AIBU that the system is leaving a whole group of children behind.

[Sendhelp20]

I know this will be down to location to but wow my mind is blown. We are in the middle of being allocated a secondary school for DD11 and there doesn’t seem to be a school that exists for her 🤣( I should not laugh but If I don’t I will cry )

she is academic although not advance and has gaps in her learning which does mean she is mildly behind this is due to missing 3 and half years of primary school.

all the schools consulted in a radius of 1 hour of our home which including

Sen schools - with different specialities
mainstream schools with units
and mainstreams have all come back
they can’t meet her needs

some she is “too academic “
others she is too complex

so now they are suggesting a mixture of home tutoring / online education but she wants to go to school 😭

where are the children who are inbetween going 😭😭

I completely understand your frustration. It sounds like the mainstream schools are aware they don’t have the staff or resources to properly care for your DD’s medical needs (I assume). I can see why it looks like there’s no alternative. I would have this thread moved to the SEN board where you might get some better advice from those who have experienced similar.

I do get that she will be entitled to an EOTAS but she wants to go to school, she wants to make friends and see them daily and she lacks focus at home 🙈

We live in a small town in rural Scotland, there are no special schools in our county and only one secondary within reasonable distance. Pupils with ASN are either in mainstream with pretty much no support, or can go to the ASN hub within the school, but they do not receive the same level of education there - it's basically primary level, with some subjects not done at all (eg modern languages). Luckily my academic child with ASD can cope in mainstream, but if he couldn't his only option would be the hub class or home schooling. My other child is very dyslexic but otherwise capable and I dread that it will be suggested they go to the hub as it will be easier for the school than doing all the adjustments needed for mainstream. YANBU there is a big lack of provision for children who are academically capable but have other ASN.

Primary was slightly easier once we found the right school which is mainstream but she has a direct 1-1 at all times. I know this is different in secondary.

I couldn’t imagine how hard it is in a rural area
this is the ridiculous part we live in the least rural place ever !

OP I'm in the same place. My son has only just turned six, highly intelligent, high vocabulary and academic but his neurodiversity doesn't allow him to care about rules and status (yet). I'm forced home ed and actually just getting into it and we're starting to enjoy ourselves. We are lucky that I can stay home with him and my husband can support us. The council have been okay, gave funding for a school but there are no schools. They are all too over stretched, full and results focused instead of child focused. Like you, the sen schools that would take him leave him with low academic options and I think would limit his self belief and future achievement. It is a disaster and I'm still getting over the shock of having to home ed. I've other children who went through the independent system just fine.

Assume you are on local SEN Facebook groups OP? You may well be best asking there. Whatever you do, do not agree to home educate her if that’s not what you want. In the nicest way, you need to keep your DD as the LA’s ‘problem’.

It is so frustrating that SEN provisions have such specific criteria. I kind of understand why, but it does mean kids like your DD slip through the cracks for having multiple, albeit not hugely severe needs.

So weirdly I am in a few Facebook groups but locally we don’t really have Facebook groups 🤣 and no matter how hard I try in Facebook and even forums like this our area seems to be against the internet haha

Do you take any responsibility for her education? Or do you think it’s govt’s or school’s problem?

What did you teach her (academically) while she was at home? Did you follow a curriculum to
make sure she was not falling behind? Did you hire tutors ? Were you constantly in touch with her school/teachers to get guidance on what you should be doing?

im not trying to have a go at you. Crying is ok, but it won’t help. You need a plan. Put down things on paper - what exactly you need. Then ask a meeting with her teacher in school and ask them what suppprt they can offer and take it from there.

Hi OP, we have DC like yours at my London comprehensive. They have 1-1 but it's done by a small team not the same person all day. So an LSA is with them in class (as they need) and they are escorted into and out of the building so they can be with their friends e.g. at break but are protected from corridor crowds. We have lifts.

Not all private schools are academic hot-houses, some are specifically for children with additional needs which cannot be met in the state sector.

There are lots of private SEN schools that LAs will fund a child with an EHCP. Not all private schools are for wealthy, bright children.

My son sounds similar, cerebral palsy, autism, hydrocephalus and Incontinance, extremely bright (only lost two marks from entire sats in y6) he now goes to mainstream secondary with a dedicated 1:1 it's all about very very precise wording! He attended primary 3 full days and 2 half days and does the same at secondary but with additional breaks built in to the day. It's possible but no way easy.

If she has an EHCP, the Local Authority has to ensure she has a named school, you need to be talking to the EHCP coordinator and enlist the support for your current SENCO. Regardless of schools saying they cannot meet need, a discussion will need to take place regarding the most suitable match and support needed to plug any gaps in support for your child.

so yes as you can see
despite not being at school for great lengths of time she is a age appropriate reader, she appropriate in maths and is behind in literacy / writing.
I take a lot of responsibility in her education but I also spend a great deal of time keeping her alive and I am one person.
i did however not hire tutors because as of yet I have not won the lottery and we need a roof over our heads.

Your DD is not LAs problem. She is your responsibility. Get as much support as possible from LA/school, if they can’t offer the support she needs, you need to step up and do the best you can for her.

It’s easy to blame LA/school etc , but you are her parent. It’s worth questioning yourself - what are YOU doing to not fail her?

Agree. They wouldn't even consider it.

OP, out of interest, has the LA suggested possible schools but you’ve rejected them? Or have they said they cannot find a school at all? What they cannot do is basically wash their hands of her by suggesting shes home educated with some tutoring paid for by them. But of you’ve rejected their suggestions that could be your only recourse.

This is a group of SEN schools - they're private!
www.theauroragroup.co.uk/private-special-sen-schools

OP, have you considered holding her back in Year 6 for another year to give her time to cope? So she can enter secondary with more confidence?

This is great to know, as her EHCP is pretty good tbf ! The LA know her well and have been trying.
this is how it currently works in her primary but I was struggling to see how it would in secondary so thank you ❤️

I work in SEN, I do understand that 😄. But private SEN schools can’t be funded by parents unless they have access to staggering amounts of money. PPs seemed to be suggesting that OP source and pay for a school.

I should have clarified I meant mainstream private schools not specialist. Sums of money and access are completely different.

Her school won’t keep her :(

this would be my favourable option hahaha

Completely agree... the SENbetweeners are most at risk of being left behind. I genuinely believe we will have an entire generation of lost children becoming lost adults. Heartbreaking. The biggest shock I had when my daughter was diagnosed at 12 was the complete and utter lack of support and the fact that NOBODY gives a shit! Literally no one. She's on roll at a SEN school for autistic teens that is run by a private business (don't even get me started on that!) who literally take the money and do nothing to support our child. The LA aren't interested as they haven't enough staff to manage the crisis. I genuinely believe this is a national disgrace and the next social care scandal... all too late for my wonderful, bright, funny daughter who is crippled with anxiety. It's just up to us to make sure we protect her as much as we can and support her in every way. Our children can achieve just as much as any of us but they must be given the right support.