of the time. In the last 16months he’s been totally absent from me and my daughter lives, he only seems to want a relationship or family when his other daughter is there. Weekends when she isn’t there we don’t see him or only for a couple of hours. He’s admitted he has to prioritise his first daughter when she is in the house, he’s said that he was at his most happiest when it was just him and his first daughter when I ask him to help me and the baby. After our daughter was born and I went back to work full time, the distance between childcare and my work become challenging (commuting 15hrs a week), when I asked for a compromise or help with the weekly drop offs, he said he already does enough with his first daughter and if I don’t like where we live, I don’t care about his daughters future. He has a good job and works a way also but only goes away on the days when he doesn’t have his first daughter. Luckily I’ve taken on all the responsibility of our child that this has minimal impact but when he doesn’t come back it’s straight to get his first daughter and spend the weekend with her. When his daughter is not in the house, we sit separately and he just wants to watch sport and drink. I will go and do the bedtime with our daughter and sit on my own. If I ask him to spend time with me and our daughter to try and salvage a relationship or parental relationship he just says horrible things to me about not liking his daughter. To make matters worse I am 6 months pregnant and it’s seems to have made him react worse, last 6 months he’s been out drinking with work and going to ‘house parties’! We are both nearly 40yrs old! I deal with the pregnancy on my own, bought all the baby items and don’t engage with him on the topic. I’ve tried for the last year to voice my concerns and what’s not working but he’s just thinking about him and his first child. After all the fighting, I’ve just shut down to it all and the only way to make this right for me and my children is to leave the ‘relationship’ a term I use loosely. Can anyone offer any advice if I’ve missed trying something? I’ve taken the lead to spend/ book things in just me, him and our child and I find I have to pay for it all, holidays etc. and he doesn’t see that time as us being a family without his child.