To ask what is/ was your 5/6 year old like at home?

[Jellyrose20]

Are they hyper/ calm?
Do they sit down and play/ tear around the house?
Are they quiet/ talkative?

I'm so desperate to know how normal my kids behaviour is.

There's no normal.

DD who was 5 in December is pretty chilled out at home.

But our house is a quiet house, she generally is in the room I'm in. She'll play with Sylvanian families, my little pony, dolls house.

Like to play board games.

Does your child get enough exercise? Limited TV etc?

I have one who is about to turn five so possibly a bit young but he is all of the above 😂 he will do loops of the table, driving me potty, then go and play alone with his toys for 30 mins. He’ll chat incessantly until my husband and I feel like we’re going mad and then he will sit quietly with a book or his tonie box for ages, it’s a weird age

My 6yo DS is generally calm and easily engaged in activities, easy-temperament unless DD riles him up. But i think that has to do with temperament a personality than age. Pre-school DD is a firecracker and doesn’t stop moving or talking and can really be a handful especially in the evenings, and I don’t see that magically changing in a couple years when she turns 5/6.

All of the above! Depends on the day, how much they’ve slept, how hungry/overstimulated/bored they are. If they’ve slept well and eaten well, limited TV… then they’re quite chilled out and 2 YO will happily sit with a puzzle. Tired or overstimulated and they’re bouncing off the walls, climbing etc…

We walk to and from school most days, in the summer play outside and she does swimming and gymnastics at the weekend. We often go for walks at the weekend or to the park.
She gets an half an hour/ hour of TV/ ipad in the week and maybe 2 at the weekend. I'd never put the TV on but it's my husbands first thing no matter how any times I ask him not to.

She will not play on her own, other than if she's drawing and ive done extensive stuff to try and make the areas set up for her play. She's normally bouncing around the living room, talking non stop.
Nothing seems to tire her out haha.
The idea of her sitting playing with her figures is mindblowing.

Probably depends on their nature and how many you have.

We have 1 and a typical weekend at home finds her reading books, doing lego, watching TV, playing games at the table/drawing rather than playing with a toy on the floor like she would as a toddler. She loves singing really loudly and we have dance parties but noise is part of an activity iyswim rather than made from crashing around.

We have an incredibly calm house but we only have one child. She eats well and does a lot of activities in the week so she doesn't really have energy to burn off and doesn't have sugar spikes etc.

I don't think this is due to my perfect parenting btw, I know loads of lovely mums whose kids are lovely and have a rough and tumble nature.

We absolutely do not allow YouTube or other short episodes on the TV because we found it massively affected her behaviour.

So, does she not run around after school or anything? Like go to playground on the way home?

What kind of indoor play does she like to do?

Ds is just 5, he's my third, I had two girls before him. The girls at this age were chilled, chatty and loved role play with dolls etc and it was generally a quiet house. My son at this age... is a nutter 😂.. how can I not say it's a boy thing?! He runs around the house / jumps off sofa / needs a good walk / scoot every day / chats away / plays with lego a lot / magna tiles - a lot of outside play too. Seems the energy levels are hugely higher than my girls but hey that's my experience. Also he finds it very hard to listen and do what he's been asked to do.. ie stop touch that glass thing in the shop.. 😵‍💫

Nearly 5, so maybe a bit younger than what you are asking about.

Are they hyper/ calm?
Hyper if not being engaged with, either physically hyper or mentally hyper. If intense 1:1 adult interaction can play, although it’s stuff like building a den or constructing Lego or kinetic sand or hungry hippos. No interest in small world play at all. Occasionally will sit down and hyper focus on drawing for 30 minutes but it is very rare and very unpredictable.

Do they sit down and play/ tear around the house?
See above.

Are they quiet/ talkative?
Does not stop talking apart from when watching TV.

At that age there is a massive variation.

Some children are quiet and not very active and like calm activities.

Most children are quite bouncy with limited concentration and do calm activities only for short periods of time.

Some children are very lively, fund it hard to sit still and have almost no ability to do calm activities.

Reception classes usually keep whole class teaching to a maximum of ten minutes. Even at that length there will be three or four who cannot concentrate for that length of time and need wobble cushions etc to help them meet the need to move.

The calm activities in reception classrooms are usually adult led with self led activities going on elsewhere. So some children who are capable of focus will do eg scissor activities in a group of 5 with one adult and may manage 15 minutes. Others might need 1:1 and will only do 5 mins at a time and the adult will do it with them in the segments,

Between 5 and 7 schools try to extend slowly the length of time of activities. Year 1 has much more carpet time and table time but still has free play and self led activities. Most children by age 7 can concentrate for much longer periods of time on calm activities and aren't such whildwinds.

That all sounds really normal. Mine doesn't really play with dolls and stuff now. Its all about drawing and activity books and reading.

If you want her to do some self play, you might need to trick her 😉

I lure mine into playing sometimes by leaving half done stuff around, like ill start a (kids) puzzle and do a few bits and she will join in or see it in the morning and start it or I'll leave a lego in the same way. Or I'll start doing something at the kitchen table and pretend I'm stuck and need her help to do a job and then make us a drink, which turns into cleaning the kitchen so I'm around but not doing the activity.

I also have toys in her room and sometimes ill ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, like tidy her room, and that usually guarantees an hour of play 😆

Another good one is having a clear out for charity - suddenly they will play with that stuff to prove it should stay!

Bathtime. We have a shared bath on a Sunday and I get out and leave her in there to play with toys. I sit just outside so I can keep an eye on her but I can also have a hot drink and read quietly.

Basically, dont worry. She sounds fine, it's just a tough age. Too old to play, too young to want to be alone.

It sounds like yours does loads of activities like mine so we do no tv in the week and unlimited (quality) TV at the weekend, as long as she is actually watching it, not flopping around on the sofa. That obviously has to fit around going to the park or family plans and if she is clearly bored by it then it goes off. My view is, if I was doing 30 hours of school a week, plus walking there and back, 3-4 evenings of activities and probably a monthly big club session, plus homework, I'd be absolutely exhausted so if she wants to recharge watching telly it's fine by me. She is doing everything she needs at school and is well behaved so I'm not too concerned what her activities are.

Eta - we take the approach of saying yes e.g. to tv, until it becomes apparent that there is an issue and as soon as we spot the signs of boredom or a poor behaviour pattern from watching certain shows, we apply the brake, so banning certain shows or restricting tv for a while.

I think the playing on their own thing is really context dependent. My older DS would only play by himself, once his younger brother was old enough to be annoying. So it was play with Lego on your own and I’ll keep you brother entertained, or don’t play with Lego (as your brother will eat it). His preference would absolutely be to have me play Lego with him. (Which I did do at other times). My boys would never draw by themselves at that age - they wanted me - probably 7/8 before they did that. I remember getting them to ´help’ me with lots at 3-5, as they just wanted to be with me and I needed to do stuff (eg they took stuff out of the shopping bags and I put it them away.

Mine likes to make an obstacle course, kick a football, try to do cartwheels, sometimes draws a card for a friend or something. She’s a girl.

If it isn't raining we often go to the park on the days that I collect her. And when we walk home this normally includes her running or scooting home.
She likes drawing, playing "restaurants" and board games. But almost all of her play requires an adult to play too. She will not play on her own and when left to (which happens more now as I have a 6 month old and a husband with 3 jobs) this is when it ends up in her tearing around the living room and chatting incessantly.

6yo DS, hyper and argumentative probably about a third of the time, wanting to know if he can go on screens about another third, and being calm or engaged on his own or being cajoled to do stuff like get dressed about the last third. Even when he's playing on his own he is usually loud though.

He has just been diagnosed with ADHD so not really typical. He's less hyper and argumentative than DS1 but we also know how to handle it better. They need clear structure, physical and mental exercise and we need to be fairly on top of offering snacks and reminding him to go to the toilet.

This was my understanding of the stereotype too, but my nutter is a girl 😆

Can't she set up a restaurant and draw/write a menu, to then have her cuddly toys as customers or something? The. You can be on WiFi ten customers etc?

You might have to lead her little bit, and maybe just get the cuddly toys out etc, but she should be able to independently play for a while that way.

Sounds like she needs more exercise, can you get her a little trampoline, or get her to make a little assault course a d you can "time her". Like she has to hop 10 times, walk along a skipping rope, do ten big steps into the sofa, up and down the stairs 3 times, crawl under a blanket... that kind of thing?

I think it’s really common for a first born to be a bit more needy in terms of wanting adults to play with them. My youngest has always just cracked on with stuff and can happily play on her own. My eldest always craved adult attention. Some of it is also personality led though- eldest has always loved imaginary play and having a cast of people to direct. Youngest is just as happy playing solo with a puzzle.

I’d also say a lot of 5 year olds can be quite hard work because they use so much energy being ‘good’ at school. My own one is an angel for her teachers and can be wild at collection or after activities.