Dealing with loss - when they are still here?

[TheWorminLabyrinth]

I've been pondering this for a few months now. How do you deal with loss, of a person, when that person is still here? They aren't the person you knew - they aren't your husband/wife/sister/friend - but they are still "alive" in the most base sense of the word. With a bereavement, you can have a funeral, and the grief of that, and then perhaps start to look forward. When the person has died as you knew them, but their body is still here, how do you deal with that loss?

Are you talking about dementia or Alzheimers disease?

Neither, stroke, with catastrophic brain damage.

It must be incredibly hard, I have no experience, so sorry, I have no advice.
I do send my sympathy and best wishes to you though.

My only experience of this is with dementia and I found you just need to roll with it. Accept the changes and just keep having fun with them on their terms and to whatever level they are capable.

That makes it sound easy and it’s not. There are incredibly sad moments that you’ll be upset for yourself and upset for them. All you can do is love them and try to make them feel happy and safe.

I’m sorry you’re going through this x

How old are they and what is their relationship to you?

My experIence is with my mum and dementia. For at least the last 6+ years she had no clue who I was. Every visit it was like another piece of her had gone. As she got worse, I visited less - no regrets (she was safe and cared for), I couldn’t handle seeing her like that and she had no clue about anything anymore and couldn’t care less about visits. I refused to feel guilty. You need to protect yourself, you still have a life to lead and your own family and responsibilities. I lost her finally a couple of months ago. That’s when the grief really kicks in, up until then I think you are just treading water trying to get through it. I’m sorry op, I hope you are ok.

My husband 4 years ago at age 45 had a massive stroke. We have 4 young kids and it's been hell.
I keep getting up each day looking after them all but I know I will definitely need counselling in the near future. I take long drives and scream, this actually works! I miss my husband.